Greetings y'all :
Well folks Junior Mint seems to have recovered from tummy issues. I still contend eating mozzarella dippers with marinara sauce and mashed tater and gravy chaser wasn't his brightest dinning choice. But he's been fever free and is ready to get his learning on. He was actually upset he missed time from school. Atta boy ! I think he may tired of eating soup too.
It's been an interesting couple of days since we last got together folks. OK so that's not unusual. My life, as least to me, at it's most boring is still interesting. Remember we are the Quirky and Exuberant Robinson Boys! Life at home has been blissfully smooth and cooperative. I an reminded daily how blessed I am to have Junior Mint in my life. To wake up to his smiling face and fall asleep with him nestled in my arms is pure heaven on earth.
At work I find deeper and greater appreciation for the myriad of skills of my co-workers. I've been reminded how they are able to teach not just academics but also social and life skills to our future. Yes I may be naive but I try to see the best in people and view the students as my teachers and our future. Children have a lot to say but sometimes very little voice. They want to be heard and validated but often speak in ways we don't hear or understand. Stop and listen , stop and observe. What are they really saying ? Not what do we want them to say or feel but what us in their hearts and minds. Sometimes we must listen with our eyes, ears, hearts, and mind clear an wide open without judging.
Ok folks it's almost 2:15 am here , I've been up since the witching hour with busy brain syndrome. Have a wonderful and please remember to stop and listen today.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Random Fun
Greetings y'all :
It's been a fun couple of days since last we commiserated. Friday was a day off for students but Junior Mint came in with me. We had to pop out to run an errand and decided to grab a pair of pizzas at Little Caesars on the way back to work. We entered a dark building, power was obviously out. My little man sherpa'd the pizzas to my classroom. He then went back through the hall inviting everyone to his party.
It was pretty cool. His teachers and counselor, and other staff joined us. It was nice having a friendly organic gathering of folk. We all interacted on a human level . I think some walls came down. Ironically it reminded me of the old days when the neighborhood knew where to go in case of loss of power. The adults would gather on our side porch and the kids would congregate in my room. I also learned my son is a good little host. He got anxious with all the people around but was in his element, surrounded by adults. The lad really is more comfortable with grown folk, they can match his experiences and interests and are more patient and understanding.
Saturday we ventured down to the Walters Art Gallery for the Family Rennasaince Festival. Good times I tell you ! They had a multitude of crafts relating to period people. Such as make your own telescope ( Gallileo) . Naturally Junior Mint announced his was for the meteor shower that night. Some how we ran into DaVinci, Gallileo ,saw period dancers, heard period singers, stopped at most of the stations and saw most of the permanent collection. At one of the stations the volunteer asked if we came for the Festival or lived in the area. Junior Mint replied non-chalantly "We're the Robinsons, we just do random fun things" One of life's simple pleasures is allowing children to answer questions from others with out editing their answers. I couldn't have argued with his response anyway. Our belly buttons were touching our back bones so we followed a friends advice and grabbed two huge slices at "Never on a Sunday" on our way to the metro.
The last two weeks I've been exhausted and in desperate need of "I" time. We were chaffing against each other and stayed inside. Hmm imagine water molecules trapped inside a container that is being heated. The molecules rub together rather fiercely,which of course leads to boiling. Imagine those same molecules given a release and the heat turned down. We are left with flowing water able to move freely.
Ok back to yesterday. We decided to push through the evening and stay up for the meteor shower. My first instinct was to drive north and get out of the lights and into the country. I followed my ADD mind and last minute thought to drive to a pull over near Soldiers Delight. We saw a magnificent moon set then faced east to watch Orion and the scattered meteor showers. Twas a chilly evening so we had blankets and were bundled up. We spied a few , roughly thirty between us, meteors. Junior Mint decided to bury himself in the blanket. Poor chilly man cub . I told him we would go home at midnight. He fell asleep and I enjoyed the showers and the quiet of nature. Blissful I tell you. Midnight came and I tried to rouse my little man. No dice. I had just put our things away and was about to get out the car to physically pick up man cub and put him in his car seat but was interrupted by bright lights, flashing lights and a man in a uniform carrying a badge and a side arm. Sure it's all fun and games until the police arrive. He was inquisitive as to why I sitting in the car. I said we are watching the meteor showers. He looked in the car and only saw me. I removed the blanket and said " it's my eight year old son, I told him we'd leave at midnight." The officer laughed and said " it's 12:10 and technically you're trespassing, park closes at sunset. I D please " I apologized. He came back complimenting my car and parenting but suggested twas time to move on. I concurred. We exchanged some pleasantries. After securing my lad in his seat we drove off. On the way home I managed to miss a key turn and went a tad out of our way. I don't get lost , I am just not always where I think I should be.
Our life is still far from perfect. We've celebrated our one year here after a tumultuous move last year. The wolf is camped comfortably at our door and still howling. We have love though. The last two weeks were difficult but we are learning and growing. It's a vicious cycle - the events set the mood while the mood sets the events. Yesterday was a good day - I'll take it.
Thanks for reading again today folks.
It's been a fun couple of days since last we commiserated. Friday was a day off for students but Junior Mint came in with me. We had to pop out to run an errand and decided to grab a pair of pizzas at Little Caesars on the way back to work. We entered a dark building, power was obviously out. My little man sherpa'd the pizzas to my classroom. He then went back through the hall inviting everyone to his party.
It was pretty cool. His teachers and counselor, and other staff joined us. It was nice having a friendly organic gathering of folk. We all interacted on a human level . I think some walls came down. Ironically it reminded me of the old days when the neighborhood knew where to go in case of loss of power. The adults would gather on our side porch and the kids would congregate in my room. I also learned my son is a good little host. He got anxious with all the people around but was in his element, surrounded by adults. The lad really is more comfortable with grown folk, they can match his experiences and interests and are more patient and understanding.
Saturday we ventured down to the Walters Art Gallery for the Family Rennasaince Festival. Good times I tell you ! They had a multitude of crafts relating to period people. Such as make your own telescope ( Gallileo) . Naturally Junior Mint announced his was for the meteor shower that night. Some how we ran into DaVinci, Gallileo ,saw period dancers, heard period singers, stopped at most of the stations and saw most of the permanent collection. At one of the stations the volunteer asked if we came for the Festival or lived in the area. Junior Mint replied non-chalantly "We're the Robinsons, we just do random fun things" One of life's simple pleasures is allowing children to answer questions from others with out editing their answers. I couldn't have argued with his response anyway. Our belly buttons were touching our back bones so we followed a friends advice and grabbed two huge slices at "Never on a Sunday" on our way to the metro.
