Getting even with an odd year

Greetings Y'all :

     Here we sit on the cusp of a new year, which happens to also be a new moon.  Endings oft times mean melancholic reflections of the past and excited trepidation of the the next step. That's just human nature. Considering I am considerably human I too shall reflect and remember the future . 

    This past year has been an interesting one to say the least.  A year of natural and unnatural vacillations.  Mowgli and I have slayed many dragons and seemingly been defeated by many a well. But as Frank Sinatra sings in Thats Life "Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face i just pick myself up and get back in the race" 

     Two thousand thirteen was an odd year numerically , socially , emotionally and economically . Ace and I let go of old negative influences and embraced not just positive influences but the notion we deserve positive influences.  We started the year off as the quixotic Robinson Boys tilting against windmills. Fighting demons few saw or accepted . We pressed on with our moral compasses in tact.  We fell on our faces and kept getting back in the race.  We were Sisyphus constantly rolling our world of troubles up the hill only to have it roll back down in an ad nauseum cycle of futility . But when one is in a situation the solution is often difficult to disseminate. 

     Eventually we got through the summer and pressed on. We saw a light at the end of the tunnel. We discovered helpful and loving neighbors ,anamazing administration, staff and support at his school and a good woman for my companionship . We still struggled but made huge strides. Alas the that light at the end of a tunnel was a fast approaching train . We took it head on and while it seemed we had been destroyed we had in fact found what we needed. 

   We needed to completely reevaluate and rebuild . From the ashes the Phoenix doth rise above and soar to creative new heights. So like Daedalus I  had to watch my Icarus fly into the sun and crash. I also got to watch him go through his chrysalis and emerge as the wonderful butterfly I knew he was. I admit I had to transform as well. Lets give a round of applause to neural plasticity !  

     For you sports fans the first six innings we were getting schooled but our bats and gloves came alive in the seventh as we rallied to pull victory from the jaws of defeat. We discovered some amazing pinch hitters and a solid bull pen. 

     The last few months we found our tribe and renewed our relationships with God. We found out who has our six in a positive supportive manner and who are our sunny day friends. We learned who can handle the rain. We are a blessed couple of guys here. We still  have a long hard row to hoe. But we shall prosper emotionally, spiritually and socially . 

     We can't change the past , only learn from it. The past created our present which we must remain in so we can progress to the future. I've made and will make mistakes . I am human . I hope I learn from my mistakes but as a good friend told me  -we must learn to forgive ourselves for not forgiving ourselves. The only way we fail is by quitting . So lets embrace our humanity and foibles and  the wondrous challenges of life and remember no matter what we are still remain  on this rock from the sun as it continues to take trips around the sun. 

     Every clock should just say NOW because the time is always now . Embrace the beauty of your now for it is your future memories . 

Godspeed and Healthy and Merry New Year !!!

Thanks for reading again today friends . 

      

International Day of Peace

Greetings y'all :

I've got a feeling today's journal will be a jumbled up gobbdly gook meandering mish mash with a myriad of mental gymnastics,. A veritable gumbo of thoughts, or not .Lets  see since this bear of very little brains is also scattered brained it doesn't really mater where I start since I'm already  typing . 

I hope everyone is well since we  last met.  We are doing what we do best, bobbing and weaving , adapting and moving forward . Junior Mint , in Junior Mint fashion , has had his ups and downs.but mostly up. He's still struggling self control and letting others take the lead . He's got great classroom support and help from his school. It's up to him to believe in himself. 

I've entered a new phase of my life. I've found a woman who is a strong partner and who accepts both of us . She has bonded  with him , to the point that he opens up to her. She is nonjudgmental and intuitive. She put her lovely finger on his problem - he's not a pain , he's in pain . I cried when she said that because I knew it , one other person sees it and now her.

 My heart aches for my son . He wants to  bare his soul but is scared at how much it hurts to do so.  It helps growth but is extraordinarily painful to open wounds and cleanse them.  I hate seeing him hurt but he must face his pain and own it to dispel it. 

I don't know , I just don't know .   I know I have a great boy and a good woman . Makes me feel blessed . 

Have a peaceful Autumn. 

Thanks for reading again . 

Finding your tribe

Greetings y'all ,

I may have written about finding your tribe previously but life is not linear. So here's my take on one the socio- emotional trends. Like everything else this is my take , my opinion , my view point. 

Folks know that it takes a village to raise a child but not many realize or appreciate it takes a tribe to raise an adult . Yes raise an adult . How many of is go through life on cruise control ? How many of us are unhappy with our career choices ? With our peer choices ? 

