Election Night 2012

Greetings y'all :

Well it was another adventurous election night. I was knackered and had a tooth ache and just wanted to turn in early. Zander insisted we accept Senator's Cardin invitation to the Democratic Party celebration at M & T Bank Stadium. Ok it had free food so who could resist? We go in grab some grub make nice and get out. Yeah right . We drove around the neighborhood looking for the right parking lot. It only took an extra half hour and a few choice words but we found it. Once there we enjoyed the veggies , yes they fed us veggies and hummus and pesto , actually quite yummy . We ran into folks we knew, wondered around the club level of the stadium and hob knobbed. When Senator Cardin came out for his victory speech his campaign manager made sure Zander was front and center. Naturally Senator Cardin was the last speaker so Alexander was front and center for Governor O'Malley, Senator Milkulski, Representative Ruppersberger and our new Representative Cummins. I have to admit it was neat when Myrna Cardin looked down and said " Hi Alexander - thanks "

After the speeches the AP photographer insisted on a photo with Alexander and the Senator. I missed getting that one , it was cute because our boy was holding his Cardin sign and wearing his Cardin shirt. We rubbed some elbows took what I thought was one last walk around as I explained the results of the presidential election would not be back until the weekend. Once again there was a certain amount of fallacy in my thinking. We saw the results were rolling in so we stuck around. Now y'all may or may not like the results or agree with our political thinking but my son saw the presidential election results amidst state big wigs and the hard workers of the Democratic party. The room was electric and Alexander was a part of history as they announced President Obama was re-elected. When everything settled down Senator Cardin sat with Alexander for the attached photo. Sorry for the lighting and the quality. Myrna was by my side singing my sons praises and I was a tad nervous.

Again regardless of your politics not many eight year olds get to experience that. Needless to say 'twas a bit difficult getting up the next day. I insisted we push forward because partying is not an excuse for not showing up and working hard. I will say the plethora of veggies had a significant impact on his belly though.


Thanks for reading again folks.

Election Night 2012

Senator Ben Cardin and his friend Zander

STOP and Listen

Greetings y'all :

Well folks Junior Mint seems to have recovered from tummy issues. I still contend eating mozzarella dippers with marinara sauce and mashed tater and gravy chaser wasn't his brightest dinning choice. But he's been fever free and is ready to get his learning on. He was actually upset he missed time from school. Atta boy ! I think he may tired of eating soup too.

It's been an interesting couple of days since we last got together folks. OK so that's not unusual. My life, as least to me, at it's most boring is still interesting. Remember we are the Quirky and Exuberant Robinson Boys! Life at home has been blissfully smooth and cooperative. I an reminded daily how blessed I am to have Junior Mint in my life. To wake up to his smiling face and fall asleep with him nestled in my arms is pure heaven on earth.

At work I find deeper and greater appreciation for the myriad of skills of my co-workers. I've been reminded how they are able to teach not just academics but also social and life skills to our future. Yes I may be naive but I try to see the best in people and view the students as my teachers and our future. Children have a lot to say but sometimes very little voice. They want to be heard and validated but often speak in ways we don't hear or understand. Stop and listen , stop and observe. What are they really saying ? Not what do we want them to say or feel but what us in their hearts and minds. Sometimes we must listen with our eyes, ears, hearts, and mind clear an wide open without judging.

Ok folks it's almost 2:15 am here , I've been up since the witching hour with busy brain syndrome. Have a wonderful and please remember to stop and listen today.

Random Fun

Greetings y'all :

It's been a fun couple of days since last we commiserated. Friday was a day off for students but Junior Mint came in with me. We had to pop out to run an errand and decided to grab a pair of pizzas at Little Caesars on the way back to work. We entered a dark building, power was obviously out. My little man sherpa'd the pizzas to my classroom. He then went back through the hall inviting everyone to his party.

It was pretty cool. His teachers and counselor, and other staff joined us. It was nice having a friendly organic gathering of folk. We all interacted on a human level . I think some walls came down. Ironically it reminded me of the old days when the neighborhood knew where to go in case of loss of power. The adults would gather on our side porch and the kids would congregate in my room. I also learned my son is a good little host. He got anxious with all the people around but was in his element, surrounded by adults. The lad really is more comfortable with grown folk, they can match his experiences and interests and are more patient and understanding.

Saturday we ventured down to the Walters Art Gallery for the Family Rennasaince Festival. Good times I tell you ! They had a multitude of crafts relating to period people. Such as make your own telescope ( Gallileo) . Naturally Junior Mint announced his was for the meteor shower that night. Some how we ran into DaVinci, Gallileo ,saw period dancers, heard period singers, stopped at most of the stations and saw most of the permanent collection. At one of the stations the volunteer asked if we came for the Festival or lived in the area. Junior Mint replied non-chalantly "We're the Robinsons, we just do random fun things" One of life's simple pleasures is allowing children to answer questions from others with out editing their answers. I couldn't have argued with his response anyway. Our belly buttons were touching our back bones so we followed a friends advice and grabbed two huge slices at "Never on a Sunday" on our way to the metro.

The last two weeks I've been exhausted and in desperate need of "I" time. We were chaffing against each other and stayed inside. Hmm imagine water molecules trapped inside a container that is being heated. The molecules rub together rather fiercely,which of course leads to boiling. Imagine those same molecules given a release and the heat turned down. We are left with flowing water able to move freely.

Ok back to yesterday. We decided to push through the evening and stay up for the meteor shower. My first instinct was to drive north and get out of the lights and into the country. I followed my ADD mind and last minute thought to drive to a pull over near Soldiers Delight. We saw a magnificent moon set then faced east to watch Orion and the scattered meteor showers. Twas a chilly evening so we had blankets and were bundled up. We spied a few , roughly thirty between us, meteors. Junior Mint decided to bury himself in the blanket. Poor chilly man cub . I told him we would go home at midnight. He fell asleep and I enjoyed the showers and the quiet of nature. Blissful I tell you. Midnight came and I tried to rouse my little man. No dice. I had just put our things away and was about to get out the car to physically pick up man cub and put him in his car seat but was interrupted by bright lights, flashing lights and a man in a uniform carrying a badge and a side arm. Sure it's all fun and games until the police arrive. He was inquisitive as to why I sitting in the car. I said we are watching the meteor showers. He looked in the car and only saw me. I removed the blanket and said " it's my eight year old son, I told him we'd leave at midnight." The officer laughed and said " it's 12:10 and technically you're trespassing, park closes at sunset. I D please " I apologized. He came back complimenting my car and parenting but suggested twas time to move on. I concurred. We exchanged some pleasantries. After securing my lad in his seat we drove off. On the way home I managed to miss a key turn and went a tad out of our way. I don't get lost , I am just not always where I think I should be.

Our life is still far from perfect. We've celebrated our one year here after a tumultuous move last year. The wolf is camped comfortably at our door and still howling. We have love though. The last two weeks were difficult but we are learning and growing. It's a vicious cycle - the events set the mood while the mood sets the events. Yesterday was a good day - I'll take it.

Thanks for reading again today folks.

Mowgli the Mathlete!

Greetings y'all ;

Happy Friday everyone ! Not sure where to begin. Yesterday started off like any other day. A minor hiccup in the morning as we prepared for school but just another day. As usual the universe felt we could use a change. Fortunately we are the Robinson Boys and are somewhat flexible.

Ok quick background knowledge for ya. Zander's school participates in the First in Math program, which involves solving mathematic problems online. Students earn virtual stickers for correct answers. Hmmm we've no computer at home so it seems we're at a slight disadvantage. It seemed to be a dilemma because Junior Mint likes challenges and enjoys showing off his brain. We made a deal he could use my computer after school if he behaved in school. He bought into it. I mean he went all in!

He was the first in his class to reach 500 stickers! He's trying to work his way into the top twenty for his school, top ten for his grade and top hundred for his grade across the county. Quite a noble goal for a lad lacking a computer at home. The most humbling part is the way his teacher and classmates celebrated his success!

He received a 500 sticker certificate and got to wear a number 1 in Math lanyard. The teacher surprised me by having Zander hide in my room and jump out to show me his rewards! The teacher also gave me a star that stated he had a perfect morning! Turns out he had a perfect day! I wonder if there is a correlation between showering praise on him for his academic acumen and improve behavior. I was so grateful they saw his brilliance !

Each day is new day , we can hope for the best and learn. I wasn't trying to brag about my young man but you know the weeks we've had so we needed yesterday. I'm proud of Mowgli the Mathlete !

Thanks for reading again today.

Dinner jump up

Greetings y'all:

It's tech free Thursday so I'll be quick today.

We walked to school again yesterday , great exercise , more bonding , and increased and relaxed conversation. On the way in Junior Mint " said we're all imperfect people in an imperfect world" . We both went on to face good days. I think he's being more respectful , now if we can just let him be an eight year old he'll be even better.

