The heart of the matter

Greetings y'all :

I'm sitting here with multiple blankets and the window open, my sweet son nestled next to me still sleeping , hot coffee and fresh hope. Hope that today will be better for everyone. I realized I'm rather arrogant in that I see how I am as a professional in special education and a father. My arrogance lies in expecting others to live up to my standards and example.

My child is spoiled by me. I actually stop and listen to him when he is agitated or frustrated and he stays on task. I give non verbal cues which work amazingly well because it maintains his pride, his sense of control and can redirect oft times with humor. The key , as a wise educator once told me is less words.

My heart goes out to my confused young man as he navigates these uncharted rocky waters. He's got one particular crew member who seems intent on throwing my eight year olds ship upon the rocks while blaming the child.

No my child is not perfect . He's got to stop acting out but he's also reaching out. He has one adult who has been a constant thorn in his side since summer. An adult who is ostensibly a helper but instead is confrontational. My eight year is held accountable while the adult pushes , because the child must learn to react better. If he can do that than move him to the classes he was suppose to be in, if not then back off and take ownership of your words and actions. It's bothersome knowing the days my eight year old child will have troubles just by seeing when this individual interacts with him.

My quirky and exuberant child has an IEP; the first word in that is Individual. He is an individual, his mind is unique , his academic level is unique, he does not associate well children his age because his thinking is higher. He is easily frustrated and confrontational. At home he is spoken to like a young intelligent person and is easily redirected with positive behavior incentives (the decision dollars similar to that used school - maintaining continuity) and logic. If he is frustrated I do reflective listening and get to the source of the frustration. By taking a moment to listen we avoid tantrums, give him control and autonomy and reduce behaviors. He knows he is being heard. This is all quite possible in any classroom especially one in which staff us supposedly trained to do so. I've done this for years with great success even before I was formally trained. Ironically trained in my school by my school. Glad I was attentive in class and applied the theories I was taught. Glad I learned to get to the heart of the matter and see behaviors as frustrated forms of communication.

All sentient beings want to be heard. Change comes from within. I learned long ago if a student doesn't get the lesson I'm not teaching it properly for that student. We all know insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That includes using the same tone of voice and demeanor while watching a young child go into crisis. I will continue to captain our ship through this and teach my son the art of navigation. Success is the best revenge. We shall not be anchored.

My rant is over , thanks for reading .