The last two weeks I've been exhausted and in desperate need of "I" time. We were chaffing against each other and stayed inside. Hmm imagine water molecules trapped inside a container that is being heated. The molecules rub together rather fiercely,which of course leads to boiling. Imagine those same molecules given a release and the heat turned down. We are left with flowing water able to move freely.
Ok back to yesterday. We decided to push through the evening and stay up for the meteor shower. My first instinct was to drive north and get out of the lights and into the country. I followed my ADD mind and last minute thought to drive to a pull over near Soldiers Delight. We saw a magnificent moon set then faced east to watch Orion and the scattered meteor showers. Twas a chilly evening so we had blankets and were bundled up. We spied a few , roughly thirty between us, meteors. Junior Mint decided to bury himself in the blanket. Poor chilly man cub . I told him we would go home at midnight. He fell asleep and I enjoyed the showers and the quiet of nature. Blissful I tell you. Midnight came and I tried to rouse my little man. No dice. I had just put our things away and was about to get out the car to physically pick up man cub and put him in his car seat but was interrupted by bright lights, flashing lights and a man in a uniform carrying a badge and a side arm. Sure it's all fun and games until the police arrive. He was inquisitive as to why I sitting in the car. I said we are watching the meteor showers. He looked in the car and only saw me. I removed the blanket and said " it's my eight year old son, I told him we'd leave at midnight." The officer laughed and said " it's 12:10 and technically you're trespassing, park closes at sunset. I D please " I apologized. He came back complimenting my car and parenting but suggested twas time to move on. I concurred. We exchanged some pleasantries. After securing my lad in his seat we drove off. On the way home I managed to miss a key turn and went a tad out of our way. I don't get lost , I am just not always where I think I should be.
Our life is still far from perfect. We've celebrated our one year here after a tumultuous move last year. The wolf is camped comfortably at our door and still howling. We have love though. The last two weeks were difficult but we are learning and growing. It's a vicious cycle - the events set the mood while the mood sets the events. Yesterday was a good day - I'll take it.
Thanks for reading again today folks.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Mowgli the Mathlete!
Greetings y'all ;
Happy Friday everyone ! Not sure where to begin. Yesterday started off like any other day. A minor hiccup in the morning as we prepared for school but just another day. As usual the universe felt we could use a change. Fortunately we are the Robinson Boys and are somewhat flexible.
Ok quick background knowledge for ya. Zander's school participates in the First in Math program, which involves solving mathematic problems online. Students earn virtual stickers for correct answers. Hmmm we've no computer at home so it seems we're at a slight disadvantage. It seemed to be a dilemma because Junior Mint likes challenges and enjoys showing off his brain. We made a deal he could use my computer after school if he behaved in school. He bought into it. I mean he went all in!
He was the first in his class to reach 500 stickers! He's trying to work his way into the top twenty for his school, top ten for his grade and top hundred for his grade across the county. Quite a noble goal for a lad lacking a computer at home. The most humbling part is the way his teacher and classmates celebrated his success!
He received a 500 sticker certificate and got to wear a number 1 in Math lanyard. The teacher surprised me by having Zander hide in my room and jump out to show me his rewards! The teacher also gave me a star that stated he had a perfect morning! Turns out he had a perfect day! I wonder if there is a correlation between showering praise on him for his academic acumen and improve behavior. I was so grateful they saw his brilliance !
Each day is new day , we can hope for the best and learn. I wasn't trying to brag about my young man but you know the weeks we've had so we needed yesterday. I'm proud of Mowgli the Mathlete !
Thanks for reading again today.
Happy Friday everyone ! Not sure where to begin. Yesterday started off like any other day. A minor hiccup in the morning as we prepared for school but just another day. As usual the universe felt we could use a change. Fortunately we are the Robinson Boys and are somewhat flexible.
Ok quick background knowledge for ya. Zander's school participates in the First in Math program, which involves solving mathematic problems online. Students earn virtual stickers for correct answers. Hmmm we've no computer at home so it seems we're at a slight disadvantage. It seemed to be a dilemma because Junior Mint likes challenges and enjoys showing off his brain. We made a deal he could use my computer after school if he behaved in school. He bought into it. I mean he went all in!
He was the first in his class to reach 500 stickers! He's trying to work his way into the top twenty for his school, top ten for his grade and top hundred for his grade across the county. Quite a noble goal for a lad lacking a computer at home. The most humbling part is the way his teacher and classmates celebrated his success!
He received a 500 sticker certificate and got to wear a number 1 in Math lanyard. The teacher surprised me by having Zander hide in my room and jump out to show me his rewards! The teacher also gave me a star that stated he had a perfect morning! Turns out he had a perfect day! I wonder if there is a correlation between showering praise on him for his academic acumen and improve behavior. I was so grateful they saw his brilliance !
Each day is new day , we can hope for the best and learn. I wasn't trying to brag about my young man but you know the weeks we've had so we needed yesterday. I'm proud of Mowgli the Mathlete !
Thanks for reading again today.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Dinner jump up
Greetings y'all:
It's tech free Thursday so I'll be quick today.
We walked to school again yesterday , great exercise , more bonding , and increased and relaxed conversation. On the way in Junior Mint " said we're all imperfect people in an imperfect world" . We both went on to face good days. I think he's being more respectful , now if we can just let him be an eight year old he'll be even better.
With the program he's in there is considerable micro-management. That has its good points but ADHD (quirky and exuberant) and oppositional (self reliant ) children chafe at that. Firm rules and gentle reminder work wonders for kids , not firm rules and constant punishment. I've done good work with these kids and worse kids. Each child wants to be valid and it's amazing how well non verbal cues work. Something as a smile and shake of the head or thumbs up. But micro-managing will lead to a tug of war. Every loses then.
So after a successful day at school/ work we walked to his therapist. We discussed his anger over the weekend and think its a combination of the aforementioned micro-management , learned behavior at school and the part that helped his bubbling magma of emotion to erupt was he was stressed he was going to see his mom. He'd forgotten that he had asked to cancel the visit. But we all pieced it together. Do his IA at school reminds him of his mom regarding demeanor and looks and he's been chaffing and projecting.
Can't we let him be eight ? Can't we let his mind calm instead of demanding it? I get that he's angry and is imperfect but so are adults. He's struggling to be a kid why should he be the grown up.