With the program he's in there is considerable micro-management. That has its good points but ADHD (quirky and exuberant) and oppositional (self reliant ) children chafe at that. Firm rules and gentle reminder work wonders for kids , not firm rules and constant punishment. I've done good work with these kids and worse kids. Each child wants to be valid and it's amazing how well non verbal cues work. Something as a smile and shake of the head or thumbs up. But micro-managing will lead to a tug of war. Every loses then.

So after a successful day at school/ work we walked to his therapist. We discussed his anger over the weekend and think its a combination of the aforementioned micro-management , learned behavior at school and the part that helped his bubbling magma of emotion to erupt was he was stressed he was going to see his mom. He'd forgotten that he had asked to cancel the visit. But we all pieced it together. Do his IA at school reminds him of his mom regarding demeanor and looks and he's been chaffing and projecting.

Can't we let him be eight ? Can't we let his mind calm instead of demanding it? I get that he's angry and is imperfect but so are adults. He's struggling to be a kid why should he be the grown up.

After therapy we walked back to work for the juggling club. After waiting and hour and a half we discovered club is canceled until further notice while the school gets some work done to it. Ok at least junior mint got on his first in math page and did over two hours of math , for fun. We finally walked home after that.

After a nice fourteen hour day Zander decided to fix dinner jump up. Obstenibly its when you jump up and fix your own dinner. Last night he decided to jump up and grab stuff from the fridge. We enjoyed a lovely repast of apple crisp,broccoli , red grapes , cheese and carrots. Best food I'd had in ages.

Ok gotta go get this here brand new day started and see what surprises the universe has in store for us. Thanks for reading again today folks.

A penthouse in the basement

Greetings y'all :

Ok folk we hit the wall last night , figuratively speaking . I'll admit I accelerated it slightly but sometimes ya gotta crash and burn and find that moment when only complete sobbing will help . Gotta hit the bottom to find the way out.

Does that mean life is perfect ? Uhm last I checked I live in reality and not a Disney movie so no life is not perfect but we are working hard. Many tears were shed last night. We gained som good insights as well. My little heart breaks for my big boy. He's learning to face adversity, a skill lost on many.

Today he woke up and his first words were "I Love you daddy , go back to sleep for a few minutes. You deserve it" Brilliant !! I figured he deserved pancakes after that. We also chose to walk to school. It seems I've driven 6,300 miles this last year. We are striving to bring that to under 5,000 next year.

It was brought to my attention today that my son is self reliant ( ok schools like to oppositional and defiant ) it was noted that Junior Mint responds well to non verbal cues. I asked that person to pass the word , getting into tug of wars with my son makes things worse. Use looks , hand gestures I've suggested and reasoning . He understands things and matches tone. If he's approached confrontationally and with negatives hell react accordingly.

This afternoon we stopped at Dunkin Donuts after the grocer. Junior Mint was given one dollar to spend at will. He looked over the selection carefully. After about three minutes he finally spoke up and said " May I have one glazed donut please ? Thank you" . He completed the transaction, sat down, opened the bag and saw two donuts. He was thrilled! " hold up daddy , if I'm kind and respectful then nice things happen to me" I was so proud of him. Sure I teach him that, I model it , he's seen it , but it for it to happen to him following the rough patch we've had and for it to occur in the real world is priceless. Can't teach that stuff. Ya gotta live it ! Ya gotta love it !

I guess I let my boy, my friends and my self down this week when I failed to remember life's inherent impermance.

" realizing the doctrine of dependent-arising, the wise do not partake of extreme views." Buddha

Thanks for reading again today folks. It's reading and snuggle time for the Robinson Boys

A painful lesson

Greetings y'all :

This is probably one of my most painful journal entries. I promised to be honest with y'all , to help others grow and for our growth. With out a doubt I love my son and see the wonderful individual he is and is becoming. Yesterday I failed to do that at a critical juncture. Bear with me today folks , I sense a bit of rambling about to occur.

Our day started sweetly, very sweetly. We decided to attempt a silent day. We wanted to try non verbal communication and internally I was thinking it was also for the voiceless victims of domestic violence. I am a survivor but some days still feel unworthy of peace, love, respect, friendship. It's been eight yrs since the last physical assault by my abuser but I still tense up when I footsteps, doors opening and or closing quickly ,banging , yelling, even seemingly baseless insults.

Sadly after a splendid morning of silent baking and reading and meditation Junior Mint wanted to watch football. I conceded but set the timer for ten minutes, a little quiet time after a minor outburst he had. After the ten minutes I went to his room and found on the shelf at the top of his closet. Ok creative ? yes, athletic ? yes,funny ? yes safe ? no. I helped him down and explained I didn't want him to get hurt and now we had to clean up everything he knocked off the shelf before the game.

The tantrum began and he wasn't going to back down until I gave in. I did not, sadly my eight yr old son virtually mirrored in words and actions his mother when she would rage. Sadly I experienced the same pain. I felt I was in fact worthless and unworthy. I had to step outside because I was no longer raising my child but surviving my ex.

Being in the sunshine is always a good idea. We had planned to hike but after Saturday's incident we still had house work to tend to. But I sat and felt the sun, the breeze , noticed the smells and sounds. I grounded myself and took deep breaths. Junior Mint came out, hugged me and played in the leaves and dug in the dirt. What a child ought to do. Not gonna lie folks , as nice as that was I was still jumpy with every footstep that approached

We came in and made soup. Cooking therapy was the order of the day. As we enjoyed our repast the conversation turned towards the events of the last two days, the last few weeks. It came down to a little boy with a grown mans emotions. His little bucket of knowledge can't hold all them feelings, they come spilling out. Like dumping a gallon of water into a tea cup. You're gonna end up with a full up and a big mess. It's also about not being able to channel those emotions yet. I suppose I could toss in genetics and how I parent. I make plenty of mistakes but try to learn.

We pieced together that he now expects big reactions and will escalate if he doesn't get them. That he equates a time to the exclusion room at school where he can bang and beat and yell and throw a ball against the wall. This I must fix, post haste. That is not acceptable home behavior. He used to voluntarily go into his room, maybe slam his door and bang a moment but then read or find a way to calm down. He'd return a few minutes later ready to continue moving forward. But alas if he gets big emotions at school he's not de-escalating he's being isolated and finding a new level of rage. My solution will be to request on his IEP no exclusion room , no holds , and only time ins at home. He needs to relearn his room is a quiet sanctuary. That the exclusion rooms can be used for mediation too. I have a lot of work , we have a lot of work ahead of us.

I want to say I don't blame anyone. His mother is loyal to her friends, she merely damaged me. I don't project how she is with others, just that the long term ramifications of her actions are affecting not just me but a child who still has a chance. Domestic Violence is an horrendous crime. As far as his school ? It's the system they have in place, it works for some, the staff are good folk who mean well. I just know my child and know this is not what works for him.

I suppose I've rambled enough for today. Let me leave you knowing that during supper Junior Mint broke off a piece of bread , broke it two , shared with me and said " no matter what we snuggle at night. We're the Robinson Boys" he's correct. We end up snuggling and reading each night. The I love yous never stop.

"Let distractions melt away like clouds disappearing in the sky" Milarepa

Thanks for reading again today folks. Thanks for all the love and support we get. John Lennon reminded us we get by with a little help from our friends.

I-dad + E-boy = fabulous disaster

Greetings y'all :

Yesterday started off well and ended well. The middle pretty much sucked. Had my computer looked at , expected an estimate got a repair bill. Still not fixed I think the hard drive is shot. I guess it doesn't like being thrown at the wall after all. I didn't get my housework done either ( I picked up - but more on that later) . We finished with a good snuggle though.

So after I woke nice and chipper I allowed an exuberant eight yr old too set off my PTSD that's been just under the surface. All he did was jump around and kick a ball some. The vibrations and sounds made me feel like I was under attack . He was just being playful I however was done, my nerves were gone. So we have an introverted dad seeking the refuge of a quiet home and an extroverted child just being a child. We must learn to strike a balance.

As the day progressed we both got antsy and squirrely. When I finally said no to his snack choice and that I needed twenty minutes of meditation and quiet time to regain my strength all hell broke lose. I had nothing left in me after this past week and morning to be able to actively redirect. I was spent, my energy was drained. This request for recomposure time was met with rage and violence. I swear I was reliving my marriage. So after the police left little man finally helped clean up the mess , well the physical damage and destruction. My spare cash , of which there is none, will now be spent on repairing damage from his tantrum. Just like the old days of my marriage. Guess I'm an easy target. But I still maintain an hands off approach . Unfortunately I'm screwed because his school does not. He now equates love and care with holds ,not hugs but "therapeutic holds. Oh fuuuuuudge :(
He used to respond to hugs and smiles and words. Now he grunts and rages .

I still love him deeply. He has pain and confusion he is trying to reach down , identify and express. He is usually reaching out when he strikes out. But sometimes daddy is just battered. I am a survivor, we are survivors. The most telling thing he did was was after it blew over he said " I'm glad I didn't see mom today she would have hit me and left us" WOW !

