Greetings y'all :
I found an interesting study regarding the development of an ADHD brain. Seems just like I thought part of the brain develops more slowly. It's a slippery slope. Children can learn accountability but with an ADHD brain the impulse control is delayed. They simply don't have that ability as fully functioning as non ADHD brains. Do we punish the deaf for not hearing? The wheel chair bound for not running? Then why punish the impulsive brain if an ADHDer? It's merely a delayed development - this is where nurture ought to trump punishment.
Check out the link.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/07/120730094822.htm
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Vow to be Bow
Greetings y'all :
Wow that was an incredibly quick month . I find It interesting re-reading my journal to see where we've been and where I've failed and even accidentally succeeded. But like driving it's best to merely glance in the rear view mirror , glance down the road and focus on what's immediately in my path.
I was rather stern with my first mate yesterday. It's not my personality and it's ineffective so I'm not sure why I do it. My only explanation , however Swiss cheese and weak, is that I felt lazy and just wanted to goof on my phone. So I helped create an artificial barrier between us and by golly that hurt. So today I will revert to limited technology and refocus on rebuilding my relationship with my little boy.
He doesn't get to see me all day. He even had a little crisis at the end of the day again because he was told he can't help me in my bus room after dismissal anymore . So why would I want to increase the chasm of separation and angst instead of bridging it? Epic Failure on my part.
My little first mate , during our snuggle up time that I finally got to, said " I like it better when you are bow instead of stern. Let's be bow together" that little play on words had " me down on knees of my heart" (jimmy buffet)
Even though my first mate cleaned more of his quarters yesterday than he had all month today I shall vow to be bow !
Thanks for reading folks!
Wow that was an incredibly quick month . I find It interesting re-reading my journal to see where we've been and where I've failed and even accidentally succeeded. But like driving it's best to merely glance in the rear view mirror , glance down the road and focus on what's immediately in my path.
I was rather stern with my first mate yesterday. It's not my personality and it's ineffective so I'm not sure why I do it. My only explanation , however Swiss cheese and weak, is that I felt lazy and just wanted to goof on my phone. So I helped create an artificial barrier between us and by golly that hurt. So today I will revert to limited technology and refocus on rebuilding my relationship with my little boy.
He doesn't get to see me all day. He even had a little crisis at the end of the day again because he was told he can't help me in my bus room after dismissal anymore . So why would I want to increase the chasm of separation and angst instead of bridging it? Epic Failure on my part.
My little first mate , during our snuggle up time that I finally got to, said " I like it better when you are bow instead of stern. Let's be bow together" that little play on words had " me down on knees of my heart" (jimmy buffet)
Even though my first mate cleaned more of his quarters yesterday than he had all month today I shall vow to be bow !
Thanks for reading folks!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Empowering Parents
Greetings Y'all :
I wanted to let y'all know about Empowering Parents . This is one of my better resources as I navigate the waters of parentdom. Yes they offer paid program but plenty of free advice as well. I am not soliciting and I get no money for the reference , I just want to help all parents and educators . What are your resources ?
Thanks
I wanted to let y'all know about Empowering Parents . This is one of my better resources as I navigate the waters of parentdom. Yes they offer paid program but plenty of free advice as well. I am not soliciting and I get no money for the reference , I just want to help all parents and educators . What are your resources ?
Thanks
This place s a zoo!
Greetings y'all:
Our zoo membership expires at the end of the month so we took one last adventure to one of our favorite places. I wanna thank the staff and critters for be so pleasant and outgoing on our last visit.
We've been there dozens of times but this was the first time we saw the leopards frolic , the male elephant move boulders to get to extra vegetation outside his pool. The chimpanzees even played nice. We had our first Okapi keeper encounter. There was much love and laughter yesterday as we did our thing. I don't do gift shops to much but Mowgli was given some money by a friend on Friday and wanted to shop. Little guy budgets to save some and chose a leopard mask. He looks hilarious in it especially when his sunglasses sit on the outside.
Once home we got swimming in. Good times I tell ya ! So I suppose yesterday was an excellent example of my need to ensure we stay on course , we work on our quiet times but also schedule our adventures . Adventures can be as simple as a good long walk. He learns from them and they use up his energy. The fine line we walk is training him to accept this quiet times daddy and he needs to recharge. Perhaps I can use some pictures - sports day or fishing day or hiking day or swimming day or quiet cove or house proud day .... Hmmm I don't know - shucks then again I rarely do know . Ahh the joy of being man brained and blonde!
As much as I'm ready to get a break from work I thank God I have steady employment. Try to think of and help those who aren't as lucky. Back in the old place we had a couple of homeless fellas we had adopted. Xander liked taking the food and blankets and my old clothes. Just do me one favor please keep your heart and mind open. Each day is an adventure - seek the joy and the joy will embrace you.
Thanks for reading folks!
Our zoo membership expires at the end of the month so we took one last adventure to one of our favorite places. I wanna thank the staff and critters for be so pleasant and outgoing on our last visit.
We've been there dozens of times but this was the first time we saw the leopards frolic , the male elephant move boulders to get to extra vegetation outside his pool. The chimpanzees even played nice. We had our first Okapi keeper encounter. There was much love and laughter yesterday as we did our thing. I don't do gift shops to much but Mowgli was given some money by a friend on Friday and wanted to shop. Little guy budgets to save some and chose a leopard mask. He looks hilarious in it especially when his sunglasses sit on the outside.
Once home we got swimming in. Good times I tell ya ! So I suppose yesterday was an excellent example of my need to ensure we stay on course , we work on our quiet times but also schedule our adventures . Adventures can be as simple as a good long walk. He learns from them and they use up his energy. The fine line we walk is training him to accept this quiet times daddy and he needs to recharge. Perhaps I can use some pictures - sports day or fishing day or hiking day or swimming day or quiet cove or house proud day .... Hmmm I don't know - shucks then again I rarely do know . Ahh the joy of being man brained and blonde!
As much as I'm ready to get a break from work I thank God I have steady employment. Try to think of and help those who aren't as lucky. Back in the old place we had a couple of homeless fellas we had adopted. Xander liked taking the food and blankets and my old clothes. Just do me one favor please keep your heart and mind open. Each day is an adventure - seek the joy and the joy will embrace you.
Thanks for reading folks!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
My son suffers from DAD
Greetings y'all :
Wow I've been at this journal for a month now and response is amazing. I thought if I had 100 views in a year I'd be lucky but after a month I've had 900. Thanks ! So how can I improve? Improve myself, my parenting, my progeny , my plethora of pithy paragraphs ? I ask you the reading to chime in. I have plenty of room for growth.
Yesterday we watched the Olympics ad nauseum . I realized two things - (1) I was right too much tv for junior mint is a bad thing, regardless of the subject matter (2) my boy is extremely competitive and highly emotional when it comes to any competition. OK OK I already knew that and I can take full credit for that DNA. Everybody or anybody who knew Spiffy knew me as fierce and vociferous competitor. I've completely mellowed out in my old age though. So it is imperative I realize that Xan man is merely being who I was with more opportunity to see more events. I often thought ' well my brother and father are vocal why not ? Or that I had to be overly enthusiastic to compensate for my lack of skills. ' I was average at best but had a lot of heart as we called it back in the day. My brother was/ is the superior athlete. I admired his abilities . My pop taught me sportsmanship.
Flash forward to A-Rob who believes a loss defines him or others. I feel yer pain little fella. Effort defines you though. Do I want my little dude to be successful and victorious ? Well duh - of course. Will I love am any more if he is the best at everything or anything ? Nope - not sure I can love him anymore.
We did finally break away tv to go swimming yesterday but not without a struggle. Y'all know we had another rocky week and I'd hoped to be at the pool at 11am. In fact I needed to be there at 11am for my own mental health. So we got there at 4pm with both of us stressed. Ok I can take credit for not being a better captain of the ship. I live,I learn, I move forward . It took me until snuggle time last night to also realize he also was stressed about missing his Princess.
With that said tis time to bid my daily adieu and begin our adventure. Sadly we missed Friends Service but I think we can make our last trip to the zoo before the membership expires.
Thanks for the support and for reading!
My son suffers from DAD
Greetings y'all :
Wow I've been at this journal for a month now and response is amazing. I thought if I had 100 views in a year I'd be lucky but after a month I've had 900. Thanks ! So how can I improve? Improve myself, my parenting, my progeny , my plethora of pithy paragraphs ? I ask you the reading to chime in. I have plenty of room for growth.
Yesterday we watched the Olympics ad nauseum . I realized two things - (1) I was right too much tv for junior mint is a bad thing, regardless of the subject matter (2) my boy is extremely competitive and highly emotional when it comes to any competition. OK OK I already knew that and I can take full credit for that DNA. Everybody or anybody who knew Spiffy knew me as fierce and vociferous competitor. I've completely mellowed out in my old age though. So it is imperative I realize that Xan man is merely being who I was with more opportunity to see more events. I often thought ' well my brother and father are vocal why not ? Or that I had to be overly enthusiastic to compensate for my lack of skills. ' I was average at best but had a lot of heart as we called it back in the day. My brother was/ is the superior athlete. I admired his abilities . My pop taught me sportsmanship.
Flash forward to A-Rob who believes a loss defines him or others. I feel yer pain little fella. Effort defines you though. Do I want my little dude to be successful and victorious ? Well duh - of course. Will I love am any more if he is the best at everything or anything ? Nope - not sure I can love him anymore.
We did finally break away tv to go swimming yesterday but not without a struggle. Y'all know we had another rocky week and I'd hoped to be at the pool at 11am. In fact I needed to be there at 11am for my own mental health. So we got there at 4pm with both of us stressed. Ok I can take credit for not being a better captain of the ship. I live,I learn, I move forward . It took me until snuggle time last night to also realize he also was stressed about missing his Princess.
With that said tis time to bid my daily adieu and begin our adventure. Sadly we missed Friends Service but I think we can make our last trip to the zoo before the membership expires.
Thanks for the support and for reading!
Wow I've been at this journal for a month now and response is amazing. I thought if I had 100 views in a year I'd be lucky but after a month I've had 900. Thanks ! So how can I improve? Improve myself, my parenting, my progeny , my plethora of pithy paragraphs ? I ask you the reading to chime in. I have plenty of room for growth.
Yesterday we watched the Olympics ad nauseum . I realized two things - (1) I was right too much tv for junior mint is a bad thing, regardless of the subject matter (2) my boy is extremely competitive and highly emotional when it comes to any competition. OK OK I already knew that and I can take full credit for that DNA. Everybody or anybody who knew Spiffy knew me as fierce and vociferous competitor. I've completely mellowed out in my old age though. So it is imperative I realize that Xan man is merely being who I was with more opportunity to see more events. I often thought ' well my brother and father are vocal why not ? Or that I had to be overly enthusiastic to compensate for my lack of skills. ' I was average at best but had a lot of heart as we called it back in the day. My brother was/ is the superior athlete. I admired his abilities . My pop taught me sportsmanship.
Flash forward to A-Rob who believes a loss defines him or others. I feel yer pain little fella. Effort defines you though. Do I want my little dude to be successful and victorious ? Well duh - of course. Will I love am any more if he is the best at everything or anything ? Nope - not sure I can love him anymore.
We did finally break away tv to go swimming yesterday but not without a struggle. Y'all know we had another rocky week and I'd hoped to be at the pool at 11am. In fact I needed to be there at 11am for my own mental health. So we got there at 4pm with both of us stressed. Ok I can take credit for not being a better captain of the ship. I live,I learn, I move forward . It took me until snuggle time last night to also realize he also was stressed about missing his Princess.