Lets analyze that - choices . Life is about choices . I choose to be open , open to others and open to change in life and myself . That means I need to choose people who support that attitude and philosophy. By choosing those people I leave some folks on the periphery but I also pull others into my inner circle . 

I have chosen a career , or perhaps it has chosen me , that lifts me up and nourishes my soul . I find I am surrounded by individuals who are like minded in their desire to help others and by students who bring out the best in me. I look forward to the challenges I face each day as ways to grow and learn. 

I've recently allowed people into my inner circle on a personal level. It's made a tremendous difference because they are like minded. My tribe is making me a better man , parent and educator . I thank you all .

Thanks for reading again folks . 

Never Forget

Greetings y'all , 

No doubt we will hear Never Forget as the mantra on this sad day in American and world history . Tragic events that are still not completely understood . However I will write today for a slightly different and askewed stance. 

Never Forget-  the loved ones still in your life 

Never Forget- to be grateful for the little things in life 

Never Forget-  to hug your kids, mates, loved ones on the way out the door.

Never Forget-  to tell people the positive things you see in them , 

Never Forget- to express love and peace 

Never Forget- to forgive 

Thanks for reading again today .

Holy Marshmallow shooters batman !

Greetings y'all ,

Yet another interesting weekend is in the books . Friday night was dinner with friends , Saturday evening was a raucous adventure and Sunday was the local festival . I learned quite a lot this weekend. I learned I ought to follow my instincts regarding my sons bedtime. I learned my son may say the occasional cheeky word but is a good boy deep down . Ok so I already knew that one. As I told my progeny sometimes its the volume used with the words not the volume of words used.

 Saturday was a one of those loud days with lots of children being children. Sadly I realized I'm becoming "that guy" the loudness was overwhelming. But the kids were being good , just exuberant. Part of our tribe addressed his vocabulary choice. We are still working on dropping the weak cheeky words for strong powerful words. He's getting there, it's incremental . 

Sunday was a wonderful day. Junior Mint and I woke up and opted for our infamous Ovaltine pancakes for breakfast. The best part ? He fixed them. I love those moments when we slow everything  down and reconnect. After breakfast we walked up to the Reisterstown Festival with friends.  Good conversation, good times, and good music ensued. Quite honestly with out these friends we'd still have adventures but they would be the isolation activities I prefer such as hiking or staying inside even if we went to big crowded places we'd be in our bubble . My quirky and exuberant child is an extrovert and I am an introvert.

At the festival junior mint happily petted several reptiles and a friend bought him marshmallow shooter. ( cue sense of dread and foreboding) guess what though ? He was amazing! He used the shooter where and how he was instructed . At one point we went to the files so I could throw a frisbee in the air for him to skeet shoot. When his two friends went to the playground he readily accepted that he should shy away from it because he gets wound up. Instead he played with his new toy, played football with new folks he met, played baseball with school chums, and had a stellar time. He was given.$5 to spend and spent it wisely without asking for anymore. We showed off how amazing he can be to the whole community including some of his staff at school, neighbors , and school chums. 

Naturally we finished the night with a good snuggle. Yeah I'd say it was a good weekend.

The unexpected

Greetings y'all ,

Ok so we finally slept in today , unfortunately we missed a commitment we'd made. But we've been cleaning and singing and reflecting . I have spent the week in the zone of the unexpected . 

My sons teacher has him figured , that's not unexpected because she's fantastic. I suppose it's a pleasant surprise that his teacher sees what I do and can help him and me. Again I'm not surprised she can its more that I've spent years watching my slip and be taught learned behaviors that are hard to break. Now this amazing educator is tasked with retraining him. It's gonna be a great year. 

Some of y'all know I like to write . I write this journal, I write lyrics, poetry , short stories etc... I've recently taken up writing letters again. What a great way to tell some one the positives they bring to your life . This was an unexpected joy . 

Y'all probably know I'm a hopeless romantic and cock eyed optimist . But I'm also of the mindset that it's hard to catch the Robinson Boys. In part because I lack the confidence that I'm worthy . I've had an unexpected happy surprise of late. I'm not used to being accepted much less both of being accepted. It's good to have friends and extra eyes. It's a good feeling , didn't know it could/would/should happen.  

I suppose I ought to finish cleaning and get ready to Carpe Diem . 

Thanks for reading again today folks . 