Ok I'm far from perfect but am still trying. He is far from perfect but is still trying. He can be victim of our circumstances and lives but ought to embrace the suffering as learnable moments. We are blessed with the opportunity to see the depth and sometimes darkness of our souls. Change comes from within. I shall maintain the helm and see us through this storm to smoother waters.

Thanks for reading again today folks . I'll take any and all advice.

I got this

Greetings y'all:

Yes I confess I've been sporadic at beast with this blog. It's not that I don't care but it's more that I've been trying to squeeze in random moments of meditation and technical malfunctions. OK not just malfunctions but also tech free days.

So let me pull you into my meandering mind drop a thought bomb on ya.I am considering changing the name of my blog and thus Google+ and FB account to "Quirky and Exuberant" I want to push myself towards completing my book , again. Very little would change regarding the content and format. Once I'm back in the world of computer ownership I'll look into perhaps enhancing the blog/journal.

Ok now back to me version of reality. That's what life is isn't ? It's how we see, view, and perceive things based on our personal experiences and biases. Therefore they are neither right nor wrong but personal perceptions. I find it beneficial to remain open to others and allow ourselves to also remain flexible in our perception of our reality. To remain flexible in how we view others and how others view themselves. It's a big wide world no one has the monopoly on wisdom.

Now on a personal note ...ahhhhh ... (sorry couldn't resist) Junior Mint and I had a typically adventurous week filled with growing pains and growth spurts. I've tried praying to ease his brain and to give me his pain. The answer I received was " hey Ken this is God - I got this. Stick by Junior Mints side I got a plan for you both. Trust in me but keep up the good fight for peace and harmony " What can I say ? I'll put my trust in him/her and continue to fight for and guide my progeny. Junior Mint's pros far outweigh the cons. He/ we have plenty of work but at least we recognize our faults and want to correct them.

Yesterday was a fun day. OK so fun is subjective and my perception of my day was - 'twas fun. Crazy busy but I'm fortunate to have co-workers who are flexible, generous and supportive. I was a whirling dervish of activity and mediation. My mantra was " I got this"

Ok folks I started this journal late this morning, my coffee is ready and Junior Mint is stirring so I must bid adieu. Can y'all do me favor though? Will you please try to be more open to others ? If you've got a strong a faith then merely being open without judging shouldn't rattle you.

Thanks for reading again today folks.

Beautiful boy

Greetings yall ;

I've always said my son doesn't  belong to me but to the universe. Even if the universe doesn't understand him. My beautiful boy your daddy loves you, the deep down you . I get you . Greatness is oft times misunderstood , the universe is yours . 

"Close your eyesHave no fearThe monster's goneHe's on the run and your daddy's here

Beautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBefore you go to sleepSay a little prayerEvery day in every wayIt's getting better and betterBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyOut on the ocean sailing awayI can hardly waitTo see you come of ageBut i guess we'll both just have to be patient'cause it's a long way to goA hard row to hoeYes it's a long way to goBut in the meantimeBefore you cross the streetTake my handLife is what happens to youWhile you're busy making other plansBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyBefore you go to sleepSay a little prayerEvery day in every wayIt's getting better and betterBeautiful, beautiful, beautifulBeautiful boyDarling, darling, darlingDarling sean" 

[Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_lennon/beautiful_boy.html ]

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/john_lennon/#share

The heart of the matter

Greetings y'all :

I'm sitting here with multiple blankets and the window open, my sweet son nestled next to me still sleeping , hot coffee and fresh hope. Hope that today will be better for everyone. I realized I'm rather arrogant in that I see how I am as a professional in special education and a father. My arrogance lies in expecting others to live up to my standards and example.

My child is spoiled by me. I actually stop and listen to him when he is agitated or frustrated and he stays on task. I give non verbal cues which work amazingly well because it maintains his pride, his sense of control and can redirect oft times with humor. The key , as a wise educator once told me is less words.

My heart goes out to my confused young man as he navigates these uncharted rocky waters. He's got one particular crew member who seems intent on throwing my eight year olds ship upon the rocks while blaming the child.

No my child is not perfect . He's got to stop acting out but he's also reaching out. He has one adult who has been a constant thorn in his side since summer. An adult who is ostensibly a helper but instead is confrontational. My eight year is held accountable while the adult pushes , because the child must learn to react better. If he can do that than move him to the classes he was suppose to be in, if not then back off and take ownership of your words and actions. It's bothersome knowing the days my eight year old child will have troubles just by seeing when this individual interacts with him.

My quirky and exuberant child has an IEP; the first word in that is Individual. He is an individual, his mind is unique , his academic level is unique, he does not associate well children his age because his thinking is higher. He is easily frustrated and confrontational. At home he is spoken to like a young intelligent person and is easily redirected with positive behavior incentives (the decision dollars similar to that used school - maintaining continuity) and logic. If he is frustrated I do reflective listening and get to the source of the frustration. By taking a moment to listen we avoid tantrums, give him control and autonomy and reduce behaviors. He knows he is being heard. This is all quite possible in any classroom especially one in which staff us supposedly trained to do so. I've done this for years with great success even before I was formally trained. Ironically trained in my school by my school. Glad I was attentive in class and applied the theories I was taught. Glad I learned to get to the heart of the matter and see behaviors as frustrated forms of communication.

All sentient beings want to be heard. Change comes from within. I learned long ago if a student doesn't get the lesson I'm not teaching it properly for that student. We all know insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That includes using the same tone of voice and demeanor while watching a young child go into crisis. I will continue to captain our ship through this and teach my son the art of navigation. Success is the best revenge. We shall not be anchored.

My rant is over , thanks for reading .

Hate the sin , love the sinner

Greetings y'all :
Tis a lovely time of year, perhaps my favorite time. The smells of autumn are rich and warm while the air is cool and crisp. The vibrant colors awaken the eyes and soul on dreary days. Extra blankets and windows opened mean extra snuggles and cuddles. Makes it hard to get up.

This was a relatively quiet weekend for the Robinson Boys. Sure he had a few outbursts but I'm gaining greater insights into his fears and triggers. He is trying to unlearn negative response actions that work in certain environments outside the house and our relationship. Hey buddy it's your dad and that doesn't work here. He wants what every sentient being wants that is happiness and peace, to be heard and feel valid. Like most people, kids and adults, his anger isn't usually selfish it's about unmet needs he's unable to properly articulate.

Saturday was a day of purchasing a veritable farms worth of produce and indulging in natural vitamins while watching a little bit of NCAAF . SEC of course. Lots of good outside as well . Who does love a grand romp in the leaves? So sweet , innocent and child like !

Junior Mint has mentioned a bothersome toe the last week but really fussed about Saturday night . I peeked at it and we headed off to Express Care to mend his infected ingrown toe nail. Seriously kid ? All that we did this week and nary a peep? My little guy is a brave young man but sadly we found his kryptonite . He hates needles ! They told him to soak his foot and they'd be back with a shot to numb it. Great let the anxiety train out of the station. They returned twenty minutes later and he was starting to panic. It was after closing and they wanted to treat him and go home. He panicked completely when they tried to hold him down and eventually placed him on a papoose board kicking and screaming " I don't want to go to support I didn't do anything wrong "

BINGO !! I've had a sense when he's put in therapeutic holds a school he learns might over mind and hates the negative touch considering he's been through some abuse from caregivers. I stroked his hair, held his hand , helped him breathe and sang to him. While feeling my heart torn out.

When we finally got home , after stopping for a treat for my brave and frightened little boy, we did some role playing. How can we handle ourselves next time we need a needle? We now have good strategies in our tool kit.

Sunday we just cleaned up some, got his Rx filled , read , snuggled , ate , snuggled, watch NFL ( ugh I am not much of an NFL fan anymore) , ate , snuggled....

Enjoy your day and remember if you encounter anger look past the actions to the actor , what are they really lacking? Time? Compassion? Autonomy? Validity ? Control ?

Thanks for reading folks.

The clockmaker and the clock

Greetings y'all ;

Ahh the sweet sound of silence. I humbly apologize for my extended silence my friends. I miss writing in my electronic journal and miss the wonderful feedback I receive as I ramble on about the roller coaster of life. I will be honest , as I always have been and always will be. I stopped because I appreciate my extended viewership and didn't want to type words which can't be rescinded.

It's been an excruciating and exhausting few weeks. It hurts like nobodies business to see my oft times fragile son come home in pieces. We work diligently to put him back together each night but the repair work is painstaking and has become redundant.

*warning- analogy time*

Once upon a time an old man with very few possessions and even less money let his village use his one of a kind precious clock. The town claimed they loves it. Many people complimented the craftsmanship and beauty, the elegance and precision. Yet every day , after fixing several of the villagers personal clocks , he found his clock broken and in disrepair. Each night the clock maker was terribly tired.