With that said tis time to bid my daily adieu and begin our adventure. Sadly we missed Friends Service but I think we can make our last trip to the zoo before the membership expires.
Thanks for the support and for reading!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
How 7,000,000,000 = 1
Greetings y'all:
Not sure where to begin today. I am hoping the whole paragraph thing gets resolved. If I cut and paste I lose the the paragraphs same if I post directly. With no computer I have email it and it seems there a potential issue with the server. Ok disclaimer is out of the way.
I'm sitting here watching the Olympics. Is it if business now ? Probably but the way I view it from through my idealistic rose colored glasses is the world can, at least momentarily, be united. The spirit of the gams was is effort. I will make what some will say is an un-American comment. I don't care who wins, I care about seeing every one work hard and have a chance to proof they are the best at that moment in time. The only competition we genuinely have is the internal challenge to improve ourselves and treat each of the other seven billion humans as an equal. This is a lesson I've been trying to have A-Rob learn and accept.
Yesterday he had a very good day. He had a problem leaving bowling because he kept coming in second. As he said " I wasn't mad at him , I was mad at me because I didn't try as hard as I could" Keep in mind Mowgli hasn't bowled in two years. We worked on just bettering ourselves not worrying about the others. ( think Phelps and Lochte in swimming, Lochte never gives up but it's still not life , just a game)
After bowling we visited his best friend , the Princess. They were inseparable as neighbors until we moved. Part of his anger is that when we moved he no longer had his "sister " next door. His playmate , his confidante. I do not blame him for being angry with me. He was able to play with her for seven hours. It lifted my heart to her them together again. I always considered the Princess my daughter. But this is a well deserved and wonderful opportunity for the girl and her mother. The mother is one of my dearest friends. Our heart aches while we support them on their new adventure. The kids will be pen pals and modern technology will keep us connected.
It was bittersweet revisiting my old neighborhood. I saw friends I hadn't seen since the move. One I'd known for over ten years and literally kept me alive. She was a safe house for me, she helped remind me of my soul and gave me hope. She has a generous spirit and deserves a life of peace. So yesterday we kept our course and saw generous and helpful friends. I was amazed at the generosity from the moving family and the the other neighbor.
It brings us back to the fact that we are all mostly the same. We have two hands, one to help out the other to help up others. Imagine if every person helped one other person. Not with what we think they need based on our own bias , but with what the actually need. It could mean a smile, a hug, helping with a chore, lending our ears, a bag if groceries etc.., imagine each of help one other person and soon all seven billion people are lifted up.
Thanks for reading again.
How 7 billion can equal 1
Greetings y'all:
Not sure where to begin today. I am hoping the whole paragraph thing gets resolved. If I cut and paste I lose the the paragraphs same if I post directly. With no computer I have email it and it seems there a potential issue with the server. Ok disclaimer is out of the way.
I'm sitting here watching the Olympics. Is it if business now ? Probably but the way I view it from through my idealistic rose colored glasses is the world can, at least momentarily, be united. The spirit of the gams was is effort. I will make what some will say is an un-American comment. I don't care who wins, I care about seeing every one work hard and have a chance to proof they are the best at that moment in time. The only competition we genuinely have is the internal challenge to improve ourselves and treat each of the other seven billion humans as an equal. This is a lesson I've been trying to have A-Rob learn and accept.
Yesterday he had a very good day. He had a problem leaving bowling because he kept coming in second. As he said " I wasn't mad at him , I was mad at me because I didn't try as hard as I could" Keep in mind Mowgli hasn't bowled in two years. We worked on just bettering ourselves not worrying about the others. ( think Phelps and Lochte in swimming, Lochte never gives up but it's still not life , just a game)
After bowling we visited his best friend , the Princess. They were inseparable as neighbors until we moved. Part of his anger is that when we moved he no longer had his "sister " next door. His playmate , his confidante. I do not blame him for being angry with me. He was able to play with her for seven hours. It lifted my heart to her them together again. I always considered the Princess my daughter. But this is a well deserved and wonderful opportunity for the girl and her mother. The mother is one of my dearest friends. Our heart aches while we support them on their new adventure. The kids will be pen pals and modern technology will keep us connected.
It was bittersweet revisiting my old neighborhood. I saw friends I hadn't seen since the move. One I'd known for over ten years and literally kept me alive. She was a safe house for me, she helped remind me of my soul and gave me hope. She has a generous spirit and deserves a life of peace. So yesterday we kept our course and saw generous and helpful friends. I was amazed at the generosity from the moving family and the the other neighbor.
It brings us back to the fact that we are all mostly the same. We have two hands, one to help out the other to help up others. Imagine if every person helped one other person. Not with what we think they need based on our own bias , but with what the actually need. It could mean a smile, a hug, helping with a chore, lending our ears, a bag if groceries etc.., imagine each of help one other person and soon all seven billion people are lifted up.
Thanks for reading again.
Not sure where to begin today. I am hoping the whole paragraph thing gets resolved. If I cut and paste I lose the the paragraphs same if I post directly. With no computer I have email it and it seems there a potential issue with the server. Ok disclaimer is out of the way.
I'm sitting here watching the Olympics. Is it if business now ? Probably but the way I view it from through my idealistic rose colored glasses is the world can, at least momentarily, be united. The spirit of the gams was is effort. I will make what some will say is an un-American comment. I don't care who wins, I care about seeing every one work hard and have a chance to proof they are the best at that moment in time. The only competition we genuinely have is the internal challenge to improve ourselves and treat each of the other seven billion humans as an equal. This is a lesson I've been trying to have A-Rob learn and accept.
Yesterday he had a very good day. He had a problem leaving bowling because he kept coming in second. As he said " I wasn't mad at him , I was mad at me because I didn't try as hard as I could" Keep in mind Mowgli hasn't bowled in two years. We worked on just bettering ourselves not worrying about the others. ( think Phelps and Lochte in swimming, Lochte never gives up but it's still not life , just a game)
After bowling we visited his best friend , the Princess. They were inseparable as neighbors until we moved. Part of his anger is that when we moved he no longer had his "sister " next door. His playmate , his confidante. I do not blame him for being angry with me. He was able to play with her for seven hours. It lifted my heart to her them together again. I always considered the Princess my daughter. But this is a well deserved and wonderful opportunity for the girl and her mother. The mother is one of my dearest friends. Our heart aches while we support them on their new adventure. The kids will be pen pals and modern technology will keep us connected.
It was bittersweet revisiting my old neighborhood. I saw friends I hadn't seen since the move. One I'd known for over ten years and literally kept me alive. She was a safe house for me, she helped remind me of my soul and gave me hope. She has a generous spirit and deserves a life of peace. So yesterday we kept our course and saw generous and helpful friends. I was amazed at the generosity from the moving family and the the other neighbor.
It brings us back to the fact that we are all mostly the same. We have two hands, one to help out the other to help up others. Imagine if every person helped one other person. Not with what we think they need based on our own bias , but with what the actually need. It could mean a smile, a hug, helping with a chore, lending our ears, a bag if groceries etc.., imagine each of help one other person and soon all seven billion people are lifted up.
Thanks for reading again.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Citius , Altius, Fortius
Greetings y'all :
Here we sit on the dawn of new Olympic games. I'll begin by saying god luck to all involved in these games ( remember they merely games). This American believes in London's ability to be successful.
So speaking from a personal perspective the Robinson Boys will continue to believe in and thrive with this hopey changey thing. Let's face it we've been faced with interesting obstacles and without internalized hope we'd be south east of despair. As opposed to our actual location - South East of disorder. What another random Jimmy Buffet reference ? You betcha !
We took care of our obligations yesterday then embraced our inner Ra and inner Poseidon by spending five hours absorbing vitamin D and swimming in the pool. I love my little mer- man cub. Five hours fuss free! He humbled me when he willing and sans prompting allowed every one to use his boogie board . He even gave rides to the wee ones. He also played frisbee with the life guards. He does great with older kids and younger kids he can help guide. Peers his age ? Not so much. But I'm embracing the comforting memory of yesterday. He and I swam and played and laughed so much I can't determine if my sides hurt from laughing or playing and quite frankly I don't care.
Xander brought up two little bottles of bubbles. Yes we need to make some home made ones . So we had great fun blowing and chasing bubbles, while giggling ( I'm man enough to giggle) and enjoying each other. A little boy , infant, had screamed when he first was put in the pool. The mom smiled and consoled him. He calmed down and even smiled when Xander played dolphin around him , then let him sit on a step holding the boogie board. He saw us blowing bubbles and grinned. I gave him my jar, for being brave, happy and well because it feels good to share. Xander kept blowing , then shared his with me saying- "you're a really nice man, you share with strangers just because" All I could do was smile and say thanks.
OK I didn't share to stroke my ego but because it reminded me that as a parent I am under a microscope. It's easy to go about my business oblivious to that fact. It's oft times hard to realize what exactly our children take from us in any given moment. Will he remember that moment or will he remember me yelling at him a few days ago. Tis a slippery slope of self consciousness and self awareness we teeter upon.
Personally I know how we view any given moment is based on personal perception. I'll be honest I love my family dearly ,yet I rarely interject my memories into conversation when we gather. Not because they are wrong but because I like hearing others perspectives. So I wonder - down the road when junior mint is regaling my grand children with tales of his youth what will the moments that are burned into his memory cells ? What will be his perception of his youth ? Only time will tell , I can't predict the future. I can only learn from the past and stay in the present.
It is my, and probably, every parents hope and dream our progeny go forth and change the world for the better. In my eyes that includes universal concern for all sentient beings to be happy an free of suffering ( HH Dalai Lama) . To have a sustainable lush planet for all future generations. If I may misquote what I think is Native American saying or sentiment - we don't this planet we are borrowing it from our children .
So yes Opie I hope you embrace the Olympic motto -" Citius Altius Fortius" learn faster , go higher and be stronger than I ever was! Life is real but games are just games. Winning isn't everything , I question if winning is anything? It doesn't define us but gives us a false sense of superiority or inferiority.
Thanks for reading about us today. Enjoy the spirit of the games - success through effort.
Citius , Altius, Fortius
Greetings y'all :
Here we sit on the dawn of new Olympic games. I'll begin by saying god luck to all involved in these games ( remember they merely games). This American believes in London's ability to be successful.
So speaking from a personal perspective the Robinson Boys will continue to believe in and thrive with this hopey changey thing. Let's face it we've been faced with interesting obstacles and without internalized hope we'd be south east of despair. As opposed to our actual location - South East of disorder. What another random Jimmy Buffet reference ? You betcha !
We took care of our obligations yesterday then embraced our inner Ra and inner Poseidon by spending five hours absorbing vitamin D and swimming in the pool. I love my little mer- man cub. Five hours fuss free! He humbled me when he willing and sans prompting allowed every one to use his boogie board . He even gave rides to the wee ones. He also played frisbee with the life guards. He does great with older kids and younger kids he can help guide. Peers his age ? Not so much. But I'm embracing the comforting memory of yesterday. He and I swam and played and laughed so much I can't determine if my sides hurt from laughing or playing and quite frankly I don't care.