Happy New Year

Greetings y'all , 

* Warning - this will be one of those stream of consciousness , rambling , meandering posts. You are urged to grab a large cup of coffee. It's ok I can wait.  (sings/whistles Andy Griffith theme song while waiting ) Welcome back my friends, let us begin .

Yesterday was the Jewish new year . So happy new year everyone. For us it seems like it came right on time. Junior Mint and I celebrated a new month and now a new year. September has been a month of hope and promise thus far. I am trying very hard to remember to savor each moment. By not dwelling in the past, by staying present and not stressing over the road yet to come I've noticed several doors opening up. 

Yogi Berra once said " when you come to a fork in the road  , take it " and I warned you this post will meander so.....

Team Junior Mint is still rocking . The only one not pulling his weight is Ace himself. He's got a new set of incentives. September will be the hardest month for him as he grows and discovers himself. His team will keep working with him. I told him that this month I will be very strict with him but that eases as he exhibits better independent decision making. The difference this year is that I have my tribe behind me and I stand firmly behind his teacher. One set of expectations across the board. One strong team and one amazing boy, a veritable recipe for success. 

Wednesday night we helped part of our tribe move. Fortunately they stayed within our building but still, he was reminded how many people love him. He also saw his father show his strength by acquiescing power. We talk about being the one in control means we have the power and ability to let others lead. He saw me have the confidence to step back, he saw the rewards of me doing that. 

It's quite possible my introverted tendencies have kept us from many social occasions . I feel socially awkward and get nervous. Suddenly though I seem to have a network and a tribe that is an extension of us.  I suppose a single dad who lacks social graces and is introverted and an only child who lacks social graces but is an extrovert could use a strong understanding tribe. Our blood family would help if we were closer. Our blood family is a few hours away but now he, or we, have family here. The onus is on me to rise up to their level of support and show my progeny the proper way to interact . To accept others by giving more than we receive .  Perhaps I stumbled on a previous issue. I have always felt I had little to offer and wasn't worthy of others. I did not want help because I had nothing to offer in return.  

Ok time to refill my mug o' joe .....

I'm back my friends . Since we were off yesterday and the previous night was filled with limited sleep and the weekend was filled with play and jocularity that meant housework beckoned. We made our infamous homemade bread and soup , we did laundry and I put on Pandora Radio to get us moving. It worked except moving meant almost four hours playing guitar and singing and dancing . Although to Junior Mint's credit he did read for close to six hours yesterday. He also helped me tutor a wonderful young scholar. So even though I dragged my tail-fin and neglected housework it was a day of growth . 

We can push through today . And get to the weekend. I think we'll be ok. 

FYI - you successfully navigated my meander mental maze and reached the conclusion. Reach way up high and pat yourself on the back. 

Thanks again for reading today folks. Remember it doesn't matter where you've been and you never really know where you're headed so stay in the present. 

In the still of the night

Greetings y'all ,

Once again I find myself facing the impending sunrise with a hot cup of coffee and a myriad of thoughts pin balling  through my busy little brain. The difference is that while I have a cornucopia of concerns I also have a plethora of pleasantries of late. I suppose the key is to use the positives as motivation to lessen the negatives . My mind as been put at ease ever so slightly knowing I have supports and especially knowing my offspring will have his best year ever . 

Yesterday I surprised Ace when I stood firm and was truly captain of the ship again. In a situation that I would have traditionally coddled I expressed disappointment in his choices and reiterated my unwavering high expectation. Firm , fair and loving. He rose to the expeditions with glee and verve and was happy to have met my standards and his teacher's expectations. 

He's still a work in progress but I sense the amount of concentrated energy his school , community and I are putting into him will pay dividends before we know it. This is the hard work of time consuming investments before the growth. As he's learned in school and reiterated through out the community 

Never give up 

Encourage others

Do YOUR best  

( http://www.thenedshow.com/ ) 

Thanks for reading again folks 

strange waters

Greetings y'all ,

First of all I'd like to thank everyone for their wonderful and creative advice for helping my son improve his word choice. I sought out and received advice from a variety of venues and resources. The most surprising was the unexpected and surprise intervention  he got last night. Junior Mint wrote an apology letter to the boy and his mother and was very humble when we delivered it.  While we were there another neighbor stopped by. My son found himself surrounded by five adults from the neighborhood who adore him, believe in him , and are raising the expectations for him.  Being accountable to me is one thing but now he's accountable to many others who have my back. 