You see the clock maker spent several hours a day in a noisy shop tweaking the clocks of others. Perhaps not completing his repairs in one day but tweaking the mechanisms and making minor adjustments. His lone joy was returning home to his magnificent clock he'd built himself. He was comforted in the beauty and gentle precision of his one priceless possession. Oh how he loved the the gentle ticking and the vibrant and joyous chimes.

But alas the old man would bring his clock, which he had entrusted with the villagers , home every night. Every night the old man would spend countless hour trying to repair his clock. He became sad and disillusioned. Why was tweaking and fixing while others were breaking? He offered advice on how to keep the clock running smoothly. The advice was summarily rejected and clock continued to malfunction. The old man would cry himself to sleep at night knowing each day of damage makes it harder to repair.

Oddly , even though the clock ran with smooth precision prior to the villagers handling of it and even in the evenings after the poor old mans hours of repairs , they blamed the old man and even the clock. The old man merely prayed the the villagers would understand each clock is unique. He prayed the villagers would find peace. That the villagers , who knew his reputation as a craftsman , would trust his input on his own handmade work.
The old man is a craftsman not a quitter. He knew his clock would never be the same but he continued to tweak and repair and rebuild. His clock was his clock. Twas beautiful to see and hear, was hardworking and persistent, was accurate and precise. It was his one of a kind unique time piece. He began to wonder if the villagers deserved such a fine instrument. If the villagers would learn to use a small screwdriver rather than a hammer to tweak his delicate instrument .

* end analogy *

Folks it's been an extremely rough few weeks. I've been exhausted from piecing my quirky and exuberant child back together. His self esteem has plummeted somewhere below the sub terrain. It's been exhausting piecing him back together and hearing everything is his fault. I guess if I were eight and heard all day I'm bad and am to blame while adults are perfect I'd be frustrated too.

What's not seen or appreciated is the amount of effort he puts in out of the class to improve his academics. Unfortunately now those hours are spent rebuilding his self esteem and psyche. We still haven't received a good answer as to why he's not in the GT classes he was slated for. We feel like we are in a manufactured snowball that is being pushed down a hill.

Alas we are the Robinson Boys ! We take ownership for our actions and expect others to do the same. We have high expectations for ourselves and others. We fight and find solutions; we are not quitters.

Thanks for reading again today folks. I suppose in still bitter and if I offended any one then come talk TO me as I've gone to the sources of my anguish. Hence part of me silence, I talk TO people before I vent.

Thanks

Letting go

Greetings y'all :

Let me cut to the chase. We had a decent weekend but quite honestly I held us back. Twas nobodies fault but my own. No this is not self flagellation but self reflection. I held on to expectations and as noted previously that leads to suffering.

To be be succinct I spent most of my time from Friday evening to Monday morning striving for a few minutes to meditate or at least quiet my mind and thoughts and clear my head. To just relax. It never happened. I was squirrelly all weekend. One might say I was downright moody . My little chattering chipmunk merely longed for my attention yet because I was not present he became more animated and I became more hypersensitive to it. Yes he is working on picking up non verbal cues and I'm working on letting go and focusing on the here and now.

We did break our three day walking record by a mile but it was considerably less pleasant than last weekend. The walks were physically easier but because of my stubbornness the conversation was harder and less positive. I pray this does not affect my lad this week. He is very sensitive and if I'm stressed he is stressed, if I'm agitated he is agitated.. That my friends is the reality of living with a Quirky and Exuberant child. I can only learn and move forward and be aware of his sensitivities. I love my wee bonnie lad, he deserves a father who is present and positive.

Thanks for reading today folks... Let go of those expectations and remain focused.

Autumnal Equinox

Greetings y'all :

The wonderful wheel of seasons has spun back around to Autumn. Why fight the progression of time? Embrace each new beginning and reflect on passing of seasons.

We are blessed in my region to have four distinct seasons. Each one is perfect but I confess as much as I love swimming and spending all day with my son when school is out for Summer , it's not my favorite season. As much as I love sledding and romping in the snow and having snow days with my son, Winter is not my favorite season. As much as I love the warm kiss of spring sunshine and bright vibrant colors, the ability to do more outdoor things with my son , Spring is not my favorite season. That leaves ( pun intended) Autumn as my favorite season! I love the smell of the leaves changing, the pumpkin pie, apple picking time with fresh apple cider and apple butter. I love the long cool hikes with my side kick, putting on an extra layer, windows open and blankets on the bed, the vibrant colors, snuggle weather... Awww

To mark the beginning of the new season Mowgli and I took a couple of wonderful hikes in the woods. We snapped our pic right at the time if the Autumnal Equinox. We hiked over 18 miles, we explored and discovered. We caught a toad - cute little bugger. We found a worm giving birth. That was totally random and bizarre. Zander said "no pictures daddy - she deserves privacy" . We discovered acorns only fall from trees on daddy and seem to miss little dude. We also discovered different oaks produce different sized and colored nuts. We demonstrated determination when he fell off a log , his first time ever falling off, but insisted on conquering said long a few minutes later. We learned no rock formation is too small, large or oddly shaped to conquer ( at least not yet) . We watched Blue Jays dancing in and out if the shadows. We chased frogs and newts. We tried new trails and even went off the trail to explore. We are the path less taken.

I love how we do our best to put each day behind us, to literally walk away from work and spend as much time as possible together. Yes he's my side kick but both the captain and the kid are independent beings who enjoy each others company. For that I am blessed.

I confess yesterday I was squirrelly. I had a notion of wanting to have a schedule and control time. I was reminded that the universe controls time and ought to remain present. My mood became sulky because I held onto expectations. I learned and adapted and we had a successful day. Buddhism teaches that holding onto expectations leads to suffering, I proved that philosophy to be true. Letting go allows openness and things to flow into us. I proved that to be true as well. Lesson learned - well played universe, well played.

Thanks for reading again folks. Now get outside and explore and discover. Observe with all your senses!

Bursting Egos

Greetings y'all ;

It occurred to me that with seven billion bipedal ambulants and homosapiens roaming the earth's crust it's easy to forget the importance of each of them, each of us and each of you. It's also easy to blame or as I prefer to reframe it - give them credit for our choices, path, decisions and consequences. At the end of the day we all close our eyes and it's just our physical vessels, our soul and creator.

I hear folks fussing and moaning and looking for ways to dodge the badge of honor known as accountability and personal responsibility. I find it interesting that people will hold others feet to the fire but won't or can't cowboy up to their own humanity. Is the human ego really so overinflated ? If so what happens when it bursts? We are all humans, we live , we learn ( hopefully ) we accept we part of a greater good.

Folks every person on this third rock from the sun is interconnected. We owe it to ourselves , each other and our creator to help each sentient being we encounter. It only takes a minute to listen- truly listen to the message others are offering, to help if that is required, to offer a smile. Every one is some ones mother, brother, sister, father, son, daughter etc... The Dalai Lama suggested , based on the Buddihist philosophy of reincarnation, that every one at some point has been or will be your mother/ father. Hmm how do you want others to treat you or your family?

Now back to this teaching my man cub the above mentioned attributes of accountability and forgiveness of self and others. Right words, right thoughts and right actions.

The "No Comfort Zone" Zone

Greetings yall:

Yes it's tech free Thursday and I'm breaking my own rule but I promise my dwindling readership this will be short and sweet. I'm learning , albeit slowly , to worry less about that which I can not control while striving to continue to improve. I was reminded yesterday afternoon that I have renewed strength and confidence in myself. Confidence to step up when necessary and confidence to sit back when necessary. It's been a hard lesson to learn but as William Blake once said " the road to excess leads to the castle of paradise" . Perhaps sometimes we need to push the limits to discover the boundaries and to discover our personal limitations. Many children do that with out forethought it rather instinctually - they will be the secure ones and the global game changes if it's done with respect for others. As a parent and educator that is a fine line to walk. As one in those roles I find it difficult to have a "no" comfort zone. To know when to say no.

Know your limits and boundaries , your comfort zone. Then push beyond it. It could be the difference between growth and stagnation.

See short and sweet today! Thanks for reading again today folks.

Connecting to our past and future

Greetings y'all :

Not much to yak about today folks . Yesterday the weather was storming but our souls were quiet. I genuinely feel a deeper connection with my son after our adventurous weekend. We needed it. My head cold/ sinus infection finally caught me and tackled me. See what happens when you slow down?