Xander brought up two little bottles of bubbles. Yes we need to make some home made ones . So we had great fun blowing and chasing bubbles, while giggling ( I'm man enough to giggle) and enjoying each other. A little boy , infant, had screamed when he first was put in the pool. The mom smiled and consoled him. He calmed down and even smiled when Xander played dolphin around him , then let him sit on a step holding the boogie board. He saw us blowing bubbles and grinned. I gave him my jar, for being brave, happy and well because it feels good to share. Xander kept blowing , then shared his with me saying- "you're a really nice man, you share with strangers just because" All I could do was smile and say thanks.
OK I didn't share to stroke my ego but because it reminded me that as a parent I am under a microscope. It's easy to go about my business oblivious to that fact. It's oft times hard to realize what exactly our children take from us in any given moment. Will he remember that moment or will he remember me yelling at him a few days ago. Tis a slippery slope of self consciousness and self awareness we teeter upon.
Personally I know how we view any given moment is based on personal perception. I'll be honest I love my family dearly ,yet I rarely interject my memories into conversation when we gather. Not because they are wrong but because I like hearing others perspectives. So I wonder - down the road when junior mint is regaling my grand children with tales of his youth what will the moments that are burned into his memory cells ? What will be his perception of his youth ? Only time will tell , I can't predict the future. I can only learn from the past and stay in the present.
It is my, and probably, every parents hope and dream our progeny go forth and change the world for the better. In my eyes that includes universal concern for all sentient beings to be happy an free of suffering ( HH Dalai Lama) . To have a sustainable lush planet for all future generations. If I may misquote what I think is Native American saying or sentiment - we don't this planet we are borrowing it from our children .
So yes Opie I hope you embrace the Olympic motto -" Citius Altius Fortius" learn faster , go higher and be stronger than I ever was! Life is real but games are just games. Winning isn't everything , I question if winning is anything? It doesn't define us but gives us a false sense of superiority or inferiority.
Thanks for reading about us today. Enjoy the spirit of the games - success through effort.
Here we sit on the dawn of new Olympic games. I'll begin by saying god luck to all involved in these games ( remember they merely games). This American believes in London's ability to be successful.
So speaking from a personal perspective the Robinson Boys will continue to believe in and thrive with this hopey changey thing. Let's face it we've been faced with interesting obstacles and without internalized hope we'd be south east of despair. As opposed to our actual location - South East of disorder. What another random Jimmy Buffet reference ? You betcha !
We took care of our obligations yesterday then embraced our inner Ra and inner Poseidon by spending five hours absorbing vitamin D and swimming in the pool. I love my little mer- man cub. Five hours fuss free! He humbled me when he willing and sans prompting allowed every one to use his boogie board . He even gave rides to the wee ones. He also played frisbee with the life guards. He does great with older kids and younger kids he can help guide. Peers his age ? Not so much. But I'm embracing the comforting memory of yesterday. He and I swam and played and laughed so much I can't determine if my sides hurt from laughing or playing and quite frankly I don't care.
Xander brought up two little bottles of bubbles. Yes we need to make some home made ones . So we had great fun blowing and chasing bubbles, while giggling ( I'm man enough to giggle) and enjoying each other. A little boy , infant, had screamed when he first was put in the pool. The mom smiled and consoled him. He calmed down and even smiled when Xander played dolphin around him , then let him sit on a step holding the boogie board. He saw us blowing bubbles and grinned. I gave him my jar, for being brave, happy and well because it feels good to share. Xander kept blowing , then shared his with me saying- "you're a really nice man, you share with strangers just because" All I could do was smile and say thanks.
OK I didn't share to stroke my ego but because it reminded me that as a parent I am under a microscope. It's easy to go about my business oblivious to that fact. It's oft times hard to realize what exactly our children take from us in any given moment. Will he remember that moment or will he remember me yelling at him a few days ago. Tis a slippery slope of self consciousness and self awareness we teeter upon.
Personally I know how we view any given moment is based on personal perception. I'll be honest I love my family dearly ,yet I rarely interject my memories into conversation when we gather. Not because they are wrong but because I like hearing others perspectives. So I wonder - down the road when junior mint is regaling my grand children with tales of his youth what will the moments that are burned into his memory cells ? What will be his perception of his youth ? Only time will tell , I can't predict the future. I can only learn from the past and stay in the present.
It is my, and probably, every parents hope and dream our progeny go forth and change the world for the better. In my eyes that includes universal concern for all sentient beings to be happy an free of suffering ( HH Dalai Lama) . To have a sustainable lush planet for all future generations. If I may misquote what I think is Native American saying or sentiment - we don't this planet we are borrowing it from our children .
So yes Opie I hope you embrace the Olympic motto -" Citius Altius Fortius" learn faster , go higher and be stronger than I ever was! Life is real but games are just games. Winning isn't everything , I question if winning is anything? It doesn't define us but gives us a false sense of superiority or inferiority.
Thanks for reading about us today. Enjoy the spirit of the games - success through effort.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Brevity
Greetings y'all :
I will keep this blissfully brief today.
At the end of the day everyone is responsible for his or her actions. My eight year old is learning that the hard way. Rather than be angry and bitter and attempt to teach others that lesson I choose to question , inquire , adapt and move forward. I am responsible for myself and how I treat others and for trying to train my young child to train his dragon. I can only hope others do the same for themselves .
"Do unto others as you would have them do to you " love me some golden rule . I learned it as a child. I learned many thing , was taught many things that were not necessarily modeled but I followed my moral compass. I've no idea what the future holds but Mowgli gets consistent messaging and modeling at home while receiving mixed message else where.
The Robinson Boys will continue their adventurous journey called life. Our engine has two gears - neutral ( mindful meditation, Quiet Cove, reflection) and forward. We don't go in reverse in spite if impediments .
Thanks for the visit today folks. Have a nice day .
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Hammer vs. Porcelain Figurine
Greetings y'all :
Y'all know I'm fasting during daylight hours ostensibly for Ramadan but selfishly to cleanse my mind, body and soul. This time I've worked mindfully of the nutrients I choose , my thoughts and my (re)actions. Last evenings repast of homemade soup, homemade bread and homemade hummus was tasty, nutritious and filling. It's rather satisfying to cook by thoughtfully blending natural ingredients as opposed to opening a box and preparing a plethora of man made chemicals. I actually looked at the food in front of me and contemplated not indulging. I'd gone 23 hours without food or drink. I felt peckish but not starving. I also felt guilty that I could willing indulge while too many of my fellow humans have little to nothing. It made me feel truly blessed. I savored every chew of every bite and the full flavor or the nutrients.
So why start my blog with a running self serving monologue? Why not , is the short snarky answer. But relax and enjoy today's editorial journey is the truer response.
Yesterday I also relearned , or revisited if you will, the adage that I can only control my mind, my thoughts, my actions, my reactions , and my perceptions. I have learned , the excruciatingly hard way, to stop and think before speaking. Although I momentarily failed doing that yesterday.
The key for me is empathy. Can I calm my mind enough to view the other persons view point? What is going on holistically with the other person ? When we have encounters with other sentient beings it more than a mere interaction of that moment . We both bring our own history , song line , experiences, biases , stress, joy, personality, desires, goals , DNA, attitude, etc... It can be difficult to see the whole person but for the sake of the middle way it is imperative we do so.
Now let's transfer that to confines if our own family unit. Many times we "see" a myriad of family members in our progeny and relatives. But do we also see the individual ? No one , let me repeat no one is exactly the same as anyone else. Not even twins. Everyone has there own DNA , life experience , and perception. It is critical we see the uniqueness and value of every one we encounter and encourage and honor that in our kin.
Xander has had a rough few days at camp. Bad choices on his part. Sorry buddy I love you to the moon and back but you are responsible for your words and actions. He in lies the spanner in the works- he is eight and has the processing skills of an eight year old. This lesson will be repeated because of that fact. How then do approach it to help him raise his "Emotional Intelligence" ( great book by Daniel Golman- I recommend everyone read it) I've learned with junior mint it's best to address the problem, have him solve the problem , then let it go. It helps keep the anxiety level to a minimum while keeping the growth to a maximum. Unfortunately twice this , because of mis-communications at camp, he was hit with double jeopardy. Wait I had consequences, solved it, made amends and moved forward and now your retro punishing me again. OK that may be my inner daddy oversimplified take on the situation but it's my perception.
He's not perfect but I'm seeing him backslide after these interactions. And he was making great strides and progress . Just when I thought I could relax for a bit I'm back to putting pieces together. If you hammer a porcelain figurine you can't blame the figurine for shattering.
Gotta run folk need to grab my emotional super glue and prepare for the day.
Thanks for the visit!
Y'all know I'm fasting during daylight hours ostensibly for Ramadan but selfishly to cleanse my mind, body and soul. This time I've worked mindfully of the nutrients I choose , my thoughts and my (re)actions. Last evenings repast of homemade soup, homemade bread and homemade hummus was tasty, nutritious and filling. It's rather satisfying to cook by thoughtfully blending natural ingredients as opposed to opening a box and preparing a plethora of man made chemicals. I actually looked at the food in front of me and contemplated not indulging. I'd gone 23 hours without food or drink. I felt peckish but not starving. I also felt guilty that I could willing indulge while too many of my fellow humans have little to nothing. It made me feel truly blessed. I savored every chew of every bite and the full flavor or the nutrients.
So why start my blog with a running self serving monologue? Why not , is the short snarky answer. But relax and enjoy today's editorial journey is the truer response.
Yesterday I also relearned , or revisited if you will, the adage that I can only control my mind, my thoughts, my actions, my reactions , and my perceptions. I have learned , the excruciatingly hard way, to stop and think before speaking. Although I momentarily failed doing that yesterday.
The key for me is empathy. Can I calm my mind enough to view the other persons view point? What is going on holistically with the other person ? When we have encounters with other sentient beings it more than a mere interaction of that moment . We both bring our own history , song line , experiences, biases , stress, joy, personality, desires, goals , DNA, attitude, etc... It can be difficult to see the whole person but for the sake of the middle way it is imperative we do so.
Now let's transfer that to confines if our own family unit. Many times we "see" a myriad of family members in our progeny and relatives. But do we also see the individual ? No one , let me repeat no one is exactly the same as anyone else. Not even twins. Everyone has there own DNA , life experience , and perception. It is critical we see the uniqueness and value of every one we encounter and encourage and honor that in our kin.
Xander has had a rough few days at camp. Bad choices on his part. Sorry buddy I love you to the moon and back but you are responsible for your words and actions. He in lies the spanner in the works- he is eight and has the processing skills of an eight year old. This lesson will be repeated because of that fact. How then do approach it to help him raise his "Emotional Intelligence" ( great book by Daniel Golman- I recommend everyone read it) I've learned with junior mint it's best to address the problem, have him solve the problem , then let it go. It helps keep the anxiety level to a minimum while keeping the growth to a maximum. Unfortunately twice this , because of mis-communications at camp, he was hit with double jeopardy. Wait I had consequences, solved it, made amends and moved forward and now your retro punishing me again. OK that may be my inner daddy oversimplified take on the situation but it's my perception.
He's not perfect but I'm seeing him backslide after these interactions. And he was making great strides and progress . Just when I thought I could relax for a bit I'm back to putting pieces together. If you hammer a porcelain figurine you can't blame the figurine for shattering.
Gotta run folk need to grab my emotional super glue and prepare for the day.