That was amazing . I am so used to flying solo and having a me/us against the world mentality. I'm used to hearing you've got a great child but his choices aren't good then leaving me isolated . Now suddenly we find four neighbors who are reaching out to help him and me. Tis strange waters I be navigatin' . 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is his year. Heck it might just be our year! I've found some strange creatures to talk to recently , they are called adults. I believe I could get used to this and I believe in Junior Mint.

Once again thanks for reading again to folks .

Potty mouth advice

Greetings y'all ,

Well folks its rare but I am seeking advice. My son suddenly started spewing vulgarities this weekend . He'd drop an occasional cheeky word before but this weekend would've made a sailor blush. I'm seeking advice how to curb this and nip it in the bud.   

Thanks 

A work in progress

Greetings y'all ,

Let me begin by saying Happy Labor to everyone. I am grateful for a good job and a wonderful son so I can enjoy this holiday. For y'all outside the USofA. Labor Day is a day to celebrate the workers. Conditions were once horrendous , we may be headed that way again, but the unions allowed for better wages and work conditions . 

Now back to our regularly scheduled journal. As you may recall I forced my progeny to work hard on Saturday so we may could enjoy the next two days. Guess what ? Yesterday was awesome ! Oh yes my wee bonnie lad had his share of fits and starts but I discovered something truly humbling and amazing. I have a support system  

That may seem minor but for a man who's been this doing this solo for so long it was humbling. I had not one but two people who see the light and promise in my child and embrace him when he acts out, when he's accustomed to being shunned. It's truly been years since we had anyone who would accept us, yesterday we found two. Some of the best advice I received was " he's a work in progress" .

We swam and played for seven hours yesterday then the kids played until it was just too dark. The boys decided to play board games for hours after that . More importantly it was with out incident. One of the other young lads is an incredibly respectful and patient older young man willing to gently redirect my competitive progeny  The adults commiserated while the children played. Norman Rockwell eat your heart out . 

I'm not sure I deserve this much support,love, understanding and help but I refuse to sabotage it. Yes junior mint and I are ridiculously good at self sabotaging. Everyone deserves  happiness and peace , and I finally believe I do too. It takes a village to raise a child. I finally found folks I can trust . Could this mean I'm expanding my tribe on a social and personal level.  I just need to be careful when the Introvert in me starts coming out . 

Time for more coffee and mediation . Thanks for reading again today folks.

Hey look it's yet another new day !!

Greetings y'all ,

Well we survived yesterday, I see you did too since you're reading this here blog. I took your advice . I stuck to my plan , I gave my best disappointed dad look . I did not waver, I gave no quarter. 

So it only took junior mint 4 1/2 hours to complete his thirty minutes of work. He's a good boy and we did our CPS (collaborative problem solving).  He figured out the problem and offered a few suggestions. We will try one but if it doesn't work we can revisit it , retweek it or try the next one. The key is to dig up the function of the behavior and what te problem is not focus on what was done wrong. 

We eventually made it to the pool. I know it's a shock to hear the Robinson Boys engaged in aquatic activities . The pool was another story.There is a wonderful neighbor who truly views junior mint as quirky and exuberant and has been a great asset in keeping me straight. That is quite rare for me. I mean it's rare that I have adult interactions especially with someone who has a boy my son age an who gets my progeny. I mean truly gets who my son his. Heck she even gets me. I am grateful for the positive interaction.

So today is yet another tabla rasa. The weather looks to turn hinky so we may hit the pool early. I need to get back to Meeting with Friends but petrol and mula are tight . Ok that's a weak excuse.  Sure I can mediate anywhere but nothing beats being surrounded by the light of Meeting. 

Thanks for reading again today folks. 

A Lazy Weekend ?

Greetings y'all,

Ahhh a nice three day weekend. It's Labor Day weekend here . I'm a proud member of the union so I especially like this holiday. So it's time for a lazy weekend right ? Uhm you are familiar with my life , correct ? Oh sure we will have much jocularity and play but first tis time to do the basics if house keeping we've let slide. 

I noticed this week junior mint is still trying to avoid work ( at school and home) and still struggles  with challenges.     With that said I believe he will conquer that personality flaw this year. He finally met a teacher that calls him on it and won't let him succeed at failing or quitting. He knows I don't either so he's going through some growing pains before his growth spurt .

He's very bright but hasn't learned to work hard . Everything has come easy for him which was good but now is a hinderance. He needs to learn how to push through challenges . 

His first challenge - stop whining when given a direction or choice that he doesn't like. His second challenge - work hard either when it's a easy or hard task. AHis third challenge - relax . 

So I will take this Labor Day weekend , clean the house , play , and relax . In that order . 