Last night I dropped the ball and we watched some telly. Yes it Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune then we watched American Experience on PBS. This episode was about death and the civil war. Twas extremely touching ,quite sad and rather informative. It really struck a chord with my progeny . He was able to get a better feel of how precious life is and reinforce the horrors of war. He made this Quaker father eternally grateful when he declared serving in the military was no longer a occupational option for him. I know several of my dedicated readers serve, served and/or have children serving. I have no ill will towards them and admire their dedication and service to our great nation. We merely the necessities of the current conflicts to be inflated. It certainly helped that they discussed Antietam and Gettysburgh, two Civil War battlefields we've visited this year. Showing history where he's trod. To learn that until Gettysburgh there were no national cemeteries and that when President Lincoln delivered his famous address four months following the battle he was surrounded by corpses and open graves. To learn that federal soldiers dropped fifty-six confederate corpses in a farmers well rather than bury them , is humbling. Yes we respect the honor of soldiers but my child now appreciates the brutal reality of war, not just the glorification that is oft times peddled.

I better move on before I alienate my viewership. I'm not getting into politics rants on this page but am flummoxed how much one wee lad can internalize a little living and walking history and brief television viewing with a parent there to talk and discuss what is being taken in. Per chance that is the key. Watch what our children watch and watch it with them. Watch how they watch, answer questions, ask questions, expand the knowledge let them own the knowledge. This may seem far fetched but let them lead themselves to greater exploration of a topic. Research online or better yet in an encyclopedia. Maybe keep a journal, many interesting facts about the humanism of history are from personal journals and letters. We saw a letter from a young man written on September 17, 1862. It starts in the morning with beautiful penmanship and quite up beat. It ends with the sad weariness and sloppiness of a boy who lay dying on the battlefield after the conflict and his fellow troops moved on.

Each breath we are granted is a blessing. Fill your hearts and souls with peace. School children say the pledge of allegiance every day. We emphasize certain words ...ONE nation under God with liberty and justice FOR ALL...I challenge you to find the common ground and good in some one you may disagree with.

Thanks for reading my run on rants again .

Spontaneity

Greetings y'all ;

So the last two days I've been illin' and ailin' . I could've and should've stayed in bed resting. But since we're the Robinson Boys we had a grand adventure on Sunday and a spontaneous day filled with history and memories yesterday. The irony is that on Sunday Zander or DJ -Z as he called himself on the musical ride home yesterday,more on that later though, asked me what our next big adventure was gong to be. My reply was perhaps we ought to visit Sharpsburg and Antietam. Little did I know we would wake up and burn all the petrol we saved the week before to drive through our gorgeous state. Like I said elsewhere- you only get one 150 yr anniversary. I was incredibly proud of my young man. He listened to the rangers and re-enactors, read every sign, absorbed the seriousness of the event, was able to visualize the events, and found little used trails to get a better feel of what the soldiers endured. He randomly the held the door for folks and let folks go first. He helped people with directions, map reading and even sat in Dunker Church and taught a young boy about the events while several people ,including a Park Ranger,listened in.

Basically I need to win the lottery so I either homeschool this amazing young man or send him to a Montessori school that matches who we are. I say that with all due respect to his wonderful instructors he has now. But my son is not built for traditional assembly line education. Once he grasps how to play the game by their rules he'll be fine. But he showed me he can handle himself alone, one to one, and in crowds. Granted we spent extended time exploring woods it just surrounded by the masses. But we also found some good swimming holes for our next visit ( we're Pisces after all). So yes DJ -Z and I walked over 45 miles in the last three days and he's not gonna have that opportunity in school but he renewed my faith in him and realized who he is is a wonderful young man thirsty for knowledge. We literally demonstrated the advantages of taking the path less travelled and avoiding being molded by a cookie cutter. He even saw first hand how insects devour dead rabbits from the inside out. My son will be fine, he'll either grow up to be a global game changer or will be a Park Ranger happily stationed in an isolated outpost. What ever happens he will joyously be himself and comfortable in his own skin.

OK so I know your curiosity is piqued a out this whole DJ-Z thang. On our way home I had the CD player off. Zander sang a delightful medley of tunes and at one point interjected " this is DJ -Z ( FYI your voice must drop an octave on the Z) coming atcha with his version of Maroon 5 ' Misery' " . He kept this up for about an hour and kept referring to himself as DJ-Z. That boy cracks me up.

So I kept my promise this weekend of smiling and laughing more. I re-connected with my progeny and watched him grow. We walked over 45 miles in three days. The latter is important because walking is great therapy for us. We learned out local, state and national history. We learned about ourselves. We will be fine. He also liked hearing humorous tales of his mother and me. He needed to be reminded of her qualities in her that carried over into him as well. History is not just what happened 150 yrs ago but what happened yesterday. It was humbling to hear an eight year old boy say - more people died in Antietam than on 9-11 but Antietam isn't on the news even though it was us killing ourselves. I reminded him of how recent the 9-11 events are and how big the crowd at the Battlefield was.

Yeah , DJ - Z is gonna be just fine.

Thanks for reading folks.

My Little Prince

Greetings y'all :

Seems we are really saving the planet. Last night we formally apologized to our car for leaving if untouched and unmoved during lovely top down weather did the last four days. Keep in mind we've walked fifty miles in those four days and made priceless and infinite memories.

I'm blessed with a little experiential Pisces. OK so we're two fish in a pond ! We've walked all over our wonderful neighborhood and yesterday we kicked it up a notch. Alexander the great chose to challenge us to a hike to Soldiers Delight, a lovely four mild walk along twisting country/suburban roads with out side walks. Once there we hiked every trail and a few side trails as well as extra exploring. Of course we also played some football and tossed the frisbee while making memories. We left the park as the sun was going to bed. Then the delight and adventurous walk home . I surprised him with a stop for ice-cream. All told yesterday was the best 10 hour 21.30 miles hike ever!

When we finally got home ,Zander asked me to read to him. He chose " The Little Prince" by Antoine De Saint-Exupery. This book is a must read for every parent, teacher and/or misunderstood person. Zander fell asleep in my arms and by golly I didn't want to go to sleep! I wanted that day to last forever. He was reminded that a rough week is just that , at the end of the day he still has me to help guide him, to love HIM - the idea of who I think he is but HIM.

Isn't that the key with all children, golly all people , creatures and things? Love that person for who they are, they have or rather are a special piece in life's puzzle. Do not assume every person and every piece is the same. How boring would that be?

Ok I'm fighting a wee a bit of a sinus infection that's spreading. There are two schools of thought. 1. Lay in bed and get some rest. 2. Work hard every day unless you're sick then work harder. Wanna guess which one I'm subscribing to?

Thanks for reading folks !

Values

Greetings y'all :

I feel asleep and woke up giggling with man cub. He reminded me I don't laugh much. I will work to improve that aspect if my life. I also woke up with a word in my head. I didn't just hear but I saw it and felt. Twas a visceral sensation. The word was .... Value!

Value is an interesting if not personal word. What is value? There is a myriad of definitions. Now what if I add an "s" to it - values? Hmm now what are values? It's something we attempt to instill in our progeny and that we exhibit , but what are they? Are they universal? Can they be universal? Ideally we find a soul mate with matching values to help us on our journey.

It's funny that we teach children to think independently as long as they fall in line and obey with out thinking . That's a conundrum.

Ok folks lets get back our adventures. The last two days we've walked to work. I love it !! It's a marvelous 2.5 mile hike to warm up before school and cool down afterwards. It also helps with daddy and dude time ( SCORE!!!!) .To be honest our days have been rocky but we are looking for ways to improve. It's a very trying time for a bright boy who has trouble behaving. I wonder if they go hand in hand.

We've had some great moments at home though. We actually watched tv. PBS aired " Legends and Myths" . We learned about Shambahla, Jason and the Golden Fleece and King Arthur . Zander also reminded me laugh more and said my smile makes him happy. The mouth of babes !

I'm cutting it short tonight to go snuggle with junior mint. We have to put the pieces back together and quiet our brains.

Thanks for reading

I've got a secret

Greetings y'all :

A-Rob and I had good days. Not perfect but good. We'll take that. I confess he wanted to walk to school, about two miles, but I blew it by dragging my heals. Then I was upset with myself, silly ol papa bear. But we have to remember not to feed the monster , who is an omnivore.

The monster grows and feeds on anger used negatively, impatience, fear , frustration, aggression , selfishness, self loathing, hate, revenge, retaliation, etc... Every time we yell at someone , seek revenge, wish harm, speak ill or think ill of others we've invited the monster to inhabit a larger portion of our lives. Sounds depressing huh? Why bother trying to defeat the monster huh? The monster can huge for some, is easily fed, and we are wee tiny humans. Alas tis useless to try, tis easier to acquiesce. That is proven by spending an hour watching tv or reading the paper or especially by going online to hear/ read vitriolic rants spewed at others.

Now here's a secret, usually I charge $99 for an all day Mindfulness Training but I'm giving it away today , but for a limited time. This one little secret is mind blowing in its simplicity, beauty and obviousness ! It's as easy as eating pie! Now who doesn't like pie? I love pie ! The secret is ........... you!

Yes folks I'm quite serious. We aren't battling the monster we are battling ourselves. But we need merely stay mindful of each moment, each action, each thought to watch the monster fade. It's always lurking in each of us. Yet if we stay present we shall build ourselves and feed our souls growing our light while subconsciously starving and sending the monster deeper into the darkness. Act with non malfeasance and see what happens. It's takes awhile but you'll discover a quieter mind which makes for a happier brain and more gentle soul.