Thanks for the visit!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Mutashabih
Greetings y'all :
Yesterday I rather flippantly said I don't know what the future brings after bragging about how successful my wee bonnie lad was over the weekend. Call it pride or karma but I had an inkling that the day was going to be challenging. It was. Did I set it up by boasting ? The universe prefers I humbly think if others and neither boast nor brag.
I faced several challenges through out the day but managed to keep things from getting explosive. I had my kid gloves on through our the day, with my head on a swivel . ( yes I realized I'm looking at a bad day today based on my braggadocio but this is an honest blog about honest feelings and events and life ain't all lollipops and ice cream ) I'm far from perfect, no where near it . But I tend to choose the non-combative non- confrontational approach. Any other approach would not be honest to who I am. Yesterday reflective and active listening coupled with having some campers do "quiet cove" really worked. Gotta play each scenario as it comes. Life is improv!
Whilst I was wheedling my way through the mine fields of the day my progeny was whining and railing. Seems an incident on Friday was worse than I thought and even though he had consequences for it on Friday the head honcho was not there and thus found about it on Monday. The situation was revisited and my son became oppositional, not sure I can reframe it in a positive manner. He became agitated , who am I kidding ? He became volcanic . Sadly rather doing what any respectful and responsible adult would do he denied and cried and tried to hide from it. In his eight year old mind the past was in the past , he handled the consequences when it happened.
We talked last night, role played scenarios of accepting responsibility and moving on. But while he was talking out his game plan, what would and would not work based if I do this then, he suddenly looked up at confused puppy eyes and asked I do I know when it's over and I can move forward. I was at a loss for words , for the second time that day. He said something very similar to that as we pulled away from camp.
I have no answer, within the confines of our relationship we address something, face the music, and move on. But I can't control outside scenarios, situations and consequences. Granted I still don't have all the facts from all the parties so I'm not fully able to grasp the breadth and depth of what went down . I'll find out more today.
What I do know is that it's better to give a mea culpa and strive to make amends rather than deny and hide from our mistakes or sins. That, obviously will be today's lessons. Own your words, thoughts and actions. Right words , right thoughts , right actions.
Very sweetly, when it was time for me break fast, he asked why put others before me. Why would I feed him through out the evening the give him first helping when I hadn't eaten all day? Why give him the lions share of my dinner then nibble on carrots and grapes? Well one reason is its a parents duty ( which I joyfully embrace) secondly I was not starving, thirdly self sacrifice is not a bad thing and lastly I taught the definition of JOY is putting Jesus first then Others then Yourself. He found it funny I even let Carl eat before me. Who's Carl ? He's the imaginary third party in our role playing if Xander doesn't want to his son the stuffed snake,Fred, involved. Hey dads gotta do what a dads gotta do ,
Oddly even after yesterday's fabulous fiasco from Friday I am optimistic today. Each second of each day brings renewed hope. We can talk theories until we are blue in the face ( by the way I look good in blue, no really it brings out my blue eyes, blonde hair and sun tan - TMI ?)but the onus is in transitioning from theory to application .
Go face the day with a strong mind and a gentle soul, with a gentle mind and a strong soul. " Remember we're all in this together" Red Green
Thanks for stopping by folks. FYI - the title of today's journal translates , albeit roughly , to ambiguous.
Yesterday I rather flippantly said I don't know what the future brings after bragging about how successful my wee bonnie lad was over the weekend. Call it pride or karma but I had an inkling that the day was going to be challenging. It was. Did I set it up by boasting ? The universe prefers I humbly think if others and neither boast nor brag.
I faced several challenges through out the day but managed to keep things from getting explosive. I had my kid gloves on through our the day, with my head on a swivel . ( yes I realized I'm looking at a bad day today based on my braggadocio but this is an honest blog about honest feelings and events and life ain't all lollipops and ice cream ) I'm far from perfect, no where near it . But I tend to choose the non-combative non- confrontational approach. Any other approach would not be honest to who I am. Yesterday reflective and active listening coupled with having some campers do "quiet cove" really worked. Gotta play each scenario as it comes. Life is improv!
Whilst I was wheedling my way through the mine fields of the day my progeny was whining and railing. Seems an incident on Friday was worse than I thought and even though he had consequences for it on Friday the head honcho was not there and thus found about it on Monday. The situation was revisited and my son became oppositional, not sure I can reframe it in a positive manner. He became agitated , who am I kidding ? He became volcanic . Sadly rather doing what any respectful and responsible adult would do he denied and cried and tried to hide from it. In his eight year old mind the past was in the past , he handled the consequences when it happened.
We talked last night, role played scenarios of accepting responsibility and moving on. But while he was talking out his game plan, what would and would not work based if I do this then, he suddenly looked up at confused puppy eyes and asked I do I know when it's over and I can move forward. I was at a loss for words , for the second time that day. He said something very similar to that as we pulled away from camp.
I have no answer, within the confines of our relationship we address something, face the music, and move on. But I can't control outside scenarios, situations and consequences. Granted I still don't have all the facts from all the parties so I'm not fully able to grasp the breadth and depth of what went down . I'll find out more today.
What I do know is that it's better to give a mea culpa and strive to make amends rather than deny and hide from our mistakes or sins. That, obviously will be today's lessons. Own your words, thoughts and actions. Right words , right thoughts , right actions.
Very sweetly, when it was time for me break fast, he asked why put others before me. Why would I feed him through out the evening the give him first helping when I hadn't eaten all day? Why give him the lions share of my dinner then nibble on carrots and grapes? Well one reason is its a parents duty ( which I joyfully embrace) secondly I was not starving, thirdly self sacrifice is not a bad thing and lastly I taught the definition of JOY is putting Jesus first then Others then Yourself. He found it funny I even let Carl eat before me. Who's Carl ? He's the imaginary third party in our role playing if Xander doesn't want to his son the stuffed snake,Fred, involved. Hey dads gotta do what a dads gotta do ,
Oddly even after yesterday's fabulous fiasco from Friday I am optimistic today. Each second of each day brings renewed hope. We can talk theories until we are blue in the face ( by the way I look good in blue, no really it brings out my blue eyes, blonde hair and sun tan - TMI ?)but the onus is in transitioning from theory to application .
Go face the day with a strong mind and a gentle soul, with a gentle mind and a strong soul. " Remember we're all in this together" Red Green
Thanks for stopping by folks. FYI - the title of today's journal translates , albeit roughly , to ambiguous.
Monday, July 23, 2012
"it's good to be me..."
Greetings y'all ;
Sadly today's blog will be brief. While editing it on my phone the entire entry was deleted. That'll learn me edit it. Perhaps there is a lesson in it. To let go , to be resilient to not edit it.
So here is the synopsis . Quite honestly I am a tad sad because I written what in my mind was one of my better entries. Oh well the only direction is forward.
Billions of children have been born and raised so parenting is cake walk - right ? Well that is until we see the uniqueness of each person, moment and situation.
Yesterday was a day filled with little moments. From randomly selecting a different grocer and running into an ex co-worker who was my angel and kept me sane for two years. You know the kind of friend and no matter what believes in you and especially in my son. The kind of person I could call at midnight and know I'd get her full presence for an hour as she walked me through my mental, parental and professional mine fields. Seeing her reminded me how strong we are , how far we've come and what we've overcome.
Xander and ended up at the pool yesterday. Imagine that ? Once again we laughed til our sides hurt then kept on laughing. I can't remember the last time I saw his joie de vivre . He said " it's good to me , it's easy for me to be me but hard for others. " can't argue with that.
Later on back in the dude den we continued our giggle fest and I saw a special twinkle in his eye that had been missing for some time. As I soaked it in he said " daddy I'm happy " . Score , game , set , match. My job here is done. OK so not exactly but lets face it that's nirvana to a parents ear. During dinner I tried telling him how much I like him. Of course I love him , but I also like him for his inner Xanderness.
Who knows what today will bring. I can't predict the future. I can only cherish the past and embrace the present.
Wow - I'm still a tad blue about how different this is from my original stream of consciousness post. The core and essence are still there but the deliver- not so much. I guess the message is the key . " breathe in , breathe out, move on" ( jimmy buffet)
Thanks for reading again today ?
Sadly today's blog will be brief. While editing it on my phone the entire entry was deleted. That'll learn me edit it. Perhaps there is a lesson in it. To let go , to be resilient to not edit it.
So here is the synopsis . Quite honestly I am a tad sad because I written what in my mind was one of my better entries. Oh well the only direction is forward.
Billions of children have been born and raised so parenting is cake walk - right ? Well that is until we see the uniqueness of each person, moment and situation.
Yesterday was a day filled with little moments. From randomly selecting a different grocer and running into an ex co-worker who was my angel and kept me sane for two years. You know the kind of friend and no matter what believes in you and especially in my son. The kind of person I could call at midnight and know I'd get her full presence for an hour as she walked me through my mental, parental and professional mine fields. Seeing her reminded me how strong we are , how far we've come and what we've overcome.
Xander and ended up at the pool yesterday. Imagine that ? Once again we laughed til our sides hurt then kept on laughing. I can't remember the last time I saw his joie de vivre . He said " it's good to me , it's easy for me to be me but hard for others. " can't argue with that.
Later on back in the dude den we continued our giggle fest and I saw a special twinkle in his eye that had been missing for some time. As I soaked it in he said " daddy I'm happy " . Score , game , set , match. My job here is done. OK so not exactly but lets face it that's nirvana to a parents ear. During dinner I tried telling him how much I like him. Of course I love him , but I also like him for his inner Xanderness.
Who knows what today will bring. I can't predict the future. I can only cherish the past and embrace the present.
Wow - I'm still a tad blue about how different this is from my original stream of consciousness post. The core and essence are still there but the deliver- not so much. I guess the message is the key . " breathe in , breathe out, move on" ( jimmy buffet)
Thanks for reading again today ?
My angel walking on water
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Swimming in the rain
Greetings y'all :
I suppose you could call yesterday just another random Robinson Boy adventure. We had our original plans jumbled a bit because of the weather. Twas a chilly rainy day here. No I wouldn't call it dreary, our crops most certainly needed the hydration. But being inside all day and not doing what he looked forward to all day could have been a recipe for disaster.
Alas we ended up having an extended
(over thirty minutes) tickle fight. He played games and laughed til our sides hurt, then laughed some more. I let him lead our activities. Of course since he is a Pisces and he saw the pool was open , in spite of the rain, he suggested we go swimming. Folks it was 22c/ 72f when we commenced our aquatic activities . Dropped to 21c/70f by the time we were finished. It was the most fun we've ever had swimming! I admire my young mans adaptability and flexibility. When it rains you can grouse or dance. La vies dansante !!!!
We found out late that evening that we missed an opportunity to see his old friend. I still haven't figured out this new iPhone. Didn't want it and don't like it. I can't figure out how to get it to ring for phone calls, I miss almost every call, and still stumble through retrieving voice mail messages. Yes I'm a troglodyte and I'm proud of it. Still junior mint was snuggled with me and accepted what he called " a sad moment in the best day" It's great seeing my son be playful and smile again.
It gives me hope to witness his flexibility. It's easy to be egotistical and take credit for teaching him this skill but I can't help but ponder the poor lads history that has lead him to accept and expect disappointment. Adaptability is a noble quality, holding on to expectations leads to suffering. What about reaching for ones goals? I think it's still possible to reach ones goals but oft times the path we take to get there is not the original route we mapped out. Life is rife with detours, those detours can hold many new experiences and joys. Remember - I'm never lost , I'm just not where I thought I'd be right now.
