Riparian Adventure

Greetings y'all: OK I admit it - I'm weak. I want to spend more time with man cub. I know, I know , camp will do him good and I should have some respite. But I really enjoy being with him. He had a very rough year but has come a long way since going off meds. He listens much better and is just a quirky and exuberant eight year old boy who lives to explore. My brother rightly called him an intrepid explorer when Zander was still in swaddling clothes. Yesterday was more proof of the accuracy of that label. He led us on a five mile seven hour journey down a meandering stream and through the woods. Twas in his habitat. We saw hundreds if minnows, some trout and what seemed like a million crayfish! Naturally he caught several with a net and a few crayfish by hand. I watched him navigate obstacles with great forethought and persitance. He knew when we arrived to deep swimming holes to let me swim in, dive down and ensure its safe passage. Then we could both frolic in the cool water. He lithely led us over fallen trees traversing them and knew when it was appropriate to portage around obstacles. We both laughed hard enough to hurt our sides when we swam through a swimming hole and he had several crayfish dart by his face and I had one back up onto and almost into my nose. We had a hawk land about ten feet from us and scream at us as we started our expedition. Not sure if he was confused by the rare sighting of a pair goggle eyed bipdal ambulants or that we were swimming with dozens of nice sized live sushi and he was ready for Sunday brunch at the Crayfish Creek Buffet. These are memories you can't buy or find on the Internet or on the magic talking moving picture box. It's days like that give me pause. Mowgli was magnificent but unfortunately I snapped at him near the end. He's come so far and I'm stuck in the past. Ya see folks I'm a single father, I know big fat hairy deal, who truly has. I have no idea how to parent a child and I'm afraid the moments are slipping away. It's easy to get caught up in issues but can I focus on the positives. I once read " you can't parent the child you want you have to parent the child you have " I don't know I just know I'm happy with the boy who snuggles with me nightly, still seeks my guidance and approval, watches my every move and emulates me. The onus is on me to behave in a manner worth modeling. Most days I question my success at that. Therein lies the rub. I find self reflection and meditation to be helpful and beneficial but it ought to result in positive change and self esteem. It does my progeny no good if I see my mistakes as an opportunity for self loathing. Hopefully he sees his pop demonstrate adaptability, problem solving with out overt stress and humanity. He sees me apologize for my mistakes and calmly forgive others. Seven billion folks on this third rock from the sun. We are all valid and valuable sentient beings and individuals. Thanks for the visit , come again anytime.