Thanks for reading about us again today folks. 

Platitudes an gratitude

Greetings y'all ,

   Ahhh another pleasant morning with birds chirping and fresh coffee brewing. The air is still cool and one can almost sense today will be a great day. Ok so I still suffer from cock-eyed optimism , guess I'll always be spiffy. 

Yesterday , even though my son stated he wasn't having children when he grows up so he can travel and have heated toilet seats , I was reminded how grateful I am and though we have very little we have much to be grateful for.  Grateful I get to wake up each day , that I have a quirky and exuberant man cub who keeps me on my toes and has made me a better person, parent , and professional. I'm grateful his classroom staff and school staff are the right fit this year. Someone once told me organized sports are great with the right coach. 

I am thankful for those who gave reached out to help us .  I think Ace is thankful that after a month I finally turned the TV on , albeit for thirty minutes just to let him watch the end of the first half of the football game. I'm thankful my nine year old child insists on snuggling in my arms and listening to the baseball game on the radio each night. 

We can face the day with fists clenched and ready to see the negatives as we struggle and fight . I posit a closed hand is akin to a closed mind and blocks that which we truly need. Take a moment and make a fist , squeeze that fist , feel the tension course through your body. Attempt to tie your shoes, write a note , drink your coffee , etc with that fist. Now think of five things you notice , feel or sense you are thankfully for. Release one finger with each thought of gratitude until your hand is open and receptive and your body is more relaxed. 

I could go on ad neauseam about this but I'm thankful for a good job surrounded by outstanding people from the top down and all the way across the board, therefore I must bid adieu , drink my coffee, get my shower and Carpe Diem.

Thanks again for reading .

Harvesting what you sow or relearning how to learn

Greetings y'all ,

Jimmy Buffet once sang " life throws us curve balls we never can hit " ok that's true . However , with all due respect , sometimes we can struggle at the plate, make adjustments , persevere and hit some of those curve balls. ( I'll give you a moment to kvetch about yet another Jimmy Buffet quote and baseball analogy) ......Ok I guess we all have our comfort zone and core values, our special places that keep us from going crazy. Buffet and baseball are my comfort food for my soul .  

Yesterday Junior Mint experienced  some growing pains. At school he his still learning his teacher is captain of the ship.  She is amazing. At home he knows I am the captain of the ship. So where does that leave my little independent leader , who follows others way too much? It leaves him at the knee of a great educator by day and at the knee of a dad who adores him by night. As always I am not concerned about his academics. He's bright and will be challenged this year. I worry about his social skills, self regulation and acceptance of personal responsibility and that which he does not control. At school he has been forced to face those weaknesses ,confront them and is being helped in conquering them.  Once he completes that mission then - look out world ! I can tell he is making incremental progress . How can I tell ? Well thanks for asking.

(cue random seque through seemingly absurd jag that loosely ties it all together)

Yesterday Ace rode the bus home without incident . A huge deal , his teacher made that happen by setting him up for succes . Ace put forth the effort we knew he could. He was sitting and reading when u got home , and of course eating a choke and slide. That may all seem minor and mundane but trust me it's huge for him. So after his therapy I took him home and let him scrape together $3.18 out his piggy bank to get a very old school tennis racket from Goodwill. He loved the feeling of saving his money for something he wanted, he felt quite responsible . We headed to the courts for our first attempt at tennis together . Nothing fierce , no rules just getting the feel of the racket and the balls.  We played for about two hours. He saw folks of various skill levels who still missed the ball or sent the ball in an unintended direction. But we just played and laughed sans concern. 

Now transitions are notoriously difficult . One more volley, I want to do better, it's too soon, you're mean.....yada yada yada .... I let him know when we had 15, 10,5,3 minutes left. Finally it was time to leave. This  is when I gird my loins for the major tantrum. Yet it was a minor tantrum. He's learning he's not getting a rise out of me. He's begrudgingly got in the car after a few choice words and attempts to push my buttons . Little did he know I disconnected my buttons so they couldn't be pushed. From there we headed to the grocer . Our last trip ended with him having a fit and us leaving without anything. This time 'twas smooth sailing. Next stop library , another place that has been notoriously difficult to leave, again smooth sailing. Ok my luck has to be running out , right? Because once home we had shower and homework . Both were completed successfully without a hitch. As a reward I suggested a camp in and listening to the ball game. I will never forget the night we first played tennis then "watching the radio" with the game on and my son nestled next to me. That was possible because his teacher, staff, & the Robinson Boys were all on the same page and all worked hard and did their part. 