After therapy we walked back to work for the juggling club. After waiting and hour and a half we discovered club is canceled until further notice while the school gets some work done to it. Ok at least junior mint got on his first in math page and did over two hours of math , for fun. We finally walked home after that.
After a nice fourteen hour day Zander decided to fix dinner jump up. Obstenibly its when you jump up and fix your own dinner. Last night he decided to jump up and grab stuff from the fridge. We enjoyed a lovely repast of apple crisp,broccoli , red grapes , cheese and carrots. Best food I'd had in ages.
Ok gotta go get this here brand new day started and see what surprises the universe has in store for us. Thanks for reading again today folks.
It's tech free Thursday so I'll be quick today.
We walked to school again yesterday , great exercise , more bonding , and increased and relaxed conversation. On the way in Junior Mint " said we're all imperfect people in an imperfect world" . We both went on to face good days. I think he's being more respectful , now if we can just let him be an eight year old he'll be even better.
With the program he's in there is considerable micro-management. That has its good points but ADHD (quirky and exuberant) and oppositional (self reliant ) children chafe at that. Firm rules and gentle reminder work wonders for kids , not firm rules and constant punishment. I've done good work with these kids and worse kids. Each child wants to be valid and it's amazing how well non verbal cues work. Something as a smile and shake of the head or thumbs up. But micro-managing will lead to a tug of war. Every loses then.
So after a successful day at school/ work we walked to his therapist. We discussed his anger over the weekend and think its a combination of the aforementioned micro-management , learned behavior at school and the part that helped his bubbling magma of emotion to erupt was he was stressed he was going to see his mom. He'd forgotten that he had asked to cancel the visit. But we all pieced it together. Do his IA at school reminds him of his mom regarding demeanor and looks and he's been chaffing and projecting.
Can't we let him be eight ? Can't we let his mind calm instead of demanding it? I get that he's angry and is imperfect but so are adults. He's struggling to be a kid why should he be the grown up.
After therapy we walked back to work for the juggling club. After waiting and hour and a half we discovered club is canceled until further notice while the school gets some work done to it. Ok at least junior mint got on his first in math page and did over two hours of math , for fun. We finally walked home after that.
After a nice fourteen hour day Zander decided to fix dinner jump up. Obstenibly its when you jump up and fix your own dinner. Last night he decided to jump up and grab stuff from the fridge. We enjoyed a lovely repast of apple crisp,broccoli , red grapes , cheese and carrots. Best food I'd had in ages.
Ok gotta go get this here brand new day started and see what surprises the universe has in store for us. Thanks for reading again today folks.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
A penthouse in the basement
Greetings y'all :
Ok folk we hit the wall last night , figuratively speaking . I'll admit I accelerated it slightly but sometimes ya gotta crash and burn and find that moment when only complete sobbing will help . Gotta hit the bottom to find the way out.
Does that mean life is perfect ? Uhm last I checked I live in reality and not a Disney movie so no life is not perfect but we are working hard. Many tears were shed last night. We gained som good insights as well. My little heart breaks for my big boy. He's learning to face adversity, a skill lost on many.
Today he woke up and his first words were "I Love you daddy , go back to sleep for a few minutes. You deserve it" Brilliant !! I figured he deserved pancakes after that. We also chose to walk to school. It seems I've driven 6,300 miles this last year. We are striving to bring that to under 5,000 next year.
It was brought to my attention today that my son is self reliant ( ok schools like to oppositional and defiant ) it was noted that Junior Mint responds well to non verbal cues. I asked that person to pass the word , getting into tug of wars with my son makes things worse. Use looks , hand gestures I've suggested and reasoning . He understands things and matches tone. If he's approached confrontationally and with negatives hell react accordingly.
This afternoon we stopped at Dunkin Donuts after the grocer. Junior Mint was given one dollar to spend at will. He looked over the selection carefully. After about three minutes he finally spoke up and said " May I have one glazed donut please ? Thank you" . He completed the transaction, sat down, opened the bag and saw two donuts. He was thrilled! " hold up daddy , if I'm kind and respectful then nice things happen to me" I was so proud of him. Sure I teach him that, I model it , he's seen it , but it for it to happen to him following the rough patch we've had and for it to occur in the real world is priceless. Can't teach that stuff. Ya gotta live it ! Ya gotta love it !
I guess I let my boy, my friends and my self down this week when I failed to remember life's inherent impermance.
" realizing the doctrine of dependent-arising, the wise do not partake of extreme views." Buddha
Thanks for reading again today folks. It's reading and snuggle time for the Robinson Boys
Ok folk we hit the wall last night , figuratively speaking . I'll admit I accelerated it slightly but sometimes ya gotta crash and burn and find that moment when only complete sobbing will help . Gotta hit the bottom to find the way out.
Does that mean life is perfect ? Uhm last I checked I live in reality and not a Disney movie so no life is not perfect but we are working hard. Many tears were shed last night. We gained som good insights as well. My little heart breaks for my big boy. He's learning to face adversity, a skill lost on many.
Today he woke up and his first words were "I Love you daddy , go back to sleep for a few minutes. You deserve it" Brilliant !! I figured he deserved pancakes after that. We also chose to walk to school. It seems I've driven 6,300 miles this last year. We are striving to bring that to under 5,000 next year.
It was brought to my attention today that my son is self reliant ( ok schools like to oppositional and defiant ) it was noted that Junior Mint responds well to non verbal cues. I asked that person to pass the word , getting into tug of wars with my son makes things worse. Use looks , hand gestures I've suggested and reasoning . He understands things and matches tone. If he's approached confrontationally and with negatives hell react accordingly.
This afternoon we stopped at Dunkin Donuts after the grocer. Junior Mint was given one dollar to spend at will. He looked over the selection carefully. After about three minutes he finally spoke up and said " May I have one glazed donut please ? Thank you" . He completed the transaction, sat down, opened the bag and saw two donuts. He was thrilled! " hold up daddy , if I'm kind and respectful then nice things happen to me" I was so proud of him. Sure I teach him that, I model it , he's seen it , but it for it to happen to him following the rough patch we've had and for it to occur in the real world is priceless. Can't teach that stuff. Ya gotta live it ! Ya gotta love it !
I guess I let my boy, my friends and my self down this week when I failed to remember life's inherent impermance.