Folks we are all interconnected. Others see our behavior and are affected by it. We have untold power to help or harm. In my humble opinion the creator put us here as helpers. With that said I'll enjoy my cuppa and prepare for another day of learning from my students, co- workers, friends, strangers, and of course A-Rob. He teaches me more than anyone can imagine.

Thanks for reading again folks .

Forgiveness

Greetings y'all :

I'll keep it brief today. As an American I know today holds special significance in our history and modern day psyche. As a Quaker it's a another day to forgive and move forward. We shall reflect on what happened and move on. This may seem unAmerican but as I teach my child and students - do not give your energies to those wish you harm, give them understanding and maintain you're own personal peace. Dwelling gives the folk your power.

This truly is a life lesson. Forgiveness is the essence of personal happiness. Forgive the broken heart, the misguided word, the act of anger. As a parent and an educator, I dare say as a sentient being, I embrace the notion of letting go and fresh starts. Every second is a learnable moment.

Yesterday was a rough day all around. Twould be easy to see the struggle and strife, dwell on them and remain in an emotional quagmire. Yet by doing that I am giving in and giving up. I am not growing, changing or learning. I've accepted defeat. I'm many things but quitter does not make it on my list. I've walked through the vacillation of fire and water that forged my steel armor.

But that is my journey. What of my precious, confused, and angry man cub? The anger is still bubbling just under the surface. He's showing the behaviors he's learned at school over the last couple of years. I see he has good teacher who is teaching him life and social skills. It's up to my young man to learn though. Yesterday afternoon was scary as I dealt with a tantrum, one of his more overt and demonstrative tantrums. I see how I could handle my end better, yet the true key to success lies in him using strategies to cope with accepting consequences.

We had a break through last night that I've been waiting for. Man Cub, after our second meditation session and while snuggling, finally confessed some fears and frustrations. He was able to, nay strong enough, to look them in the eye and call them out. It may appear to others he is just randomly mean at times. The reality is he's an eight yr old boy who has also been through fires that would render some adults useless. He's an eight yr old boy with grown up experiences and pain. He's an eight ounce glass with a gallon of water being dumped into him. He can be the water, but his little mind is overflowing with emotion. What I see as a positive is that we are dealing with learned behaviors and that he is better able to touch upon his feelings and emotions. It still means having him think- what color do you feel when you feel yada yada yada... Where is the fire in you or where do you feel it in you before you explode. I have failed on many levels as parent but am learning and will not quit on him.

Last night we talked about his magic. Magic is wonderful, it's out there and it's personal. It took me several decades to find my magic, or rather admit I had it. But to get to our personal magic we must face our "Big Green Monster" .We can't feed the monster or it will grow and grow and make it exponentially more difficult to find and grasp or our magic. I learned man cub thinks he can feed the monster until it explodes. When I asked how long would he have to feed it until it explodes he said he had no idea, it just grows. Oh my , the mind of a self reliant, quirky and exuberant child. Then talked about what might happen if you stop feeding it. " silly daddy if you don't feed something it dies or goes away" . If I may borrow from ' The Courtship of Eddies Father' you my son just put your little finger on a very big problem ( solution in our case) .

Today we forgive ourselves and others because if we don't forgive with our entire being we feeding the monster and will never get our magic.

Thanks for reading again today.

Uniqueness

Greetings y'all :

Windows were open all night and got down to 55f. It's funny how that's cause for an extra blanket this time if year but in the spring it means sleeping atop the covers. Seriously though this is one tough morning to break from snuggling with Z . I love my job and co-workers ( I consider the "students" my teachers and since we all strive to achieve they are my co-workers as well.) But let's face it I'd rather spend time with my offspring. He grows every day.

Yesterday Z cleaned his room while followed his directions. He had to plan and predict where to put things. He'd then had to consider how soon he'd use things sort , purge, and in general took ownership of his domain, his ship.

Naturally like any self respecting domestic god Z decided we needed to bake after that. He chose a new recipe for cinnamon swirl bread. Yummy! Needs some tweaking but what in life doesn't ? It still tasted delicious especially with the left soup he made. He spoils his old man.

He did watch a few minutes if football but realized it didn't matter. Lots of money and stress over something that is not reality. It's a great way for people to unite and forget about reality for a few hours, provided they realize it's not reality.

We wanted a hide away stay in day. Therefore we did a bunch of reading, playing and had two twenty meditation sessions. That was amazing, humbling and precious. Yeah I'm man enough to see the beauty in the wee small things.

Like I said it was cool night but great for sleeping! I woke up thus morning at what seemed like a logical part of a dream. Not the end of the dream but end of a chapter, knowing the dream will continue. The last words I heard were - every child , every person is different. Ok I knew it was a dream because I was married to a wonderful woman and he had a blended and extended family. We discussed if giving children a room full of things helps it hurt the child. But what is too much and what is too little? We decided values and character are the best things to give. The children will appreciate what they have rather than pine for what they want. (no I hadn't indulged in alcohol yesterday)

Folks tis time to bid my semi-daily adieu. I'll leave you with he latest Zander quote, this one came from a little voice in the shower " daddy can you bring me my goggles so I can keep the soap out of my eyes?"


Thanks for reading folks.

Less Words

Greetings y'all :

We'll folks its Sunday ,ahhh sit back and relax day. We don't have enough petrol to get to Friends Meeting so we shall relax and meditate at home. The windows are open and it appears to be a splendid day. Coffee is ready and so are we.

Yesterday was delightful, oh me oh my oh how I love Saturdays in the fall! Why? Well jeepers thanks for asking ....College Football. Yeppers it's my vice. It doesn't hurt that my baseball team is in a pennant chase also but I prefer college football over the NFL. ( go ahead ahead throw some barbs at me I can take it ) To me NCAAF is about kids playing a game for the passion of playing. Just my opinion.

Ok with that said we watched a little NCAAF before I removed the tv again. It may seem harsh but it's the consequence I gave, after warnings, for over reacting to games and for an over the top tantrum. The tantrum ended , after a time in that we both spent in his weather alert safety zone. Hey some kids have forts mine has a weather alert safety zone. Love that little odd ball. Without the telly Zander randomly chose a workbook about the presidents. He completed the entire book , on his own. He put another notch in his perseverance belt. What's a fella to do when his 8 1/2 yr old son thanks him for taking the tv away?

Let me back track for a minute because that's what a meandering mind of a ADD dad does. The day was not just him getting upset over a team having to punt it was actually filled with him mostly watching sports nicely and him cooking and helping clean up our humble abode. He made a delicious pot of Zander's Three Bean Gypsy Soup accompanied by fresh baked simple wheat bread. The weather was threatening and the food was comforting.

Not much to report today folks. We sailed through rough seas and realized it was just a little squall. Hmm perception is reality. Sorry had to do it . A wise young man once told me " less words" and that really is the key to helping man cub maintain and not picking up the rope i.e.: getting into a tug of war or engaging him. Being that my young man is self reliant he will get the last word in and try to play dad tv or whoever is engaging him tv. Hmm it comes back to the tv .

I'll leave you with a pair of Alexander "the Great" Robinson quotes.

" Thank you for giving birth to me and for being my mommy/daddy"

"I'll be the veggie chef, soup chef and bread chef. You can be the fish chef"

Thanks for stopping by and for reading today. My apologies but no pithy parting words Never mind I can't resist, folks try a little experiment today- expect graciousness and kindness and in anticipation of them give them freely.

Perception is reality

Greetings y'all :

The weekend is here and there's lots to be done around the humble Robinson abode. I loathe housework , but at least I have a house to clean. I'm flummoxed because I was only paid for one week but expected and needed to be paid for two. My credit rating has plummeted this year anyway with the additional medical expenses I had for Mowgli. But at least I have a job. While I'd prefer a nationalized health care I'm lucky to have a job and be able to have insurance for my family. Sure Zander keeps asking for a mommy but we both know we're lucky to have each other.

Perception..... is reality

Is the glass half full? Half empty? Or like me are you happy to have a glass ?

I saw enormous growth from Alexander the Great this week. It came with immense struggle. As one person said " he can read at talk about things as a young adult with great comprehension then we forget he's only eight and hasn't learned to control all his big emotions " quite honestly I fought back tears when I heard that. Another person told me she sees a kind boy trying to get out, I had to hug her. Zander's battling the age old conflict of man vs. himself.

These positive affirmations to him and about him are important. The last two years at school he's been told he is bad and is mean. The negatives were highlighted. Naturally he lived up , or rather down, to those labels.

Perception is reality.