Do I expect him to be perfect today? I expect continued effort and growth. He's unlearning classroom behavior that he learned three years ago while relearning new and improved self management skills. It's a long hard row to hoe but the harvest will be worth the effort.

Ok I've rambled enough , yes I need more coffee. Thank again for reading today.

A thorn betwixt the roses

Greetings y'all ,

I'm sitting on the front stoop, it's almost 5am . My coffee is hot, black and strong. The air is cool but dense. On either side of me are chirping crickets and the sweet fragrance of rose bushes. I am grateful for this day . I need this day. I need a mulligan from the last day or so 

My lovely but quirky and exuberant an anxious and angry progeny has been railing agonist the world . I have reacted poorly exacerbating the situation. I have picked the rope and tried getting into a tug if war with him. I have not been the proverbial captain of the ship . I give his school full credit and kudos for being that which I espoused he needed while I failed epically . But alas I've been granted another day to regain the wheel and right our course . 

In a role reversal Junior Mint realizes he is not in control in the classroom and has artfully been pushing my buttons. Needless to say after this post I shall mediate more, work out and refocus. As on of the characters in "Westside Story " sang " you gotta stay cool boy" 

This is not me berating me or letting my progeny off the hook for his behavior. This is me reflecting on how I can adapt and better guide my boy. I can reduce his anxiety by staying calm and taking time to refocus. 

This will be a great year for us. I firmly believe that. My child has excellent staff at school now the onus is on me to maintain consistency by being the dad I've been . The onus is also on him to accept personal responsibility for his  words and actions and to believe in his support staff , or coaches as he likes to call them. This will be our year .

I watched him at the pool yesterday and by golly that is one competitive boy. I'm torn though because I was über competitive , as was my dad ( a top notch salesman) and my brother ( a Ph. D and leader in his department and field ) . I just read that Bud Norris ( MLB pitcher ) was chastised in second grade for being too competitive. Steve Jobs? Über competitor ... Donald Trump ? über competitor...Ray Lewis? Über competitor Adam Jones ? über competitor...Michael Phelps? Über competitor ...the list is endless . So how do I handle my youngsters win at all costs and never accept defeat attitude ? Seriously  open to suggestions. 

Ok folks I've rambled enough ( which is code for I need to refill my coffee) 

Have a great day and thanks for reading . 

United we stand and a whiz bang day

Greetings y'all ,

Well yesterday was a successful first day at school . Some bumps in the road but a success. The only way my son does not have a successful day is through his decision not to accept personal responsibility and not realizing I am united with and stand behind his staff. He tried stretching it yesterday and didn't accept responsibility for his actions and therefore tried acting out. He will learn , because he's a bright boy, has a great staff and his dad will reinforce, that school time means more structure but more  positive structure too.

So after school , as per my promise ,we played more baseball. I confess I was upset by the way Ace handled himself at the end of the school day. I gave him no quarter and cut him no slack. I was a stern coach. It seemed to work though. He gleefully shagged fly balls and accepted direction at the plate. He understands my incremental coaching method. We spent a long time just pivoting the hips to gain pop and power at the plate. When I felt he was ready he drove several balls into the outfield and on the last pitch scorched one up the middle off my ear. Ok that was scary . I saw the seams, I read the print on the ball , I heard the crack of the bat and the whiz of the air flowing over the sphere as it headed toward my mug. I had two thoughts .1. Wow great swing . That Alabama stride style and hip pivot has really worked and increased his bat speed. 2. Duck!!!! Unfortunately I had those thoughts in that order . 

Ok ok I deserved to get nailed by my progeny after giving him multiple baseball boo boos this summer. Once i got back up I laughed and even high fived him ad complimented him on his textbook technique. He says he never saw a person fall flat out in real life, just like the guy in "Major League" who drank Jojubu's  (sp?) rum and gets beaned by a bat.  In all seriousness though Ace shot out to the mound to ensure is old man was ok and I'm fine.  

We followed that with a little tennis and a lot of reading. He got his first two Black Eye Susan 2013-2014 Award nominee books out of the library and read one last night. So we finished with a snuggle, a cuddle and a good read. 

Thanks for reading again today folks ! 

One shot at kid-dom

Greetings y'all !

Well like most parents , or at least I presume like most parents , he I sit sipping coffee with the morning breeze , watching my progeny sleep and wondering how did he go from learning to walk and and his first utterances to starting fourth grade? Oh sure I know time marches on, hold on to the moment , embrace his growth , it's his journey , yada yada yada . But I'm selfish sometimes. I reflect back an miss that wee bonnie lad. Ya only get one shot at kid-dom. Once you grow up you can't go back. 