" realizing the doctrine of dependent-arising, the wise do not partake of extreme views." Buddha
Thanks for reading again today folks. It's reading and snuggle time for the Robinson Boys
Monday, October 15, 2012
A painful lesson
Greetings y'all :
This is probably one of my most painful journal entries. I promised to be honest with y'all , to help others grow and for our growth. With out a doubt I love my son and see the wonderful individual he is and is becoming. Yesterday I failed to do that at a critical juncture. Bear with me today folks , I sense a bit of rambling about to occur.
Our day started sweetly, very sweetly. We decided to attempt a silent day. We wanted to try non verbal communication and internally I was thinking it was also for the voiceless victims of domestic violence. I am a survivor but some days still feel unworthy of peace, love, respect, friendship. It's been eight yrs since the last physical assault by my abuser but I still tense up when I footsteps, doors opening and or closing quickly ,banging , yelling, even seemingly baseless insults.
Sadly after a splendid morning of silent baking and reading and meditation Junior Mint wanted to watch football. I conceded but set the timer for ten minutes, a little quiet time after a minor outburst he had. After the ten minutes I went to his room and found on the shelf at the top of his closet. Ok creative ? yes, athletic ? yes,funny ? yes safe ? no. I helped him down and explained I didn't want him to get hurt and now we had to clean up everything he knocked off the shelf before the game.
The tantrum began and he wasn't going to back down until I gave in. I did not, sadly my eight yr old son virtually mirrored in words and actions his mother when she would rage. Sadly I experienced the same pain. I felt I was in fact worthless and unworthy. I had to step outside because I was no longer raising my child but surviving my ex.
Being in the sunshine is always a good idea. We had planned to hike but after Saturday's incident we still had house work to tend to. But I sat and felt the sun, the breeze , noticed the smells and sounds. I grounded myself and took deep breaths. Junior Mint came out, hugged me and played in the leaves and dug in the dirt. What a child ought to do. Not gonna lie folks , as nice as that was I was still jumpy with every footstep that approached
We came in and made soup. Cooking therapy was the order of the day. As we enjoyed our repast the conversation turned towards the events of the last two days, the last few weeks. It came down to a little boy with a grown mans emotions. His little bucket of knowledge can't hold all them feelings, they come spilling out. Like dumping a gallon of water into a tea cup. You're gonna end up with a full up and a big mess. It's also about not being able to channel those emotions yet. I suppose I could toss in genetics and how I parent. I make plenty of mistakes but try to learn.
We pieced together that he now expects big reactions and will escalate if he doesn't get them. That he equates a time to the exclusion room at school where he can bang and beat and yell and throw a ball against the wall. This I must fix, post haste. That is not acceptable home behavior. He used to voluntarily go into his room, maybe slam his door and bang a moment but then read or find a way to calm down. He'd return a few minutes later ready to continue moving forward. But alas if he gets big emotions at school he's not de-escalating he's being isolated and finding a new level of rage. My solution will be to request on his IEP no exclusion room , no holds , and only time ins at home. He needs to relearn his room is a quiet sanctuary. That the exclusion rooms can be used for mediation too. I have a lot of work , we have a lot of work ahead of us.
I want to say I don't blame anyone. His mother is loyal to her friends, she merely damaged me. I don't project how she is with others, just that the long term ramifications of her actions are affecting not just me but a child who still has a chance. Domestic Violence is an horrendous crime. As far as his school ? It's the system they have in place, it works for some, the staff are good folk who mean well. I just know my child and know this is not what works for him.
I suppose I've rambled enough for today. Let me leave you knowing that during supper Junior Mint broke off a piece of bread , broke it two , shared with me and said " no matter what we snuggle at night. We're the Robinson Boys" he's correct. We end up snuggling and reading each night. The I love yous never stop.
"Let distractions melt away like clouds disappearing in the sky" Milarepa
Thanks for reading again today folks. Thanks for all the love and support we get. John Lennon reminded us we get by with a little help from our friends.
This is probably one of my most painful journal entries. I promised to be honest with y'all , to help others grow and for our growth. With out a doubt I love my son and see the wonderful individual he is and is becoming. Yesterday I failed to do that at a critical juncture. Bear with me today folks , I sense a bit of rambling about to occur.
Our day started sweetly, very sweetly. We decided to attempt a silent day. We wanted to try non verbal communication and internally I was thinking it was also for the voiceless victims of domestic violence. I am a survivor but some days still feel unworthy of peace, love, respect, friendship. It's been eight yrs since the last physical assault by my abuser but I still tense up when I footsteps, doors opening and or closing quickly ,banging , yelling, even seemingly baseless insults.
Sadly after a splendid morning of silent baking and reading and meditation Junior Mint wanted to watch football. I conceded but set the timer for ten minutes, a little quiet time after a minor outburst he had. After the ten minutes I went to his room and found on the shelf at the top of his closet. Ok creative ? yes, athletic ? yes,funny ? yes safe ? no. I helped him down and explained I didn't want him to get hurt and now we had to clean up everything he knocked off the shelf before the game.
The tantrum began and he wasn't going to back down until I gave in. I did not, sadly my eight yr old son virtually mirrored in words and actions his mother when she would rage. Sadly I experienced the same pain. I felt I was in fact worthless and unworthy. I had to step outside because I was no longer raising my child but surviving my ex.
Being in the sunshine is always a good idea. We had planned to hike but after Saturday's incident we still had house work to tend to. But I sat and felt the sun, the breeze , noticed the smells and sounds. I grounded myself and took deep breaths. Junior Mint came out, hugged me and played in the leaves and dug in the dirt. What a child ought to do. Not gonna lie folks , as nice as that was I was still jumpy with every footstep that approached
We came in and made soup. Cooking therapy was the order of the day. As we enjoyed our repast the conversation turned towards the events of the last two days, the last few weeks. It came down to a little boy with a grown mans emotions. His little bucket of knowledge can't hold all them feelings, they come spilling out. Like dumping a gallon of water into a tea cup. You're gonna end up with a full up and a big mess. It's also about not being able to channel those emotions yet. I suppose I could toss in genetics and how I parent. I make plenty of mistakes but try to learn.
We pieced together that he now expects big reactions and will escalate if he doesn't get them. That he equates a time to the exclusion room at school where he can bang and beat and yell and throw a ball against the wall. This I must fix, post haste. That is not acceptable home behavior. He used to voluntarily go into his room, maybe slam his door and bang a moment but then read or find a way to calm down. He'd return a few minutes later ready to continue moving forward. But alas if he gets big emotions at school he's not de-escalating he's being isolated and finding a new level of rage. My solution will be to request on his IEP no exclusion room , no holds , and only time ins at home. He needs to relearn his room is a quiet sanctuary. That the exclusion rooms can be used for mediation too. I have a lot of work , we have a lot of work ahead of us.
