The joy of being in Love

Greetings y'all :

Aww the start of a new school year. Every year we are offered fresh beginnings, tis grand. Life is rife with new chances. Continue to slog forward, fly forward, meander forward etc... just keep moving. The best way, in my humble opinion, is to stay present. We can't alter the past, only learn from it!. The future will take care of itself, no use being anxious about that which you can not control. With all that said I sure am gonna miss spending all day with my man cub. I'd love to have the money to home school but alas I must work.

I was blessed with a low stress day with my little man and with talking to several friends. One who is going through things that would stop a mere mortal , another I hadn't talked to in months, and others who know how to handle life gracefully and not so gracefully but never quit. After years of isolation having that friendship base is humbling.

I am fortunate that this year I know my assignment, I know the teacher I'm working with and I know the students. I understand my role and am fortunate. In previous years I'd known my students or assignment but not both. I tell ya I'm on a great team, and is humbling starting the year on it. However, I wish I had a few more weeks to get Junior Mint prepped for third grade. He's come a long way this summer. As excited and comfortable as I am with my assignment I'm that nervous for him. The bonus is that we are back in the same school again after a terribly stressful year apart.

I have to believe his new teacher in his new school will finally be a good match. I know the teachers are wonderful and have to trust this will be a good fit. As he said " daddy I just need to try my best but my mistakes are mine. You don't get credit for them, I own them" We revisited the summer and the chain of events. Actions and reactions. Cause and effect. That daddy is not daddy until after the bell rings . That daddy will not defend poor choices but will defend inequalities. He's an otherwise thinker with a ton on his mind. But since he's been med free I've seen him smile and laugh more, listen and talk (re: feelings and thoughts )more , do things without being told and the reward he seeks is my approval! He's even taken giant leaps forward regarding self control self regulation, and acceptance of life. He reminded me " oh we'll I still have like two million more seconds and moments today"

I believe in my son because I believe in our relationship. Yesterday was my last day of summer break. That is usually a day of ennui and stress. Instead it was a day of snuggles and giggles and playing and swimming. Yes it was 73 and rainy , so of course we went swimming. I can not stop the hands of time. Ugh I loathe clocks , but that's another blog for another day. By golly I will treasure each nano second with my amazing son but will not stand in his way of making his own mark on the world. Heck he's ready planning on being in the 2020 summer Olympic Games! Then the 2024, 2028,2032 .... Who am I to block his dreams ? I may have to initiate a PayPal or online donation to Zander's Olympic dream . He chosen Meadowbrook for his swim team.... I'm trying to stay a step ahead of the basic bills. But I will do whatever it takes to set him up for success in whatever he chooses, where ever his path leads him,I'll be there.

Just as the sun rises each day to wash away the darkness we must rise, face and embrace each new moment of each new day. So I can choose to focus on not having all day with my little buddy until the weekend or I can be thankful for the moments we've had and look forward to more. I will opt for the latter. I keep harping on it , and refuse to apologize , but I love, admire, adore, like and am in love with my son. When he was born I fell in love with him, I had know idea that feeling could grow in spite of our ups and our oops. He is my angel sent from heaven but holding my hand on this earthly realm.

Thanks for reading again today folks !