Follow your moral compass

Greetings y'all :

Xander was significantly better yesterday. I let him play Angry Birds in my phone for a few minutes while u say next to him. Electronics are an extremely rare treat for him. One minor problem occurred though. His old man crashed and nodded off while he played thus leaving him to play longer than scheduled ( I never set the timer either) an also missing his karate training. To say there was a bit of angst on his part would be an understatement . He fussed about missing training but as he screamed and cried I reverted to reflective listening and a time in while hugging him.

I apologized for not setting the timer. He explained he was really disappointed because we planned to walk to training, one of our special little adventures. Later on he was able to honestly state he was also upset about getting off the game. I know video games are not inherently bad. I also know that my sons precious busy mind with its neurons firing extremely rapidly has trouble readjusting to the static world of reality. I failed to have a back up or transition activity to replace the training.

I was impressed that during dinner he asked if we could have a father-son-son talk. Please note he calls his stuffed snake ,Fred ,his son. Seems Fred has been diagnosed with ADHD and Xander wanted some good parenting advice. So folks Fred, Xander and me commiserated over a meal Xander prepared. Brown rice with peas and Morning Star soy meat with a glass of soy milk Ovaltine.

It was a heartwarming conversation. ManCub first discussed what it's like living with his beautifully busy brain. I was able to explain that everything about his brain is what makes him so incredible! Distractable ? No not attention deficit because it's not a deficit , he can focus and solve problems but is a global thinker. He's expected to see one thing but sees the interconnectivity of life! Sure that means being a day dreamer like Albert Einstein and it also means he's reached a high level of Zen that others train years for and sometimes never obtain. Impulsive ? Great he's able to see and find new solution! He's a quirky and creative problem solver. Hyperactive ? He's an exuberant eight year old boy ready to explore the real world. He's not built for sitting at a desk all day, he's a man, albeit little man, of action.

He asked how I became a good father ( hush as long as he still believes that I ain't fighting it ) I told I've been called four things that I liked and choose to strive for, even meditate on. They are optimistic, positive, idealistic and resilient. I explained I've been called many negative things as well , heck idealistic is usually thrown at me as an insult but I reframe it in positive and resilient little mind. But I have a choice to make with every encounter. Do I accept the others persons view of me as gospel? Do I arrogantly deny their perspective ? Or do I glean the positives while respecting their view has having some value? I strive for option #3

Building my core is essential. Maintaining my core requires daily reflection and courage. Courage to follow my own moral compass and the courage to change course as I tack in the wind and navigate life changeable seas. I can remember struggling as a non conformist because I would , and still do, follow my personal moral compass. Perhaps it is the cause or the effect of my introverted personality. But I know I am slowly building my tribe. Those who either think like me or at least support and appreciate my otherwise thinking brain. My biological family is wonderful but I'm not sure they could ever grasp my quirky brain. I still struggle to fit into societal expectation and fail miserably with fiscal responsibilities. But that's a topic for a later blog.

Back to the discussion of our dinner dialog. Xander really slowed my brain and touched my heart by initiating the conversation and adding some sweet insight into his inner workings. Again this is a conversation we could not have had whilst he was medicated. He even said the seas of his mind have calmed enough to stop fighting his sails, that it's nice to relax and be able to think and feel. Again medicine works for many individuals. I feel I know his brain enough to help him train it and harness it's energy rather give his brain and body to a pharmaceutical company. Many will rightfully argue against me and I respect that. However to have the conversations we've been having and see his growth gives me renewed hope for his future. Because of all of that he decided to not medicate Fred and instead help him get in touch with his inner snake. Accept his individuality as a positive. Learn to embrace each emotion and feeling

One side note .... oh look a butterfly..... oops I was going to say - I apologize it seems like I bullied people into only responding to my posts here. If responding on FB is preferable then please do so. Any and all feedback is helpful. Remember I'm a part time parrot head and a full time blithering idiot!

Thanks for listening y'all !