I want to say I don't blame anyone. His mother is loyal to her friends, she merely damaged me. I don't project how she is with others, just that the long term ramifications of her actions are affecting not just me but a child who still has a chance. Domestic Violence is an horrendous crime. As far as his school ? It's the system they have in place, it works for some, the staff are good folk who mean well. I just know my child and know this is not what works for him.
I suppose I've rambled enough for today. Let me leave you knowing that during supper Junior Mint broke off a piece of bread , broke it two , shared with me and said " no matter what we snuggle at night. We're the Robinson Boys" he's correct. We end up snuggling and reading each night. The I love yous never stop.
"Let distractions melt away like clouds disappearing in the sky" Milarepa
Thanks for reading again today folks. Thanks for all the love and support we get. John Lennon reminded us we get by with a little help from our friends.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
I-dad + E-boy = fabulous disaster
Greetings y'all :
Yesterday started off well and ended well. The middle pretty much sucked. Had my computer looked at , expected an estimate got a repair bill. Still not fixed I think the hard drive is shot. I guess it doesn't like being thrown at the wall after all. I didn't get my housework done either ( I picked up - but more on that later) . We finished with a good snuggle though.
So after I woke nice and chipper I allowed an exuberant eight yr old too set off my PTSD that's been just under the surface. All he did was jump around and kick a ball some. The vibrations and sounds made me feel like I was under attack . He was just being playful I however was done, my nerves were gone. So we have an introverted dad seeking the refuge of a quiet home and an extroverted child just being a child. We must learn to strike a balance.
As the day progressed we both got antsy and squirrely. When I finally said no to his snack choice and that I needed twenty minutes of meditation and quiet time to regain my strength all hell broke lose. I had nothing left in me after this past week and morning to be able to actively redirect. I was spent, my energy was drained. This request for recomposure time was met with rage and violence. I swear I was reliving my marriage. So after the police left little man finally helped clean up the mess , well the physical damage and destruction. My spare cash , of which there is none, will now be spent on repairing damage from his tantrum. Just like the old days of my marriage. Guess I'm an easy target. But I still maintain an hands off approach . Unfortunately I'm screwed because his school does not. He now equates love and care with holds ,not hugs but "therapeutic holds. Oh fuuuuuudge :(
He used to respond to hugs and smiles and words. Now he grunts and rages .
I still love him deeply. He has pain and confusion he is trying to reach down , identify and express. He is usually reaching out when he strikes out. But sometimes daddy is just battered. I am a survivor, we are survivors. The most telling thing he did was was after it blew over he said " I'm glad I didn't see mom today she would have hit me and left us" WOW !
Ok I'm far from perfect but am still trying. He is far from perfect but is still trying. He can be victim of our circumstances and lives but ought to embrace the suffering as learnable moments. We are blessed with the opportunity to see the depth and sometimes darkness of our souls. Change comes from within. I shall maintain the helm and see us through this storm to smoother waters.
Thanks for reading again today folks . I'll take any and all advice.
Yesterday started off well and ended well. The middle pretty much sucked. Had my computer looked at , expected an estimate got a repair bill. Still not fixed I think the hard drive is shot. I guess it doesn't like being thrown at the wall after all. I didn't get my housework done either ( I picked up - but more on that later) . We finished with a good snuggle though.
So after I woke nice and chipper I allowed an exuberant eight yr old too set off my PTSD that's been just under the surface. All he did was jump around and kick a ball some. The vibrations and sounds made me feel like I was under attack . He was just being playful I however was done, my nerves were gone. So we have an introverted dad seeking the refuge of a quiet home and an extroverted child just being a child. We must learn to strike a balance.
As the day progressed we both got antsy and squirrely. When I finally said no to his snack choice and that I needed twenty minutes of meditation and quiet time to regain my strength all hell broke lose. I had nothing left in me after this past week and morning to be able to actively redirect. I was spent, my energy was drained. This request for recomposure time was met with rage and violence. I swear I was reliving my marriage. So after the police left little man finally helped clean up the mess , well the physical damage and destruction. My spare cash , of which there is none, will now be spent on repairing damage from his tantrum. Just like the old days of my marriage. Guess I'm an easy target. But I still maintain an hands off approach . Unfortunately I'm screwed because his school does not. He now equates love and care with holds ,not hugs but "therapeutic holds. Oh fuuuuuudge :(
He used to respond to hugs and smiles and words. Now he grunts and rages .
I still love him deeply. He has pain and confusion he is trying to reach down , identify and express. He is usually reaching out when he strikes out. But sometimes daddy is just battered. I am a survivor, we are survivors. The most telling thing he did was was after it blew over he said " I'm glad I didn't see mom today she would have hit me and left us" WOW !
Ok I'm far from perfect but am still trying. He is far from perfect but is still trying. He can be victim of our circumstances and lives but ought to embrace the suffering as learnable moments. We are blessed with the opportunity to see the depth and sometimes darkness of our souls. Change comes from within. I shall maintain the helm and see us through this storm to smoother waters.
Thanks for reading again today folks . I'll take any and all advice.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
I got this
Greetings y'all:
Yes I confess I've been sporadic at beast with this blog. It's not that I don't care but it's more that I've been trying to squeeze in random moments of meditation and technical malfunctions. OK not just malfunctions but also tech free days.
So let me pull you into my meandering mind drop a thought bomb on ya.I am considering changing the name of my blog and thus Google+ and FB account to "Quirky and Exuberant" I want to push myself towards completing my book , again. Very little would change regarding the content and format. Once I'm back in the world of computer ownership I'll look into perhaps enhancing the blog/journal.
Ok now back to me version of reality. That's what life is isn't ? It's how we see, view, and perceive things based on our personal experiences and biases. Therefore they are neither right nor wrong but personal perceptions. I find it beneficial to remain open to others and allow ourselves to also remain flexible in our perception of our reality. To remain flexible in how we view others and how others view themselves. It's a big wide world no one has the monopoly on wisdom.
Now on a personal note ...ahhhhh ... (sorry couldn't resist) Junior Mint and I had a typically adventurous week filled with growing pains and growth spurts. I've tried praying to ease his brain and to give me his pain. The answer I received was " hey Ken this is God - I got this. Stick by Junior Mints side I got a plan for you both. Trust in me but keep up the good fight for peace and harmony " What can I say ? I'll put my trust in him/her and continue to fight for and guide my progeny. Junior Mint's pros far outweigh the cons. He/ we have plenty of work but at least we recognize our faults and want to correct them.