On a side note I awoke singing one of our special songs: Don Henley's " I'm taking you home" I played and sang this to man cub the day I drove him home from the hospital as a starter baby. I still sing it to him. The lyric are about Don bringing his child home and how life changes for the better when we have the wonderment of progeny in our lives. I want to acknowledge all the wonderfully happy and fulfilled childless folk out there though. For me I always wanted children and finally got my quirky and exuberant bundle of joy. In many ways he saved me.
Here are the lyrics to the song. I apologize for the extended blog today but it's my blog so nanny nanny boo boo ( said playfully)
I had a good lifeBefore you cameI had my friends and my freedomI had my name
Still there was sorrow and emptinessTill you made me gladOh, in this loveI found strength never knew I had
And this love is like nothing have ever knownTake my hand loveI'm taking you home, taking you home
There were days, lonely daysWhen the world wouldn't throw me a crumbNo no, but I kept on believingThat this day would come
And this love is like nothing I have ever knownNo no baby, take my hand loveI'm taking you home, I'm taking you home
Where we can be with the onesWho really careHome, where we can grow togetherKeep you in my heart forever
Oh, and this love is like nothing I have ever knownOh, no no baby, take my hand loveI'm taking you home
Oh, this love is like nothing I have ever knownNo no baby, take my handTaking you home, I'm taking you home, yes I am
Taking you homeTaking you homeTaking you homeTaking you home
Read more: DON HENLEY - TAKING YOU HOME LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/taking-you-home-lyrics-don-henley.html#ixzz21Lzb8YZj
Copied from MetroLyrics.com
Thanks for reading about us today.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Motivation
Greetings y'all :
Most folks will agree that motivation is key. We are all motivated by something to do something. We have extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. We strive to do our best and to be successful with the use of motivation. We may internalize or sense of competition and desire to do our best to be more creative and productive on our job. We may even find we receive verbal praise or maybe promotions and pay rises by thinking outside the box. We feel good when we are rewarded for creativity and it encourages us to further growth. Conversely we may find our thinking outside the box, building a better mousetrap as it were , being squelched and under appreciated. We then feel frustrated but realize we also have the flexibility to find an employer who appreciates and stimulates who we are.
Now suppose you went to work and had very little ability to do whole brain learning, to think creatively, or to put who you are into your career. You are expected to be a silent cog in the machinery. I understand some folks may find this scenario comforting, but many will tilt against these windmills.
Which situation is more idealistic? Which situation is more realistic ? Which situation is more stressful? Which situation is more stimulating?
Now I ask you what about being a quirky,exuberant , and creative child? Children are told to stop watching the magic talking moving picture box, stop playing video games, to get outside and play and explore. However they are being told to sit quietly in the classroom or risk losing recess. How do we reconcile this? What is the motivation for these children? Good grades ? Avoid punishment ? I posit those are forced extrinsic motivators.
I find , and this is simply my own humble opinion, that many children like to explore. The proverb goes give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats forever. Are we simply spooning information to students , expecting them to quietly digest it. Is it not better to let them discover the knowledge and therefore own it?
Creativity is something which can be culled or quelled. How do we tap into a child's intrinsic motivation? How do we genuinely allow a child to take ownership of life long active learning? I fear industrialized style of education is denying our future generations of the ability to lead and think creatively.
I'll step down from my soap box for the moment . Thanks for listening to my rant.
Meanwhile back at Mowgli. Yes part of rant was about how he may seem to be off task or off topic but if one investigates he's not being disrespectful and rude but is oft times taking the base knowledge being taught and expanding it with what ifs. He is a experiential eight year old who thinks outside the box and beyond the basic instruction. Admittedly he needs to learn how to better is present in thoughts in a more respectful manner, but again he is eight. Is he angry? Yeppers he's had experiences no child should have. Many children have it worse but I'm raising this one not the others. I was told yesterday " wait he's bright , he's eight and he's angry? Ok so what's the problem ? Many bright and angry eighteen year olds can't fully grasp or articulate their feelings " I have to admit I love working in BLS, tis my calling but my child belongs in the original placement of GT third grade not the BLS program. His self control in group settings has increased exponentially! Is it the actual school setting? No but he needs to be challenged academically. We, he and I , are reading Rudyard Kiplings unabridged version of 'Captains Courageous ' and he is able to digest it.How many eight year olds enjoy reading books on the elements? How many can bake bread from scratch ? Can explain how a steam engine works? Have a good understanding of the government? Many children out pace him but he is the bright bulb in my lamp.
Oops sorry for another rant folks.
Thanks for listening yet again. Remember all feedback , both positive and negative , help facilitate growth in all of us. A few folks say they my mindless meandering mumblings on here but feel they have little to add. I say balderdash ! Every sentient being gas valid thoughts and opinion. Plato showed us that life in the cave is restrictive.
Most folks will agree that motivation is key. We are all motivated by something to do something. We have extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. We strive to do our best and to be successful with the use of motivation. We may internalize or sense of competition and desire to do our best to be more creative and productive on our job. We may even find we receive verbal praise or maybe promotions and pay rises by thinking outside the box. We feel good when we are rewarded for creativity and it encourages us to further growth. Conversely we may find our thinking outside the box, building a better mousetrap as it were , being squelched and under appreciated. We then feel frustrated but realize we also have the flexibility to find an employer who appreciates and stimulates who we are.
Now suppose you went to work and had very little ability to do whole brain learning, to think creatively, or to put who you are into your career. You are expected to be a silent cog in the machinery. I understand some folks may find this scenario comforting, but many will tilt against these windmills.
Which situation is more idealistic? Which situation is more realistic ? Which situation is more stressful? Which situation is more stimulating?
Now I ask you what about being a quirky,exuberant , and creative child? Children are told to stop watching the magic talking moving picture box, stop playing video games, to get outside and play and explore. However they are being told to sit quietly in the classroom or risk losing recess. How do we reconcile this? What is the motivation for these children? Good grades ? Avoid punishment ? I posit those are forced extrinsic motivators.
I find , and this is simply my own humble opinion, that many children like to explore. The proverb goes give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats forever. Are we simply spooning information to students , expecting them to quietly digest it. Is it not better to let them discover the knowledge and therefore own it?
Creativity is something which can be culled or quelled. How do we tap into a child's intrinsic motivation? How do we genuinely allow a child to take ownership of life long active learning? I fear industrialized style of education is denying our future generations of the ability to lead and think creatively.
I'll step down from my soap box for the moment . Thanks for listening to my rant.
Meanwhile back at Mowgli. Yes part of rant was about how he may seem to be off task or off topic but if one investigates he's not being disrespectful and rude but is oft times taking the base knowledge being taught and expanding it with what ifs. He is a experiential eight year old who thinks outside the box and beyond the basic instruction. Admittedly he needs to learn how to better is present in thoughts in a more respectful manner, but again he is eight. Is he angry? Yeppers he's had experiences no child should have. Many children have it worse but I'm raising this one not the others. I was told yesterday " wait he's bright , he's eight and he's angry? Ok so what's the problem ? Many bright and angry eighteen year olds can't fully grasp or articulate their feelings " I have to admit I love working in BLS, tis my calling but my child belongs in the original placement of GT third grade not the BLS program. His self control in group settings has increased exponentially! Is it the actual school setting? No but he needs to be challenged academically. We, he and I , are reading Rudyard Kiplings unabridged version of 'Captains Courageous ' and he is able to digest it.How many eight year olds enjoy reading books on the elements? How many can bake bread from scratch ? Can explain how a steam engine works? Have a good understanding of the government? Many children out pace him but he is the bright bulb in my lamp.
Oops sorry for another rant folks.
Thanks for listening yet again. Remember all feedback , both positive and negative , help facilitate growth in all of us. A few folks say they my mindless meandering mumblings on here but feel they have little to add. I say balderdash ! Every sentient being gas valid thoughts and opinion. Plato showed us that life in the cave is restrictive.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Ramblings and Ramadan
Greetings y'all :
Thought ( or hoped) I forgot about y'all didn't ya' ? It's not that I didn't have anything to say its more that I have a habit of going tech free somedays. So here we go folks time to get out of the mustard and ketchup.
Xander had busy minded Wednesday but a stellar Thursday. I'm still amazed how different life is when I'm calm and proactive as opposed to stressfully reactive. More over I'm impressed how well this little person can accept responsibility. He wrote an apology letter with out hesitation last night and then did nine pages of Multiplication tonight. I had only assigned him three pages. ( FYI that's three times as many pages ) Who knows maybe it's the new moon.
So Ramadan starts this morning. I'm not Muslim but I usually try fasting for a few days . It does help one get I touch spiritually and to truly understand what it's like for those who have no choice but are starving and thirsty. I find it interesting that even Abraham fasted. I was able to truly honor the spirit of Ramadan just one year, I'm hoping this will be my second successful year. It is a time for self reflection and self sacrifice. Fortunately I'm extremely poor this year and can not afford much food. Xander will be fine - he has never wanted for nourishment.
Tis time for me to return to dreamland. I was awaken by fierce storms and must get up to get nourishment before sunrise. Let's see if I can keep my focus and composure and remain proactive with my progeny. I challenge you to skip one meal a week and donate what you would have spent our eaten to charity or directly to a homeless person. Remember- there but by the grace of God go I.
Thought ( or hoped) I forgot about y'all didn't ya' ? It's not that I didn't have anything to say its more that I have a habit of going tech free somedays. So here we go folks time to get out of the mustard and ketchup.
Xander had busy minded Wednesday but a stellar Thursday. I'm still amazed how different life is when I'm calm and proactive as opposed to stressfully reactive. More over I'm impressed how well this little person can accept responsibility. He wrote an apology letter with out hesitation last night and then did nine pages of Multiplication tonight. I had only assigned him three pages. ( FYI that's three times as many pages ) Who knows maybe it's the new moon.
So Ramadan starts this morning. I'm not Muslim but I usually try fasting for a few days . It does help one get I touch spiritually and to truly understand what it's like for those who have no choice but are starving and thirsty. I find it interesting that even Abraham fasted. I was able to truly honor the spirit of Ramadan just one year, I'm hoping this will be my second successful year. It is a time for self reflection and self sacrifice. Fortunately I'm extremely poor this year and can not afford much food. Xander will be fine - he has never wanted for nourishment.
Tis time for me to return to dreamland. I was awaken by fierce storms and must get up to get nourishment before sunrise. Let's see if I can keep my focus and composure and remain proactive with my progeny. I challenge you to skip one meal a week and donate what you would have spent our eaten to charity or directly to a homeless person. Remember- there but by the grace of God go I.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
YouTube Blog: Face blurring: when footage requires anonymity
YouTube Blog: Face blurring: when footage requires anonymity
Neat idea for those who wish to share video of their progeny without showing the childten's faces.
Neat idea for those who wish to share video of their progeny without showing the childten's faces.
Quick transformation ?
Greeting y'all :
As far a points go yesterday was Xander's worse at camp. But I wasn't upset, disappointed maybe but not upset. He loss points, did great for while, loss points , did great for awhile, loss points then did great for while. He even saved my tuchus during afternoon bus duty. I was tied up with a student and he had my bus group lined up and accounted for!