I wonder what would happen if he were placed in a challenging academic environment? Maybe even skip a grade like I pleaded for and tested him for back in K and 1? I'm pleased with his teacher this year, great job stressing cooperation but can't help but wonder about surrounding him more academically advanced peers. He was slated for GT until he was placed in BLS . Oh I understand his behavior holds him back . Could the fact he's not been challenged be a factor in these learned behaviors?

Perception is reality

We are the Robinson Boys and play the hand we are dealt. Doesn't mean we aren't looking to build a better mouse trap though. By golly we're Pisces we are always mulling over ways to improve.

Now for something completely different...

By gum I have some good friends. Not just Facebook friends who randomly pop into your life and have no stake in your life but down to earth angels. One is going through personal hell and is an inspiration to the universe, another has physical issues but is always smiling and a deep rich soul, another is suffering from cardiac break apartus but doesn't see their personal light yet, another manages to just keep moving forward, yet another unknowingly is teaching me to be a better man/father/ person. Resiliency and honesty are what keeps us all moving forward. I'm honored to have friends who reach for me and to me. That was lacking for years because of a situation I allowed myself to be in. Yeppers years of DV and follow up therapy and I still blame myself.

Look at each moment , if it's a learnable moment of struggle and thus growth we ought to ask ourselves " do I have a problem or does the problem have me ?" l if it's the former then you own it, you have choices. You can solve and resolve. If its the latter then you'll be stuck in that quagmire for some time until you own it and take control.

Perception is reality.

I'll leave you with a pair of John Lennon quotes .

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination"

" There's no problems only solutions"

Thanks reading today folks !

Smooth sailing on rough seas

Greetings y'all :

Aww what a delightful Tech Free Thursday! We enjoyed plenty if conversation, laughter, and reading. We really needed it too after two long and rather eventful if not interesting days. But you know our mantra- we are the Robinson Boys !

Wednesday was a day of learning and growth on many levels. But that is the key - to learn. Thursday was another day of growth and learning. Perfection is unattainable and unrealistic. I don't expect it from anyone. It may appear I expect it from myself but I seek improvement and growth.

Every moment us a learnable moment. Life is impermanent therefore failures and successes are fleeting. Suffering comes from holding on to either one. Others choices are strictly that , their choices. We can choose how we act, react and feel. I choose not to allow others to make me feel what I don't want to feel.

I'm lucky to be surrounded by supportive and professional co- workers. I guess that last little diatribe was for man cub and some friends who are experiencing rough seas. Be the captain of your ship.

Love of Learning

Greetings y'all :

Well it's hump day already. As I write this exposition I realize we had little rising action thus far and if yesterday/ last night was our climax then we're in for a quiet week. Most of my characters gave seen little action and conflict and therefore limited resolution. In conclusion I hope every one has a wonderful Wednesday.

Ok folk bonus points if you can tell what we are working on in language arts.


Yesterday , after my little man worked through his home work, we returned for his follow up visit for his mini volcano. He fought through his mental block on his homework and did terrific! It doesn't hurt that I've taught third grade math before. Seems for the first time ever the water proof bandage bothered him. Had some irritation around his wound. I felt horrible. They redressed his abscess, which looks much better, and told me how to help heal the rest of the fresh irritation. They doctor said no swimming for a week. After she left A-Rob burst out laughing and said " daddy the pool is closed - it was worth it!" How can you not live that spirit!

It was back to school night. First off WOW a PTA run by parents and not the admin! This PTA is amazing ! That staff at my sons school did a great job preparing for back to school. More unseen hours folks don't realize underpaid teachers put in. Most teachers I know work 7-5 in order to be prepared and to integrate and differentiate for little Johnny. Not to mention the hours put in at home on night, weekends, and holidays. As well as the extra money they spend to make lessons work or for students who don't have money for supplies. I've met only dedicated professionals. Oh I should mention I work as a paraeducator in the same school my child attends.

Last night Zander's teacher said he has to read fifteen minutes every night. I told her not to tell him. When she asked why I said because he reads about two hours every night and I'd hate to seem him reduce that. At she laughed, but there was a painful kernel of truth it that jestful comment. A couple of years ago Zander was reading two to four hours a night and logging all his steps( a step being fifteen minutes) he was told to stop reading because others were cheating to catch up to him. Not way to go you raised the bar let's teach the others to be honest. Or yay you found what you excel at let's celebrate you,but stop reading. We worked through it and hopefully are returning to a love of learning.

Coffee is ready , who wants a cup?

Thanks for reading today.

Captain and the kid

Greetings y'all:

Well looks like its back to reality today. Glad I have a job to return to after Labor Day. Prayers to everyone still seeking employment. I would posit I'm also tremendously fortunate because I enjoy spending days with Man Cub. Sure we have our moments of discord but it's mostly harmonious and always loving and entertaining.

Every night as we read we listen to our soundtrack which consists of "Beautiful Boy" (we sing this to each other because I've sung it him every night since he was a bump) Courtship of Eddies Father" "Fireflies" " The Fishin' Hole -Andy Griffith Theme" "Somewhere over the rainbow/what a wonderful world" ( Iz's version) "Crayola doesn't make a color for your eyes" . This play list expands as we grow. He's recently begun requesting "captain and the kid" "Jolly man" and "nine million bicycles " The point is its part of our ritual, the fabric of our lives. The soundtrack is part of our song line.

Yesterday was rainy and sunny , hot and cool , dark and light day. The weather was persnickety and inconsistent. Plenty of rain, occasional thunderstorm, and sporadic sunshine. Since it was Labor Day we opted to work together on house work then go swimming. Now that's quality decision making right there. We only had to evacuate once because of thunder storms - note to self next don't leave towels on chairs- but still swam in the rain and the sun when it came out to play. I was proud of Man Cub because during thunder break he played sweetly with a disappointed young lad. Brother bear would make a fine older brother.
We opted for the fitness center during the downpour then returned to pool. By now y'all know Junior Mint has to be the last man standing. So yes he was last person in the pool for the season. He cracks me up.

We came home and A-Rob decided we needed closing ceremonies. What else would a future Olympian think? He selected some Hawaiian slack key guitar music as he made brownie pops while I cooked the menu of his choice (salmon , brown rice and broccoli ) I was lucky to get any. After our feast it was snuggle up and read time , of course with the aforementioned soundtrack.

Sure we had hiccups yesterday but we talked about proactive ( preventive ) versus reactive choices. The decision dollars are working out nicely. He's accepted that he can earn them or get fined. He's caught himself a few times before he got fined. It's not a natural consequence but it's a visual clue and cue of certain behaviors.

Well folks time for coffee, shower and reality. Hope you enjoyed today's ramblings about the Robinson Boys adventures. Remember all feedback is welcome.

My little 102 month old man cub

Greetings y'all ;

For those of us in the Etats Unis Happy Labor Day. For the rest of the universe Happy 102 Month Birthday Mowgli!
In honor of his 8 1/2 yrs. of smiling at me and bringing me joy we shall make brownie pops!

It's been a great weekend folks. We've visited the farmers market and Trader Joes, tried dates and figs for the first time- delish! Ok I'm adding to figs to my personal list of perfect foods! I can live on figs, watermelon, edamame, coconut water, spinach .... Well and the occasional key lime rum and mango concoction or rum runners.

We did some swimming , don't even act surprised. We played and read and snuggled , again don't act surprised. We even watched the 'Bama football game, again don't act surprised. We finally made it to Friends Meeting Sunday morn. I steered our ship through icebergs and didn't let go of the helm. We needed that. It's a beautiful and humbling thing to watch my quirky and exuberant man cub sitting in quiet meditation for twenty minutes.

We followed Friends Meeting with a run to Express Care. Junior Mint had a little bug bite on his hip that was expanding. My brave little monkey had to get it taken care of. He screamed but the doctor reminded him he hadn't even picked up the needle. We laughed and wrapped up the visit, but not before Zander asked " will this affect my swimming" . Doctor said wear your waterproof bandages and have fun. So we got the antibiotics , came home, switched bandages and swam.

The antibiotics are given by syringe. It's like he's a new born all over again! He survived the first weeks of life on this plane by suckling on my thumb and me slowly feeding him with a syringe. You've come a long way little dude!

Again I can not imagine life with out my progeny! Joy and pain are what makes us grow. I am humbled to write my song line with my first mate. You've made me a better human being. With that said its time for the captain and the kid to .....

Thanks for reading again today folks!

Blue Moon

Greetings y'all ;

Well folks its a beautiful blue moon this morning. We watches it rise last evening and I'm watching it creep across the western sky this morn. Less than four hours sleep for papa bear last night. I don't feel stressed just that mind is busy. Oh and late night caffeine. The bonus is the door to our apartment building is framed in rose bushes. Aww the smell of roses, the rare blue moon, accompanied by a chorus of crickets. Only thug missing is my side kick , but since it's only 04:45 I think I'll let him sleep. As I sit here in reminded of days gone by. When man cub and I would sleep along the river under the stars . I miss those days.Oops guess who just came to snuggle up?