Yesterday was a fun day. OK so fun is subjective and my perception of my day was - 'twas fun. Crazy busy but I'm fortunate to have co-workers who are flexible, generous and supportive. I was a whirling dervish of activity and mediation. My mantra was " I got this"
Ok folks I started this journal late this morning, my coffee is ready and Junior Mint is stirring so I must bid adieu. Can y'all do me favor though? Will you please try to be more open to others ? If you've got a strong a faith then merely being open without judging shouldn't rattle you.
Thanks for reading again today folks.
Yes I confess I've been sporadic at beast with this blog. It's not that I don't care but it's more that I've been trying to squeeze in random moments of meditation and technical malfunctions. OK not just malfunctions but also tech free days.
So let me pull you into my meandering mind drop a thought bomb on ya.I am considering changing the name of my blog and thus Google+ and FB account to "Quirky and Exuberant" I want to push myself towards completing my book , again. Very little would change regarding the content and format. Once I'm back in the world of computer ownership I'll look into perhaps enhancing the blog/journal.
Ok now back to me version of reality. That's what life is isn't ? It's how we see, view, and perceive things based on our personal experiences and biases. Therefore they are neither right nor wrong but personal perceptions. I find it beneficial to remain open to others and allow ourselves to also remain flexible in our perception of our reality. To remain flexible in how we view others and how others view themselves. It's a big wide world no one has the monopoly on wisdom.
Now on a personal note ...ahhhhh ... (sorry couldn't resist) Junior Mint and I had a typically adventurous week filled with growing pains and growth spurts. I've tried praying to ease his brain and to give me his pain. The answer I received was " hey Ken this is God - I got this. Stick by Junior Mints side I got a plan for you both. Trust in me but keep up the good fight for peace and harmony " What can I say ? I'll put my trust in him/her and continue to fight for and guide my progeny. Junior Mint's pros far outweigh the cons. He/ we have plenty of work but at least we recognize our faults and want to correct them.
Yesterday was a fun day. OK so fun is subjective and my perception of my day was - 'twas fun. Crazy busy but I'm fortunate to have co-workers who are flexible, generous and supportive. I was a whirling dervish of activity and mediation. My mantra was " I got this"
Ok folks I started this journal late this morning, my coffee is ready and Junior Mint is stirring so I must bid adieu. Can y'all do me favor though? Will you please try to be more open to others ? If you've got a strong a faith then merely being open without judging shouldn't rattle you.
Thanks for reading again today folks.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Beautiful boy
Greetings yall ;
I've always said my son doesn't belong to me but to the universe. Even if the universe doesn't understand him. My beautiful boy your daddy loves you, the deep down you . I get you . Greatness is oft times misunderstood , the universe is yours .
"Close your eyesHave no fearThe monster's goneHe's on the run and your daddy's here
Beautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBefore you go to sleepSay a little prayerEvery day in every wayIt's getting better and betterBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyOut on the ocean sailing awayI can hardly waitTo see you come of ageBut i guess we'll both just have to be patient'cause it's a long way to goA hard row to hoeYes it's a long way to goBut in the meantimeBefore you cross the streetTake my handLife is what happens to youWhile you're busy making other plansBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBefore you go to sleepSay a little prayerEvery day in every wayIt's getting better and betterBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyDarling, darling, darlingDarling sean"
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_lennon/#share
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_lennon/#share
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
The heart of the matter
Greetings y'all :
I'm sitting here with multiple blankets and the window open, my sweet son nestled next to me still sleeping , hot coffee and fresh hope. Hope that today will be better for everyone. I realized I'm rather arrogant in that I see how I am as a professional in special education and a father. My arrogance lies in expecting others to live up to my standards and example.
My child is spoiled by me. I actually stop and listen to him when he is agitated or frustrated and he stays on task. I give non verbal cues which work amazingly well because it maintains his pride, his sense of control and can redirect oft times with humor. The key , as a wise educator once told me is less words.
My heart goes out to my confused young man as he navigates these uncharted rocky waters. He's got one particular crew member who seems intent on throwing my eight year olds ship upon the rocks while blaming the child.
No my child is not perfect . He's got to stop acting out but he's also reaching out. He has one adult who has been a constant thorn in his side since summer. An adult who is ostensibly a helper but instead is confrontational. My eight year is held accountable while the adult pushes , because the child must learn to react better. If he can do that than move him to the classes he was suppose to be in, if not then back off and take ownership of your words and actions. It's bothersome knowing the days my eight year old child will have troubles just by seeing when this individual interacts with him.
My quirky and exuberant child has an IEP; the first word in that is Individual. He is an individual, his mind is unique , his academic level is unique, he does not associate well children his age because his thinking is higher. He is easily frustrated and confrontational. At home he is spoken to like a young intelligent person and is easily redirected with positive behavior incentives (the decision dollars similar to that used school - maintaining continuity) and logic. If he is frustrated I do reflective listening and get to the source of the frustration. By taking a moment to listen we avoid tantrums, give him control and autonomy and reduce behaviors. He knows he is being heard. This is all quite possible in any classroom especially one in which staff us supposedly trained to do so. I've done this for years with great success even before I was formally trained. Ironically trained in my school by my school. Glad I was attentive in class and applied the theories I was taught. Glad I learned to get to the heart of the matter and see behaviors as frustrated forms of communication.
All sentient beings want to be heard. Change comes from within. I learned long ago if a student doesn't get the lesson I'm not teaching it properly for that student. We all know insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That includes using the same tone of voice and demeanor while watching a young child go into crisis. I will continue to captain our ship through this and teach my son the art of navigation. Success is the best revenge. We shall not be anchored.
My rant is over , thanks for reading .
I'm sitting here with multiple blankets and the window open, my sweet son nestled next to me still sleeping , hot coffee and fresh hope. Hope that today will be better for everyone. I realized I'm rather arrogant in that I see how I am as a professional in special education and a father. My arrogance lies in expecting others to live up to my standards and example.
My child is spoiled by me. I actually stop and listen to him when he is agitated or frustrated and he stays on task. I give non verbal cues which work amazingly well because it maintains his pride, his sense of control and can redirect oft times with humor. The key , as a wise educator once told me is less words.
My heart goes out to my confused young man as he navigates these uncharted rocky waters. He's got one particular crew member who seems intent on throwing my eight year olds ship upon the rocks while blaming the child.