What humbled me the most was his feelings about his day. He's learned to strive for perfection but not get angry at blips in the day. Yesterday wasn't a day losing a steady stream of points but of very brief periods of oops followed by excellence. I call that learning. He was quite frustrated with his performance yesterday but saw that it was mostly good , just need to reduce those moments. The good news is none of the points was for anger or aggression , mostly being too exuberant. I was touched when a teacher from his old school told me she is seeing the child they knew he was. She is "amazed at his quick transformation!". I told her , he's off his medicine, she felt sometimes kids are kids. I'm just glad the anger and aggression have decreased. I've lived with that for almost thirty years- papa bear needs a break. I also see it as not just a transformation but a return to the child he once was. Again a key factor is my actions and reactions.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
We made it to the pool where he played quite nicely with a young man who looked bored. Very sweet. After that we finally made it to karate then the food store . I usually enjoy the grocery shopping but time are very tough and we found ourselves in new store . It was big, bright , busy and expensive . Lesson learned - dance with who brung ya' ie new at end of day can be stressful. I give Mowgli credit , hd wanted many things and accepted that I could not get them. He adapted. He is not starving but as he is learning - needs before wants.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
We finished the evening with listening to Sarah Vaughn in background while enjoying a quiet repast, followed by the killer b's ( bath, book and bed) however he did squeeze in a phone call from his ex neighbor who has been checking in on him.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
Thanks for listening! Stay hydrated and think of those who have no a.c. , or food or fresh water or shelter. Count and share your blessings.
As far a points go yesterday was Xander's worse at camp. But I wasn't upset, disappointed maybe but not upset. He loss points, did great for while, loss points , did great for awhile, loss points then did great for while. He even saved my tuchus during afternoon bus duty. I was tied up with a student and he had my bus group lined up and accounted for!
What humbled me the most was his feelings about his day. He's learned to strive for perfection but not get angry at blips in the day. Yesterday wasn't a day losing a steady stream of points but of very brief periods of oops followed by excellence. I call that learning. He was quite frustrated with his performance yesterday but saw that it was mostly good , just need to reduce those moments. The good news is none of the points was for anger or aggression , mostly being too exuberant. I was touched when a teacher from his old school told me she is seeing the child they knew he was. She is "amazed at his quick transformation!". I told her , he's off his medicine, she felt sometimes kids are kids. I'm just glad the anger and aggression have decreased. I've lived with that for almost thirty years- papa bear needs a break. I also see it as not just a transformation but a return to the child he once was. Again a key factor is my actions and reactions.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
We made it to the pool where he played quite nicely with a young man who looked bored. Very sweet. After that we finally made it to karate then the food store . I usually enjoy the grocery shopping but time are very tough and we found ourselves in new store . It was big, bright , busy and expensive . Lesson learned - dance with who brung ya' ie new at end of day can be stressful. I give Mowgli credit , hd wanted many things and accepted that I could not get them. He adapted. He is not starving but as he is learning - needs before wants.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
We finished the evening with listening to Sarah Vaughn in background while enjoying a quiet repast, followed by the killer b's ( bath, book and bed) however he did squeeze in a phone call from his ex neighbor who has been checking in on him.
I tell ya I love that little guy !
Thanks for listening! Stay hydrated and think of those who have no a.c. , or food or fresh water or shelter. Count and share your blessings.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Follow your moral compass
Greetings y'all :
Xander was significantly better yesterday. I let him play Angry Birds in my phone for a few minutes while u say next to him. Electronics are an extremely rare treat for him. One minor problem occurred though. His old man crashed and nodded off while he played thus leaving him to play longer than scheduled ( I never set the timer either) an also missing his karate training. To say there was a bit of angst on his part would be an understatement . He fussed about missing training but as he screamed and cried I reverted to reflective listening and a time in while hugging him.
I apologized for not setting the timer. He explained he was really disappointed because we planned to walk to training, one of our special little adventures. Later on he was able to honestly state he was also upset about getting off the game. I know video games are not inherently bad. I also know that my sons precious busy mind with its neurons firing extremely rapidly has trouble readjusting to the static world of reality. I failed to have a back up or transition activity to replace the training.
I was impressed that during dinner he asked if we could have a father-son-son talk. Please note he calls his stuffed snake ,Fred ,his son. Seems Fred has been diagnosed with ADHD and Xander wanted some good parenting advice. So folks Fred, Xander and me commiserated over a meal Xander prepared. Brown rice with peas and Morning Star soy meat with a glass of soy milk Ovaltine.
It was a heartwarming conversation. ManCub first discussed what it's like living with his beautifully busy brain. I was able to explain that everything about his brain is what makes him so incredible! Distractable ? No not attention deficit because it's not a deficit , he can focus and solve problems but is a global thinker. He's expected to see one thing but sees the interconnectivity of life! Sure that means being a day dreamer like Albert Einstein and it also means he's reached a high level of Zen that others train years for and sometimes never obtain. Impulsive ? Great he's able to see and find new solution! He's a quirky and creative problem solver. Hyperactive ? He's an exuberant eight year old boy ready to explore the real world. He's not built for sitting at a desk all day, he's a man, albeit little man, of action.
He asked how I became a good father ( hush as long as he still believes that I ain't fighting it ) I told I've been called four things that I liked and choose to strive for, even meditate on. They are optimistic, positive, idealistic and resilient. I explained I've been called many negative things as well , heck idealistic is usually thrown at me as an insult but I reframe it in positive and resilient little mind. But I have a choice to make with every encounter. Do I accept the others persons view of me as gospel? Do I arrogantly deny their perspective ? Or do I glean the positives while respecting their view has having some value? I strive for option #3
Building my core is essential. Maintaining my core requires daily reflection and courage. Courage to follow my own moral compass and the courage to change course as I tack in the wind and navigate life changeable seas. I can remember struggling as a non conformist because I would , and still do, follow my personal moral compass. Perhaps it is the cause or the effect of my introverted personality. But I know I am slowly building my tribe. Those who either think like me or at least support and appreciate my otherwise thinking brain. My biological family is wonderful but I'm not sure they could ever grasp my quirky brain. I still struggle to fit into societal expectation and fail miserably with fiscal responsibilities. But that's a topic for a later blog.
Back to the discussion of our dinner dialog. Xander really slowed my brain and touched my heart by initiating the conversation and adding some sweet insight into his inner workings. Again this is a conversation we could not have had whilst he was medicated. He even said the seas of his mind have calmed enough to stop fighting his sails, that it's nice to relax and be able to think and feel. Again medicine works for many individuals. I feel I know his brain enough to help him train it and harness it's energy rather give his brain and body to a pharmaceutical company. Many will rightfully argue against me and I respect that. However to have the conversations we've been having and see his growth gives me renewed hope for his future. Because of all of that he decided to not medicate Fred and instead help him get in touch with his inner snake. Accept his individuality as a positive. Learn to embrace each emotion and feeling
One side note .... oh look a butterfly..... oops I was going to say - I apologize it seems like I bullied people into only responding to my posts here. If responding on FB is preferable then please do so. Any and all feedback is helpful. Remember I'm a part time parrot head and a full time blithering idiot!
Thanks for listening y'all !
Xander was significantly better yesterday. I let him play Angry Birds in my phone for a few minutes while u say next to him. Electronics are an extremely rare treat for him. One minor problem occurred though. His old man crashed and nodded off while he played thus leaving him to play longer than scheduled ( I never set the timer either) an also missing his karate training. To say there was a bit of angst on his part would be an understatement . He fussed about missing training but as he screamed and cried I reverted to reflective listening and a time in while hugging him.
I apologized for not setting the timer. He explained he was really disappointed because we planned to walk to training, one of our special little adventures. Later on he was able to honestly state he was also upset about getting off the game. I know video games are not inherently bad. I also know that my sons precious busy mind with its neurons firing extremely rapidly has trouble readjusting to the static world of reality. I failed to have a back up or transition activity to replace the training.
I was impressed that during dinner he asked if we could have a father-son-son talk. Please note he calls his stuffed snake ,Fred ,his son. Seems Fred has been diagnosed with ADHD and Xander wanted some good parenting advice. So folks Fred, Xander and me commiserated over a meal Xander prepared. Brown rice with peas and Morning Star soy meat with a glass of soy milk Ovaltine.
It was a heartwarming conversation. ManCub first discussed what it's like living with his beautifully busy brain. I was able to explain that everything about his brain is what makes him so incredible! Distractable ? No not attention deficit because it's not a deficit , he can focus and solve problems but is a global thinker. He's expected to see one thing but sees the interconnectivity of life! Sure that means being a day dreamer like Albert Einstein and it also means he's reached a high level of Zen that others train years for and sometimes never obtain. Impulsive ? Great he's able to see and find new solution! He's a quirky and creative problem solver. Hyperactive ? He's an exuberant eight year old boy ready to explore the real world. He's not built for sitting at a desk all day, he's a man, albeit little man, of action.
He asked how I became a good father ( hush as long as he still believes that I ain't fighting it ) I told I've been called four things that I liked and choose to strive for, even meditate on. They are optimistic, positive, idealistic and resilient. I explained I've been called many negative things as well , heck idealistic is usually thrown at me as an insult but I reframe it in positive and resilient little mind. But I have a choice to make with every encounter. Do I accept the others persons view of me as gospel? Do I arrogantly deny their perspective ? Or do I glean the positives while respecting their view has having some value? I strive for option #3
Building my core is essential. Maintaining my core requires daily reflection and courage. Courage to follow my own moral compass and the courage to change course as I tack in the wind and navigate life changeable seas. I can remember struggling as a non conformist because I would , and still do, follow my personal moral compass. Perhaps it is the cause or the effect of my introverted personality. But I know I am slowly building my tribe. Those who either think like me or at least support and appreciate my otherwise thinking brain. My biological family is wonderful but I'm not sure they could ever grasp my quirky brain. I still struggle to fit into societal expectation and fail miserably with fiscal responsibilities. But that's a topic for a later blog.
Back to the discussion of our dinner dialog. Xander really slowed my brain and touched my heart by initiating the conversation and adding some sweet insight into his inner workings. Again this is a conversation we could not have had whilst he was medicated. He even said the seas of his mind have calmed enough to stop fighting his sails, that it's nice to relax and be able to think and feel. Again medicine works for many individuals. I feel I know his brain enough to help him train it and harness it's energy rather give his brain and body to a pharmaceutical company. Many will rightfully argue against me and I respect that. However to have the conversations we've been having and see his growth gives me renewed hope for his future. Because of all of that he decided to not medicate Fred and instead help him get in touch with his inner snake. Accept his individuality as a positive. Learn to embrace each emotion and feeling
One side note .... oh look a butterfly..... oops I was going to say - I apologize it seems like I bullied people into only responding to my posts here. If responding on FB is preferable then please do so. Any and all feedback is helpful. Remember I'm a part time parrot head and a full time blithering idiot!
Thanks for listening y'all !
Monday, July 16, 2012
ADHD and More: Stroop Test for ADHD
ADHD and More: Stroop Test for ADHD
Interesting ADHD blog I found. They take a decidedly more acedemic approach . Neurology is fascinating, probably one of the most fascinating subjects that is little understood.
Interesting ADHD blog I found. They take a decidedly more acedemic approach . Neurology is fascinating, probably one of the most fascinating subjects that is little understood.
Remember the future
Greetings y'all :
As y'all know I'm all about self-reflection . I am not perfect nor do I expect to be perfect but do expect improvement. Well a very dear friend of mine suggested , oh heck said, it's more like self flagellation. Wow , I never felt of that way but I respect her opinion and perspective. I suppose it's a fine line betwixt the two.