Here's where I chastises and berate myself . I posit I've failed as single parent I'm so far as I haven't let him be just. Kid enough . He and I discussed that this year his job was to be a kid. Have fun and live life knowing that his daddy has back and future will be there no use rushing it. Hey I gotta be honest nothing beats his snuggles and giggles. I gotta encourage them and hold onto them. I know at any minute he'll trade me in for cool friends. Quite honestly I believe in him and our bond though. This week he really understanding that expanding and adding people doesn't take away from us.

We wrapped up our summer vacation with a last trip the BirdLand. He made his first poster for his favorite player . Naturally we got to the stadium early and ran into to some Yankee fans from NYC. We actually bumped into them several times throughout the day . Ace learned we can cheer against a team but the people tend to be just like us. It's helped that we both root against the BoSox. 

Before the game we played catch with one his game balls . He was outstanding it was was all grins and giggles until he missed one and it hit his nose.  I rushed to him and to my horror his nose was bleeding. Fortunately one of Baltimore City's finest was walking by with stadium security. They made a few quick calls while Ace squeezed his nose and me. i held him , feeling horrible. Then we all went to stadium main lobby. The staff gave Ace ice , medical treatment and comfort while he nestled in my arms.   Once inside Ace got to chat with Tommy Hunter. He got his ball signed and said "daddy this ball is never hitting my face again , it's my autograph ball now " after he got TJ McFarland to sign it we settled in and kept score for a good game. 

 After the game he played the Electric Louisville Slugger violin that was used for the national anthem , ran the bases and started chatting with a group a youngsters . They all waited outside the players parking lot and were excited when Buck Showalter stopped to chat and sign autographs . Ace was satisfied his summer vacation ended on a good note . 

So I guess the key words this year are love, belonging , believe , fun and kid-dom. I love my child unconditionally. I just need to ensure he only has kid thoughts and concerns . We look at children and spend so much energy preparing them for being grown ups that we forget to let them enjoy the journey and joy of being a child. A sweet , quirky and exuberant child. Don't get me wrong I'm still working him accepting personal responsibility this year. Your job is to keep me in check this year. I can't stop time. I can't stop him from growing up but I can ensure it's as wholesome and natural and organic and individualized as possible . 

So dear son - I believe in you ! Thank you for being in heaven and picking me as your dad. 

Have a great day y'all and thanks for reading . 

Hello Stranger

Greetings Y'all !

If you missed me half as much as I missed you then I missed you twice as much as you missed me. Yeah I know that's corny , but  that's me too. 

Summer is winding down so 'tis time to reflect and project. Summer for the Robinson Boys meant baseball . Ok so I was blessed with working with an amazing staff and marvelous starter scholars but for Junior Mint and myself it meant playing and studying and reading about and analyzing baseball. We went to various games and played as often as possible . I saw great progress from Ace. It helped him learn to be a better citizen and team player . To learn how's not can produce huge results and to persevere. There's always another pitch , game , day ,etc.....Oh don't get me wrong we squeezed in hikes and swimming as well. 

I'm keeping with my honesty and transparency promise not every day was an idyllic day at the park. But that is life . Ace had a few bad moments but learned to handle them better next time . I very wise young lady told me yesterday "children just want to belong and to be loved" . With our collaborative problem solving and love we are making progress . I know you're thinking " wait you mean he is ...the one with the problem should own the problem end of story." Ok I reelect where you're coming from but in my very humble opinion part of the problem is my reaction. Was I reactive , making it worse ,  or proactive , helping the problem to be identified and solved?

I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination. I failed often this summer . I kept picking myself up and dusting myself off though and getting back in the game. We both learned who helps us the most in the neighborhood too. He's found , and it was a painful lesson but one he had to endure , who calms his special brain and who/what gets it more wonky . It tore me up watching him learn this but now he owns it. 

We are both jazzed for the new school year. He's told the world "sorry folks I have THE best fourth grade teacher and IA" I have to concur with him. It's going to be an outstanding year for both of us. 

As always thanks for reading again today folks . 

Predicaments and Perceptions

Greetings Y'all ;

Well it's been a couple of days since we chatted. So what's new with ? How's the weather in your neck of the woods ? Read any good books lately ? Listened to any good music lately ? More importantly have you hugged your kids today? Your parents ? Your significant other? Your pet ? Yourself ? 