No my child is not perfect . He's got to stop acting out but he's also reaching out. He has one adult who has been a constant thorn in his side since summer. An adult who is ostensibly a helper but instead is confrontational. My eight year is held accountable while the adult pushes , because the child must learn to react better. If he can do that than move him to the classes he was suppose to be in, if not then back off and take ownership of your words and actions. It's bothersome knowing the days my eight year old child will have troubles just by seeing when this individual interacts with him.
My quirky and exuberant child has an IEP; the first word in that is Individual. He is an individual, his mind is unique , his academic level is unique, he does not associate well children his age because his thinking is higher. He is easily frustrated and confrontational. At home he is spoken to like a young intelligent person and is easily redirected with positive behavior incentives (the decision dollars similar to that used school - maintaining continuity) and logic. If he is frustrated I do reflective listening and get to the source of the frustration. By taking a moment to listen we avoid tantrums, give him control and autonomy and reduce behaviors. He knows he is being heard. This is all quite possible in any classroom especially one in which staff us supposedly trained to do so. I've done this for years with great success even before I was formally trained. Ironically trained in my school by my school. Glad I was attentive in class and applied the theories I was taught. Glad I learned to get to the heart of the matter and see behaviors as frustrated forms of communication.
All sentient beings want to be heard. Change comes from within. I learned long ago if a student doesn't get the lesson I'm not teaching it properly for that student. We all know insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That includes using the same tone of voice and demeanor while watching a young child go into crisis. I will continue to captain our ship through this and teach my son the art of navigation. Success is the best revenge. We shall not be anchored.
My rant is over , thanks for reading .
Monday, October 8, 2012
Hate the sin , love the sinner
Greetings y'all :
Tis a lovely time of year, perhaps my favorite time. The smells of autumn are rich and warm while the air is cool and crisp. The vibrant colors awaken the eyes and soul on dreary days. Extra blankets and windows opened mean extra snuggles and cuddles. Makes it hard to get up.
This was a relatively quiet weekend for the Robinson Boys. Sure he had a few outbursts but I'm gaining greater insights into his fears and triggers. He is trying to unlearn negative response actions that work in certain environments outside the house and our relationship. Hey buddy it's your dad and that doesn't work here. He wants what every sentient being wants that is happiness and peace, to be heard and feel valid. Like most people, kids and adults, his anger isn't usually selfish it's about unmet needs he's unable to properly articulate.
Saturday was a day of purchasing a veritable farms worth of produce and indulging in natural vitamins while watching a little bit of NCAAF . SEC of course. Lots of good outside as well . Who does love a grand romp in the leaves? So sweet , innocent and child like !
Junior Mint has mentioned a bothersome toe the last week but really fussed about Saturday night . I peeked at it and we headed off to Express Care to mend his infected ingrown toe nail. Seriously kid ? All that we did this week and nary a peep? My little guy is a brave young man but sadly we found his kryptonite . He hates needles ! They told him to soak his foot and they'd be back with a shot to numb it. Great let the anxiety train out of the station. They returned twenty minutes later and he was starting to panic. It was after closing and they wanted to treat him and go home. He panicked completely when they tried to hold him down and eventually placed him on a papoose board kicking and screaming " I don't want to go to support I didn't do anything wrong "
BINGO !! I've had a sense when he's put in therapeutic holds a school he learns might over mind and hates the negative touch considering he's been through some abuse from caregivers. I stroked his hair, held his hand , helped him breathe and sang to him. While feeling my heart torn out.
When we finally got home , after stopping for a treat for my brave and frightened little boy, we did some role playing. How can we handle ourselves next time we need a needle? We now have good strategies in our tool kit.
Sunday we just cleaned up some, got his Rx filled , read , snuggled , ate , snuggled, watch NFL ( ugh I am not much of an NFL fan anymore) , ate , snuggled....
Enjoy your day and remember if you encounter anger look past the actions to the actor , what are they really lacking? Time? Compassion? Autonomy? Validity ? Control ?
Thanks for reading folks.
Tis a lovely time of year, perhaps my favorite time. The smells of autumn are rich and warm while the air is cool and crisp. The vibrant colors awaken the eyes and soul on dreary days. Extra blankets and windows opened mean extra snuggles and cuddles. Makes it hard to get up.
This was a relatively quiet weekend for the Robinson Boys. Sure he had a few outbursts but I'm gaining greater insights into his fears and triggers. He is trying to unlearn negative response actions that work in certain environments outside the house and our relationship. Hey buddy it's your dad and that doesn't work here. He wants what every sentient being wants that is happiness and peace, to be heard and feel valid. Like most people, kids and adults, his anger isn't usually selfish it's about unmet needs he's unable to properly articulate.
Saturday was a day of purchasing a veritable farms worth of produce and indulging in natural vitamins while watching a little bit of NCAAF . SEC of course. Lots of good outside as well . Who does love a grand romp in the leaves? So sweet , innocent and child like !
Junior Mint has mentioned a bothersome toe the last week but really fussed about Saturday night . I peeked at it and we headed off to Express Care to mend his infected ingrown toe nail. Seriously kid ? All that we did this week and nary a peep? My little guy is a brave young man but sadly we found his kryptonite . He hates needles ! They told him to soak his foot and they'd be back with a shot to numb it. Great let the anxiety train out of the station. They returned twenty minutes later and he was starting to panic. It was after closing and they wanted to treat him and go home. He panicked completely when they tried to hold him down and eventually placed him on a papoose board kicking and screaming " I don't want to go to support I didn't do anything wrong "
BINGO !! I've had a sense when he's put in therapeutic holds a school he learns might over mind and hates the negative touch considering he's been through some abuse from caregivers. I stroked his hair, held his hand , helped him breathe and sang to him. While feeling my heart torn out.
When we finally got home , after stopping for a treat for my brave and frightened little boy, we did some role playing. How can we handle ourselves next time we need a needle? We now have good strategies in our tool kit.
Sunday we just cleaned up some, got his Rx filled , read , snuggled , ate , snuggled, watch NFL ( ugh I am not much of an NFL fan anymore) , ate , snuggled....
Enjoy your day and remember if you encounter anger look past the actions to the actor , what are they really lacking? Time? Compassion? Autonomy? Validity ? Control ?