Yesterday Zander was wound up . Logical solution would be do one of our infamous multi-mile adventures. Let Mowgli and Spiffy reconnect with nature. That always seems to work. Well why should start be logical now ? The answer my friends is because it's better to follow my instincts. I failed to do that on Saturday and it cost me time ,money and energy. I failed to that again on Sunday and it cost me time, energy and my self respect .
Sadly this was a house of anger and not love. I met anger with anger. I fueled the fire. I'm not looking for folks to tell me it's ok, because it's not ok. I did not come along my progeny I stood toe to toe ( metaphorically not physically ). Granted it turned around during his bath . He said " daddy next time you wanna yell at me hug me instead. Yelling hurts my brain" We finished by snuggling and reading.
I am human and I am learning. He is already 67 lbs and almost 52 inches tall and eight years old but he is only 67lbs ~ 52" tall and eight years old. It's his first time growing up. I failed to embrace his quirky and exuberant nation. But today is a new day. Learn from the past, remember the future and stay in the present .
Thanks for listening .
As y'all know I'm all about self-reflection . I am not perfect nor do I expect to be perfect but do expect improvement. Well a very dear friend of mine suggested , oh heck said, it's more like self flagellation. Wow , I never felt of that way but I respect her opinion and perspective. I suppose it's a fine line betwixt the two.
Yesterday Zander was wound up . Logical solution would be do one of our infamous multi-mile adventures. Let Mowgli and Spiffy reconnect with nature. That always seems to work. Well why should start be logical now ? The answer my friends is because it's better to follow my instincts. I failed to do that on Saturday and it cost me time ,money and energy. I failed to that again on Sunday and it cost me time, energy and my self respect .
Sadly this was a house of anger and not love. I met anger with anger. I fueled the fire. I'm not looking for folks to tell me it's ok, because it's not ok. I did not come along my progeny I stood toe to toe ( metaphorically not physically ). Granted it turned around during his bath . He said " daddy next time you wanna yell at me hug me instead. Yelling hurts my brain" We finished by snuggling and reading.
I am human and I am learning. He is already 67 lbs and almost 52 inches tall and eight years old but he is only 67lbs ~ 52" tall and eight years old. It's his first time growing up. I failed to embrace his quirky and exuberant nation. But today is a new day. Learn from the past, remember the future and stay in the present .
Thanks for listening .
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Rubber band theory
Greetings y'all ;
Yet another unexpected Robinson Boy Adventure today. I was scheduled to finally have my foot looked at today. Needless to say my little terra molta woke up early and going 1,000 mph.
I was worn out by 7am. That is not a good thing. Anyway- the poor little guy got stung by two yellow jackets last week in little side effect . Well apparently his sinus issues this week stemmed from a reaction to the stings. I thought I'd gotten the the stingers out last week. Much to my chagrin I did not. He scratched them this morning and the area got swollen and turned red. Poor little nemo.
I did see the Dr. about my foot but at the same time he was seen for the stings. Just can't keep us apart can ya ? The Dr. prescribed liquid prednisone. I prefer natural remedies but the swelling seemed bad and I want my poor junior mint to heal. We ended up spending close to two hours calling pharmacies to get it filled . We finally found it and drove to get it.
Naturally when we picked it up , it wasn't covered by insurance. Such is my luck. Of course we opted for back roads home. Which can only mean one thing . Anyone care to guess ? Well if you said the the GPS on the phone locked up and the phone battery decided to die you were right. Alas we got see a different part of our region. It was rather interesting.
We made it toy humble our abode. Xander was finally ready for his medicine. He took and and then decided to vomit it out. He didn't like the flavor. So a medicine I didn't want him to take , that I spent hours tracking down, drove a long distance to get and paid money I didn't really have was in his body for three seconds. There in lie the metaphor for my day.
I was not very congenial to my wee bonnie aching lad. I literally spent from 6:00 to 22:00 trying to get five minutes to catch my breathe and quiet my mind. I wanted to be strong and tender with him instead I was weak and gruff. I blame myself for not getting up at 4:30 and doing my morning meditations. I thought I could sleep until 6:00. I was wrong.
I have a bad habit of stretching myself to the breaking point. Picture, if you will a rubber band, streeeeetch it as far as it can go . Now there are two choices pull it and it breaks or relieve the pressure and it returns to its shape, it's elasticity, it's functional usability.i allowed myself to fall into the trap of the former rather quiet my mind and follow the latter path.
I can give plenty of excuses why I continue to not fall into the latter. Bottom line - suffering stems from holding onto expectations. I was quite rigid in what I thought ought to occur. I was selfish and did not follow the cues of the universe. The universe and I both know I'm not designed to feel as though I'm important enough to put myself first. Folks in not neither bragging not fussing. I just know how the universe works for me.
So I fell asleep typing this last evening. I was feeling sorry for myself, let's face it I'm pretty much a mench. So today is brand new day to embrace my place but more importantly to embrace the joy and wonder of my child. To remember to put him first.
Sorry son, sorry universe.
Thanks for listening folks.
Yet another unexpected Robinson Boy Adventure today. I was scheduled to finally have my foot looked at today. Needless to say my little terra molta woke up early and going 1,000 mph.
I was worn out by 7am. That is not a good thing. Anyway- the poor little guy got stung by two yellow jackets last week in little side effect . Well apparently his sinus issues this week stemmed from a reaction to the stings. I thought I'd gotten the the stingers out last week. Much to my chagrin I did not. He scratched them this morning and the area got swollen and turned red. Poor little nemo.
I did see the Dr. about my foot but at the same time he was seen for the stings. Just can't keep us apart can ya ? The Dr. prescribed liquid prednisone. I prefer natural remedies but the swelling seemed bad and I want my poor junior mint to heal. We ended up spending close to two hours calling pharmacies to get it filled . We finally found it and drove to get it.
Naturally when we picked it up , it wasn't covered by insurance. Such is my luck. Of course we opted for back roads home. Which can only mean one thing . Anyone care to guess ? Well if you said the the GPS on the phone locked up and the phone battery decided to die you were right. Alas we got see a different part of our region. It was rather interesting.
We made it toy humble our abode. Xander was finally ready for his medicine. He took and and then decided to vomit it out. He didn't like the flavor. So a medicine I didn't want him to take , that I spent hours tracking down, drove a long distance to get and paid money I didn't really have was in his body for three seconds. There in lie the metaphor for my day.
I was not very congenial to my wee bonnie aching lad. I literally spent from 6:00 to 22:00 trying to get five minutes to catch my breathe and quiet my mind. I wanted to be strong and tender with him instead I was weak and gruff. I blame myself for not getting up at 4:30 and doing my morning meditations. I thought I could sleep until 6:00. I was wrong.
I have a bad habit of stretching myself to the breaking point. Picture, if you will a rubber band, streeeeetch it as far as it can go . Now there are two choices pull it and it breaks or relieve the pressure and it returns to its shape, it's elasticity, it's functional usability.i allowed myself to fall into the trap of the former rather quiet my mind and follow the latter path.
I can give plenty of excuses why I continue to not fall into the latter. Bottom line - suffering stems from holding onto expectations. I was quite rigid in what I thought ought to occur. I was selfish and did not follow the cues of the universe. The universe and I both know I'm not designed to feel as though I'm important enough to put myself first. Folks in not neither bragging not fussing. I just know how the universe works for me.
So I fell asleep typing this last evening. I was feeling sorry for myself, let's face it I'm pretty much a mench. So today is brand new day to embrace my place but more importantly to embrace the joy and wonder of my child. To remember to put him first.
Sorry son, sorry universe.
Thanks for listening folks.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
It's impossible to love your enemy
Greetings y'all ;
I witnessed my child make some good decision yesterday. Even when he got upset. Seems I neglected to tell his camp instructor something and he was upset about. He was upset for a very brief moment. I apologized and he said its ok my job is to listen to the instructors anyway. I felt that was worthy of letting him dress up as a cow for free Chik-Fil-A on cow appreciation day. I know , I know I spoil him.
After dinner we got in a quick swimming session while it rained lightly. It was rather relaxing and perchance a tad analogous for our week. Twasn't a bad week just seemed to continually drizzle on us as we swam upstream.
I'm actually grateful for the individual that voiced her opinion about Xander. Some folks have a negative outlook, it may work for them but it's not my style. I lean toward cock-eyed optimism and idealism. I try to find the good in folks and in situations. Admittedly I do plenty of face plants attempting that stunt. But I get back up and try again and again and again and....
I am grateful for my friends and those who view me and my progeny with a negative eye. All views are valid and I can learn from every one as Gallileo said " I never met a man so ignorant I couldn't learn something from him" .
You may be wondering why I shy away from using enemy and use those with a negative eye or those who oppose me instead. As H.H. Dalai Lama once said " to love your enemy is impossible because once you love them they are no longer your enemy" so it behooves us to love everyone and find the message they bring.
This brings us to the truth. Is the truth merely our perception of reality? Is the truth what others tell us only if it's what we wish to hear? Is the truth just the negatives we hear? Buddha taught us the middle way. I was once taught that the way we view ourselves is not always the way others view us. Both are valid viewpoints.
I'll leave y'all with one last pithy quote. A quote about truth from our good friend Antisthenes ....
"There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly."
Go forth and conquer yourselves today, seek and accept the truth from all sources.
Thanks for stopping by .
I witnessed my child make some good decision yesterday. Even when he got upset. Seems I neglected to tell his camp instructor something and he was upset about. He was upset for a very brief moment. I apologized and he said its ok my job is to listen to the instructors anyway. I felt that was worthy of letting him dress up as a cow for free Chik-Fil-A on cow appreciation day. I know , I know I spoil him.
After dinner we got in a quick swimming session while it rained lightly. It was rather relaxing and perchance a tad analogous for our week. Twasn't a bad week just seemed to continually drizzle on us as we swam upstream.
I'm actually grateful for the individual that voiced her opinion about Xander. Some folks have a negative outlook, it may work for them but it's not my style. I lean toward cock-eyed optimism and idealism. I try to find the good in folks and in situations. Admittedly I do plenty of face plants attempting that stunt. But I get back up and try again and again and again and....
I am grateful for my friends and those who view me and my progeny with a negative eye. All views are valid and I can learn from every one as Gallileo said " I never met a man so ignorant I couldn't learn something from him" .
You may be wondering why I shy away from using enemy and use those with a negative eye or those who oppose me instead. As H.H. Dalai Lama once said " to love your enemy is impossible because once you love them they are no longer your enemy" so it behooves us to love everyone and find the message they bring.
This brings us to the truth. Is the truth merely our perception of reality? Is the truth what others tell us only if it's what we wish to hear? Is the truth just the negatives we hear? Buddha taught us the middle way. I was once taught that the way we view ourselves is not always the way others view us. Both are valid viewpoints.
I'll leave y'all with one last pithy quote. A quote about truth from our good friend Antisthenes ....
"There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly."
Go forth and conquer yourselves today, seek and accept the truth from all sources.
Thanks for stopping by .
Each individual is valid.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Another sunrise
Greetings y'all ;
In spite of my busy mind the sun rose today. Blessed be the impermanence of life. Nothing is forever: neither pain nor glory. Each day offers us new hope, new challenges , new opportunities.
Life is suffering; the beauty lies in our interpretation and perception of what life gives us. Suffering can be debilitating if we embrace the woe is me attitude. Suffering can be that which brings joy and strength if we embrace the lessons to be learned. I can only control my choice, which hopefully is
more positive, optimistic and resilient than negative and daunting.