We taught about stress management in health yesterday and the kids said I'm always stress free. Hey just because I wear fun ties and aloha shirts on Friday, just because I'm usually smiling and don't get upset doesn't mean I'm stress free. The kids asked my ways to relieve stress. Hmm they said your always eating fruit, smiling and singing. They're onto me I guess. Funny thing is I'd just dropped an open brown marker on my white pants and my best aloha shirt had ripped. They saw me laugh it off, attempt to remedy it and continue smiling and joking. I'm human.

So I owe Mowgli an apology. Seems the pool was open until 8 all week and I assumed it closed at 7 as per usual. We left at 18:45 every night. Then again we maintained our school night routines. Last night we swam to a cacophony of cricket and kids playing in field next to the pool. Twas grand!

Ok y'all know the boy wonder has bean wonderful. (forgive me universe for bragging please don't punish us for it) I decided to work on a token economy with the lad. We will use decision dollars. He can earn dollars based on his decisions. He can lose dollars based on decisions. We are working out a specific dollar amounts based on actions and reactions and I supposed proaction. We are also working out the menu for spending the dollars. The menu thus far is mostly free things like additional Zander led time. The idea is to help lead him toward the path of being pro active and non reactive. I'll keep ya posted.

Folks enjoy your weekend, for us crazy Americans its Labor Day weekend. So enjoy your long weekend if you get it. It means more time to make memories.

Thanks for reading y'all !

Personal Challenges

Greetings y'all :

Yes I took yesterday off from writing the blog and for a very good reason. I overslept . OK so it's s not so good reason.

Brief recap then y'all . Wednesday was quite wonderful . We both had good days at school. Young Master Robinson likes doing his homework in my classroom after school. This year he has been conducive to my help if he has questions or to my redirection if he needs it. Ahh I'll take it !

Wednesday evening was library to get his first "Black Eye Susan" book. He's challenged himself to read all the grade 4-6 books and grade 6-9 books and a handful of the high school books (which I will pre-read for content, subject and language) . Last night he read chapter 4 of "Blue Comet" aloud to me and started a dictionary. The dictionary is going to be words he encounter but does not know the meaning. After library we swam , or rather as he said - he trained. We encountered a trio of children who have traditionally bullied Zander. These children followed him wherever he moved. Zander was being respectful and mindful of they right to play in a community pool. They jumped on him, threw balls at him, hit him and jumped in front of him. Zander would apologize and find a new location. We both told the children that Zander was training and to please be mindful that he is giving them space, but alas twas to no avail. At one point the oldest pointed his finger at me and made shooting sounds while his mother laughed. We remained calm and I ended up swimming laps as well. We choose peace.

Thursday was another great day too. Zander had some tough homework . Glad I've taught third grade math and know what is expected for BCRs . I was proud of my little man for working diligently and accepting when erred. Like I mentioned we read for about two hours but after swimming of course. We are mourning the pending ending of the pool season. Guess where we'll be this weekend?

Happy Friday one and all! Remain present because the future is just round the bend. It's the next breath.

Thanks for reading y'all !

IF by Rudyard Kipling

This ,quite simply is for my son. I love you son, I believe in you . 

IF 

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son! 

Rudyard Kipling

Phelpsian effort

Greetings y'all ;

Well I suppose our reflection and self flagellation paid off for at least one day. Yesterday we both had good days. It didn't start off that way though. I woke up early to get me time , but a few moments later so did he. I refused to give up the helm of the ship and stayed on course. He chose the path of tantrum. I remained calm and tried all my strategies to redirect him. He wanted to play dad tv but that channel was disconnected. When it was time to leave I merely said " I'm leaving in five minutes" he said "ok I need to brush my teeth, Love you!" We both went forth and had terrific Tuesdays.

Last evening was relaxing, math games, and swimming. Zander put forth a Phelpsian effort and swam one hundred laps in the pool! We , the life gaurs and I,were impressed! It's amazing seeing his independence manifest itself in a positive effort. Yes he challenged me to swim one hundred laps on our next pool visit. He's got no concept that I'm an old man.

We came home from that an snuggled up listening to Matilda on Audiobook, after reading to each other for an hour.

I'll take this day, like every other, burn it into my memory cells. Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you and somedays you share a meal with the bear.

Have a wonderful Wednesday ! " Have a fruitful day" jimmy buffet


Thanks for reading folks !

Non malfeasance

Greetings y'all ;

"I hear babies cry and I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know . And I think to myself - what a wonderful world "

Well folks one down and just one hundred seventy nine days left until the end of the school year. Yes counting down is controversial but it helps me realize how precious each moment if each day is. Personally I had a good first day of school. I made a few mistakes that are correctable and I'm blessed with working with a great teacher who knows how to run a classroom and teach me as well as the students. Its a pleasure watching and learning from him. Crikey I'm not even the best dressed man anymore .

Zander had a long day. Great day except for his meltdown o'clock crisis. He wanted his afternoon snack to avoid his melt down , didn't happen plus it came an hour earlier because he was up an hour earlier. We , no scratch that , he had a crisis and now has an earlier meltdown o'clock. He knows he has to push through it and get his snack at the end of the day.

Karate was challenging for him as well. He only had a light dinner before going and was tired. He had trouble with his self control during sparring, again. Once again I looked at a parent and told her " we have two minutes until karate is over, they will run late and in four minutes he will lose it."Four minutes later he lost it. He was given additional exercise at the end and then threatened with losing his stripes.

Ok I can't defend his actions. I do know I will make a better schedule for us and follow my instincts regarding his ability to participate in evening activities. Again his action have consequences for him, my job is ensure the consequences are natural and logical and are non malfeasance while helping him to learn and still believe in himself. He is brave,he is kind, he wise, yet he is still a babe.

I believe in you my son, I believe in you. I pray you believe in yourself and learn to accept imperfection in yourself and others.

Thanks for reading again today,

ALL things are possible!

Greetings y'all :

Yesterday was an epic fail on my part . Nope don't try convincing me otherwise. I simply blew it . I was not a good captain of out ship . I saw an ice berg and went full steam into it then blamed the ice berg and the crew. The reality is I failed miserably. I chose my actions and reactions but neglected to be proactive.

The Dalai Lama teaches us that anger comes from selfishness, put others first and anger will cease. Life is suffering and suffering comes from holding onto expectations. Most of the time I do that, I've stated that the universe is much happier when I step aside and focus on others. I let go of personal expectations. Yesterday I dropped the ball. I , dogmatically held onto personal expectations. I let my stress and anxiety out of their Pandorian box. Had I taken a few moments to listen, think , observe, and feel empathy I would have nipped it in the bud and this blog would be different because the day would have been different. But this my friends is my reality, warts and all

A very dear friend reminded me I am a Pisces as is my progeny. We are a sensitive people, sensitive to others emotions. When I say I must be mindful of my mood that is what I mean. If I feel or project any emotion my wonderful progeny picks up on it. That includes calm and anxiety. This insight helped show a new path of healing. We are both sensitive to vibes and I've been able to subconsciously work it out. Zander however is merely eight and half years old ( at this in this lifetime) and was not aware of that hyper-sensitivity to moods in a room. Now we both know to be aware of it and to be wary of it. He can now focus in on the calm force and not feed or feed off the wild energy of others. Infuse others with calm.

I do not absolve others or myself of actions, reactions or choices. I reflect on my thoughts, words and action . I attempt greater understanding of root causes. Change occurs deep with in not on the surface. Tis time to take the helm of our ship and steer clear of icebergs. To ensure the crew they have a calm and capable captain.

My progeny commences his journey into third grade today. Yes I wonder where the time went. But as he so sweetly said this morning " wow I'm a third grader! When I was a baby I didn't even know this was possible!" Son - with you ALL things are possible! Godspeed young man!

Forward

Greetings y'all :

So yesterday is history but oh what wonderful day it was! We had old fashioned morning of visiting the farmers market, book thing, a local park thats been restored then home for swimming , snuggling and reading.

We scored to great books on tape sets at BookThing* ! We found Roald Dahl reading four of his books and also found Alice in Wonderland, Jungle Book and Aesop . Not the Disney butchered versions but the unabridged real versions. We also stumbled upon a few excellent books. Gotta love a free book exchange coop!

I admit I already messed up today's schedule. Friends meeting is still on summer schedule so we missed our service. I'm a tad discombobulated now. I think we both needed to get our God on today. Alas no use dwelling on it , we'll just meditate here. But I confess I get greater clarity and a personal message at meeting, even if no one rises to speak. I'll hold you all in the light as we progress through our lives.

Tomorrow is back to school for us. There is a palpable sense of excitement and anxiety for both of us. I see that I need to clean the house prior to diving into the rat race and he wants to hold onto summer time, ok I do to. Reality stinks - ha ha ha. Perhaps he's stressed that I said after today the tv is going bye- bye again for awhile ?

Forward is the only direction we know so time for some meditation,housework,swimming and ???