Thanks for reading folks.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The clockmaker and the clock
Greetings y'all ;
Ahh the sweet sound of silence. I humbly apologize for my extended silence my friends. I miss writing in my electronic journal and miss the wonderful feedback I receive as I ramble on about the roller coaster of life. I will be honest , as I always have been and always will be. I stopped because I appreciate my extended viewership and didn't want to type words which can't be rescinded.
It's been an excruciating and exhausting few weeks. It hurts like nobodies business to see my oft times fragile son come home in pieces. We work diligently to put him back together each night but the repair work is painstaking and has become redundant.
*warning- analogy time*
Once upon a time an old man with very few possessions and even less money let his village use his one of a kind precious clock. The town claimed they loves it. Many people complimented the craftsmanship and beauty, the elegance and precision. Yet every day , after fixing several of the villagers personal clocks , he found his clock broken and in disrepair. Each night the clock maker was terribly tired.
You see the clock maker spent several hours a day in a noisy shop tweaking the clocks of others. Perhaps not completing his repairs in one day but tweaking the mechanisms and making minor adjustments. His lone joy was returning home to his magnificent clock he'd built himself. He was comforted in the beauty and gentle precision of his one priceless possession. Oh how he loved the the gentle ticking and the vibrant and joyous chimes.
But alas the old man would bring his clock, which he had entrusted with the villagers , home every night. Every night the old man would spend countless hour trying to repair his clock. He became sad and disillusioned. Why was tweaking and fixing while others were breaking? He offered advice on how to keep the clock running smoothly. The advice was summarily rejected and clock continued to malfunction. The old man would cry himself to sleep at night knowing each day of damage makes it harder to repair.
Oddly , even though the clock ran with smooth precision prior to the villagers handling of it and even in the evenings after the poor old mans hours of repairs , they blamed the old man and even the clock. The old man merely prayed the the villagers would understand each clock is unique. He prayed the villagers would find peace. That the villagers , who knew his reputation as a craftsman , would trust his input on his own handmade work.
The old man is a craftsman not a quitter. He knew his clock would never be the same but he continued to tweak and repair and rebuild. His clock was his clock. Twas beautiful to see and hear, was hardworking and persistent, was accurate and precise. It was his one of a kind unique time piece. He began to wonder if the villagers deserved such a fine instrument. If the villagers would learn to use a small screwdriver rather than a hammer to tweak his delicate instrument .
* end analogy *
Folks it's been an extremely rough few weeks. I've been exhausted from piecing my quirky and exuberant child back together. His self esteem has plummeted somewhere below the sub terrain. It's been exhausting piecing him back together and hearing everything is his fault. I guess if I were eight and heard all day I'm bad and am to blame while adults are perfect I'd be frustrated too.
What's not seen or appreciated is the amount of effort he puts in out of the class to improve his academics. Unfortunately now those hours are spent rebuilding his self esteem and psyche. We still haven't received a good answer as to why he's not in the GT classes he was slated for. We feel like we are in a manufactured snowball that is being pushed down a hill.
Alas we are the Robinson Boys ! We take ownership for our actions and expect others to do the same. We have high expectations for ourselves and others. We fight and find solutions; we are not quitters.
Thanks for reading again today folks. I suppose in still bitter and if I offended any one then come talk TO me as I've gone to the sources of my anguish. Hence part of me silence, I talk TO people before I vent.
Thanks
Ahh the sweet sound of silence. I humbly apologize for my extended silence my friends. I miss writing in my electronic journal and miss the wonderful feedback I receive as I ramble on about the roller coaster of life. I will be honest , as I always have been and always will be. I stopped because I appreciate my extended viewership and didn't want to type words which can't be rescinded.
It's been an excruciating and exhausting few weeks. It hurts like nobodies business to see my oft times fragile son come home in pieces. We work diligently to put him back together each night but the repair work is painstaking and has become redundant.
*warning- analogy time*
Once upon a time an old man with very few possessions and even less money let his village use his one of a kind precious clock. The town claimed they loves it. Many people complimented the craftsmanship and beauty, the elegance and precision. Yet every day , after fixing several of the villagers personal clocks , he found his clock broken and in disrepair. Each night the clock maker was terribly tired.
You see the clock maker spent several hours a day in a noisy shop tweaking the clocks of others. Perhaps not completing his repairs in one day but tweaking the mechanisms and making minor adjustments. His lone joy was returning home to his magnificent clock he'd built himself. He was comforted in the beauty and gentle precision of his one priceless possession. Oh how he loved the the gentle ticking and the vibrant and joyous chimes.
But alas the old man would bring his clock, which he had entrusted with the villagers , home every night. Every night the old man would spend countless hour trying to repair his clock. He became sad and disillusioned. Why was tweaking and fixing while others were breaking? He offered advice on how to keep the clock running smoothly. The advice was summarily rejected and clock continued to malfunction. The old man would cry himself to sleep at night knowing each day of damage makes it harder to repair.
Oddly , even though the clock ran with smooth precision prior to the villagers handling of it and even in the evenings after the poor old mans hours of repairs , they blamed the old man and even the clock. The old man merely prayed the the villagers would understand each clock is unique. He prayed the villagers would find peace. That the villagers , who knew his reputation as a craftsman , would trust his input on his own handmade work.
The old man is a craftsman not a quitter. He knew his clock would never be the same but he continued to tweak and repair and rebuild. His clock was his clock. Twas beautiful to see and hear, was hardworking and persistent, was accurate and precise. It was his one of a kind unique time piece. He began to wonder if the villagers deserved such a fine instrument. If the villagers would learn to use a small screwdriver rather than a hammer to tweak his delicate instrument .
* end analogy *
Folks it's been an extremely rough few weeks. I've been exhausted from piecing my quirky and exuberant child back together. His self esteem has plummeted somewhere below the sub terrain. It's been exhausting piecing him back together and hearing everything is his fault. I guess if I were eight and heard all day I'm bad and am to blame while adults are perfect I'd be frustrated too.
What's not seen or appreciated is the amount of effort he puts in out of the class to improve his academics. Unfortunately now those hours are spent rebuilding his self esteem and psyche. We still haven't received a good answer as to why he's not in the GT classes he was slated for. We feel like we are in a manufactured snowball that is being pushed down a hill.
Alas we are the Robinson Boys ! We take ownership for our actions and expect others to do the same. We have high expectations for ourselves and others. We fight and find solutions; we are not quitters.
Thanks for reading again today folks. I suppose in still bitter and if I offended any one then come talk TO me as I've gone to the sources of my anguish. Hence part of me silence, I talk TO people before I vent.
Thanks