Don't get me wrong I am facing a substantial economic crisis and seem to have new and interesting challenges presented to me by my wonderfully quirky and exuberant progeny on a daily basis. I mean how cool is that? I get to focus my energies on a walking talking impressionistic piece of clay who is my little tape recorder waiting and wanting to be molded. Each day is as new and fresh to him as it is to me. I've got the advantage of life experience.
For those who know my background you know it's been a tumultuous life for me. I am lucky to be here with my heart open. Quite honestly 'twas a twisted path of hardship , bravery and a random History 101 assignment that led me to the quiet mind of letting go through Buddhism. A random book from the library led to greater understanding of interconnectivity. Then a random conversation with a friend led me to Friends. Which brings us back home to the enormous joy I find at every sunrise and every day my son rises.
The universe gives us 86,400 seconds every day. Think about that for a moment. So your stuck in traffic for awhile- how many seconds is that to meditate? How many more seconds do you still have ? So its a bad few minutes at work or with an interpersonal relationship - how many more seconds do you have left? So you made a mistake , you hurt someone- take 300 of your seconds and make amends genuinely. Take 300 seconds to breathe deeply, to let go. So how many seconds are left ? 86,400 seconds filled with second chances.
Happy sunrise- embrace the day.
Thanks for listening !
In spite of my busy mind the sun rose today. Blessed be the impermanence of life. Nothing is forever: neither pain nor glory. Each day offers us new hope, new challenges , new opportunities.
Life is suffering; the beauty lies in our interpretation and perception of what life gives us. Suffering can be debilitating if we embrace the woe is me attitude. Suffering can be that which brings joy and strength if we embrace the lessons to be learned. I can only control my choice, which hopefully is
more positive, optimistic and resilient than negative and daunting.
Don't get me wrong I am facing a substantial economic crisis and seem to have new and interesting challenges presented to me by my wonderfully quirky and exuberant progeny on a daily basis. I mean how cool is that? I get to focus my energies on a walking talking impressionistic piece of clay who is my little tape recorder waiting and wanting to be molded. Each day is as new and fresh to him as it is to me. I've got the advantage of life experience.
For those who know my background you know it's been a tumultuous life for me. I am lucky to be here with my heart open. Quite honestly 'twas a twisted path of hardship , bravery and a random History 101 assignment that led me to the quiet mind of letting go through Buddhism. A random book from the library led to greater understanding of interconnectivity. Then a random conversation with a friend led me to Friends. Which brings us back home to the enormous joy I find at every sunrise and every day my son rises.
The universe gives us 86,400 seconds every day. Think about that for a moment. So your stuck in traffic for awhile- how many seconds is that to meditate? How many more seconds do you still have ? So its a bad few minutes at work or with an interpersonal relationship - how many more seconds do you have left? So you made a mistake , you hurt someone- take 300 of your seconds and make amends genuinely. Take 300 seconds to breathe deeply, to let go. So how many seconds are left ? 86,400 seconds filled with second chances.
Happy sunrise- embrace the day.
Thanks for listening !
Thursday, July 12, 2012
My Sol Invectus in hiding
Greetings y'all :
This here is one of them rare second blogs du jour. It's been an interesting day folks. I blame myself for speaking ill of another person thus sending negativity out which of course equates to negativity coming back. Yes I believe in emotional boomerang. Well maybe not emotional per se - but what you do comes back to you.
So today was a bit rocky at work and my sol Invectus chose not to follow my advice. In fact he broke his promise to me. He's eight and is still learning but his choice of activities during club time once again lead to a fabulous disaster. After speaking with his counselor he will no longer have those options available to him. When he heard the counselor and I discuss this he became fretful. As we returned to my classroom to process the day he chose to walk away and hide. It took a twenty minute man hunt to locate my little rascal.
He was safe but thought he was in trouble, didn't like the consequences of today's choices and wanted time alone to think. Ok all three are valid an understandable, but hiding in that scenario is not. I cried while we looked for him. I wasn't angry at him.
Once we arrived home we opted for a quiet and relaxing evening. Well apparently my emotions were just under the surface because I found myself yelling at him for something trivial. We calmed down and talked out our feelings. It took a few time - ins, music therapy , meditation, and a few other things from my limited bag-o-tricks.
I should not have gotten upset. His little brain is hurting already enough to go hide. I feel horrible. I need to be a better model.
This here is one of them rare second blogs du jour. It's been an interesting day folks. I blame myself for speaking ill of another person thus sending negativity out which of course equates to negativity coming back. Yes I believe in emotional boomerang. Well maybe not emotional per se - but what you do comes back to you.
So today was a bit rocky at work and my sol Invectus chose not to follow my advice. In fact he broke his promise to me. He's eight and is still learning but his choice of activities during club time once again lead to a fabulous disaster. After speaking with his counselor he will no longer have those options available to him. When he heard the counselor and I discuss this he became fretful. As we returned to my classroom to process the day he chose to walk away and hide. It took a twenty minute man hunt to locate my little rascal.
He was safe but thought he was in trouble, didn't like the consequences of today's choices and wanted time alone to think. Ok all three are valid an understandable, but hiding in that scenario is not. I cried while we looked for him. I wasn't angry at him.
Once we arrived home we opted for a quiet and relaxing evening. Well apparently my emotions were just under the surface because I found myself yelling at him for something trivial. We calmed down and talked out our feelings. It took a few time - ins, music therapy , meditation, and a few other things from my limited bag-o-tricks.
I should not have gotten upset. His little brain is hurting already enough to go hide. I feel horrible. I need to be a better model.
Judgement Day
Greetings y'all :
Does anyone else feel embarrassed when our children act up or make bad choices? If so are you embarrassed for the child or because you think folks judge you as a parent ? My quirky and exuberant child is great but not always good. He's an eight year old boy who is learning and growing and striving and thriving. He'll hold the door for folks and help wee ones . He's also incredibly competitive, loathes losing , and can rather mean if he loses. I am not proud of the latter . We are working on the latter.
Anyone who knows me knows that as a child I was fiercely competitive . I was a fiery opponent. But I'm an old man now and many years of experience to draw upon, Mowgli does not. Yesterday he said some rather mean and hurtful things to a very sweet friend who happened to be on the team that beat him. He echoed things said to him by others, things that hurt him. It saddened me to hear him repeat something that caused him pain in an attempt to hurt a little friend. So the question is why would he say what he said and how do we rectify the situation?
We talked about how to talk to people . We discussed how to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser . To travel the middle path. But we've had these discussions ad nauseum. He apologized to the young lady and has written her an apology letter as well. FYI - he hate writing. But I am open to other ideas as well. Please let me know what works for y'all , thanks.
Time for part two of today's journal/blog. Back to how others view us as parents based on our children's behaviors. Yesterday while I was gathering my students for their bus in a very loud and chaotic room I was approached my a fellow staff member who said " I had no idea you have a bad kid. He's really bad and doesn't listen to anyone" Meanwhile I have a table full of E.D. , ADHD , ADD children I'm trying to keep focused while we wait for two stragglers . Ok my kid ain't perfect but is now the time to insult him? When I have eight jumping beans anxious to go home as we wait for two more. Was I angry with staff member - you betcha! Did I yell at her - nope! I told her not to call my child bad and please explain why happened . She explained and I told I would address it. I guess my question is if a person trained to work special education calls Mowgli a bad child because he refused to follow directions then what does the general population think ? Mostly what I hear is - he's funny, bright , verbose, articulate, energetic, witty, smart, cute, handsome, confident, eager, independent, etc... He's grown considerably but is competitive and some of those positives can be viewed and manifested as oppositional.
Either way those words " you have a bad child stung" Maybe I'm odd ( insert your insult here ) but I felt sorry for person. She must have had a very bad day and been in much pain to declare a child bad, considering we work in a special needs camp. Especially since she's had several positive interactions with man cub prior to one negative interaction. How much pain was she in to travel through the school , in the opposite direction of her car at dismissal time to find me to throw barbs at me? Poor woman, I hope she finds peace today. Yes Xander and I talked about listening to adults and not climbing up on the thing , even if others do it and the staff generally ignores it. Disrespect is not an option. He will apologize to her today as well.
Believe it or not he actually a good day yesterday. A couple of moments of angst regarding competition and the negative interaction while waiting for me to get him.He has grown so much and processes so much quicker now. We still have much to learn. I love my Junior Mint!
We shall continue or reflective listening and reinforce the Golden Rule.
Once I don't know, but I'm open to feedback and ideas.
Thanks
Does anyone else feel embarrassed when our children act up or make bad choices? If so are you embarrassed for the child or because you think folks judge you as a parent ? My quirky and exuberant child is great but not always good. He's an eight year old boy who is learning and growing and striving and thriving. He'll hold the door for folks and help wee ones . He's also incredibly competitive, loathes losing , and can rather mean if he loses. I am not proud of the latter . We are working on the latter.
Anyone who knows me knows that as a child I was fiercely competitive . I was a fiery opponent. But I'm an old man now and many years of experience to draw upon, Mowgli does not. Yesterday he said some rather mean and hurtful things to a very sweet friend who happened to be on the team that beat him. He echoed things said to him by others, things that hurt him. It saddened me to hear him repeat something that caused him pain in an attempt to hurt a little friend. So the question is why would he say what he said and how do we rectify the situation?
We talked about how to talk to people . We discussed how to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser . To travel the middle path. But we've had these discussions ad nauseum. He apologized to the young lady and has written her an apology letter as well. FYI - he hate writing. But I am open to other ideas as well. Please let me know what works for y'all , thanks.
Time for part two of today's journal/blog. Back to how others view us as parents based on our children's behaviors. Yesterday while I was gathering my students for their bus in a very loud and chaotic room I was approached my a fellow staff member who said " I had no idea you have a bad kid. He's really bad and doesn't listen to anyone" Meanwhile I have a table full of E.D. , ADHD , ADD children I'm trying to keep focused while we wait for two stragglers . Ok my kid ain't perfect but is now the time to insult him? When I have eight jumping beans anxious to go home as we wait for two more. Was I angry with staff member - you betcha! Did I yell at her - nope! I told her not to call my child bad and please explain why happened . She explained and I told I would address it. I guess my question is if a person trained to work special education calls Mowgli a bad child because he refused to follow directions then what does the general population think ? Mostly what I hear is - he's funny, bright , verbose, articulate, energetic, witty, smart, cute, handsome, confident, eager, independent, etc... He's grown considerably but is competitive and some of those positives can be viewed and manifested as oppositional.
Either way those words " you have a bad child stung" Maybe I'm odd ( insert your insult here ) but I felt sorry for person. She must have had a very bad day and been in much pain to declare a child bad, considering we work in a special needs camp. Especially since she's had several positive interactions with man cub prior to one negative interaction. How much pain was she in to travel through the school , in the opposite direction of her car at dismissal time to find me to throw barbs at me? Poor woman, I hope she finds peace today. Yes Xander and I talked about listening to adults and not climbing up on the thing , even if others do it and the staff generally ignores it. Disrespect is not an option. He will apologize to her today as well.
Believe it or not he actually a good day yesterday. A couple of moments of angst regarding competition and the negative interaction while waiting for me to get him.He has grown so much and processes so much quicker now. We still have much to learn. I love my Junior Mint!
We shall continue or reflective listening and reinforce the Golden Rule.
Once I don't know, but I'm open to feedback and ideas.
Thanks
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