As for us I thought we were traded to smooth waters. Sure I knew we had some squalls in the area but the horizon seemed to he clearing. However the universe has it's own plans. It has dumped the perfect storm on us. Frankly considering our predicament we could be angry, sad, overwhelmed, etc... 

I'll confess I'm confused and concerned. I'm not a quitter though . I adapt . I will realign my perspective to push through. 

This week has been filled with waiting and disappointment , adapting and accepting. I am struggling to vanquish the anguish. I've been struggling with an injury I got at work and the extended drives to the dr only to have looooong fruitless waits. We've hit our hardest times financially which is stretching our emotional well being. All the hoops I jumped through lately  took its toll fiscally and physically. 

Fortunately we are resilient . We still laugh and read and listen to our happy  music. Good ol music therapy. But still we ars looking at losing our humble abode  and just about everything else. We still have each other though. I feel so bad for junior mint , his amygdala does not anymore stress.  

I don't know, I just don't know. We may have hit our tipping point. This will be a very telling time. I just wonder how do many things out of my control lead me here? I see much meditation & purging in my near future. 

Sorry this wasn't more positive folks. I promised to bs honest , no matter how painful it is. 

Thanks for reading again today folks. 

Pre Mother's Day Adventure

Greetings y'all ;

Mowgli gave his mom an early Mother's Day Adventure today. We'd planned on returning to ORNC for " Music in the Woods" but much to his mother's glee he opted for one of our old go to adventures. Since it was Mother's Day weekend I gave him money to buy her something. 

We enjoyed a trip to the Waverly Farmers Market. That's always a good trip. We visited the Curry Shack . They've known Mowgli since he was a bump and were surprised to see all three of us. We wandered around and little man walked up to the greens table and stated I'd like one half pound of spinach please. He's a creature of habit. At one point he said " mom you wear beautiful ear rings I'd like you to look at this table" . They browsed and she found two lovely pairs. He was hilarious explaining the price points and the designs to her. My little man . 

We wrapped up there and headed to Bookthing , another one of our favorite haunts. We scored some awesome reads including Kon Tiki, Shackleton's Boat Journey and a biography of the Wright Brothers that Orville Wright helped write. We wandered back to drop the books off and grab a little nosh.

Refueled we started walking to the Baltimore Museum of Art ( BMA ). I love that walk and museum. As we strolled along his mother commented on our witty repartee and banter. She suggested we take it on the road.I realized it's true. Countless times we've had passers by laugh at our dialogue . We aren't trying to entertain we just have bouncy banter filled with multiple meaning words, the lovely and alluring alliteration and absurdity. Even I forget I'm talking to a lad who just turned nine years old. His vocabulary is amazing.

We walked through the BMA garden before finally going inside. You gotta love a world class museum with no admittance fee. I could spend hours immersed in the collection of Matisse and the incredible mosaics. On the way out Mowgli took his mom to the gift shop to finish off the the money he had. They chose a very nice mug. He picked out a wind up balsam wood plane . Naturally we went to the field across from the museum to test it. Yay more science !!!

We ended up at Maxie's for a few slices and to rest our weary bones. 

You know I feel pretty lucky to gave such a experiential and inquisitive lad. He even dressed up for Mother's  Day . He was a perfect gentleman and so polite.  Such a humble and respectful young man. I am so proud of him. He sure does take a shine to responsibility. 

Now back to his verbal and language skills , which are not his lagging skills. He is seriously funny and witty. I have to  remember he's just nine years old but is deep and well rounded. He's a natural leader. I feel extraordinarily lucky to be a part of his life and witness his amazing growth. 

On a final note we stopped at Trader Joes where Junior Mint bought me Sunflowers. He asked to stop at Goodwill. Seems he wanted to get a vase for the the flowers . He chose a blue vase, came home set it up and proclaimed "Happy Mother's Day pa" Shucks ! Early today he said " I love you pa and I love you mom.  In fact I love you the same and that's ok " 

Thanks again for reading our daily letter to the world .  

" I feel like going surfing in a hurricane"

Greetings y'all :

I'd like to thank Jimmy Buffet for the title if today's daily letter to the works. It happened to be the song we listened to last night as we drove with the top down through the fierce storms that swept over us on the way home from our Friday night adventure . 

By now y'all know our favorite spot is ORNC. And one of our fave spots at ORNC is the lake. Last night was the spring moonlight canoe adventure . Ok so it was cloudy and sans  moonlight. Somehow it was still beautiful and magical. Quite an interesting perspective and adventure.   First I must commend the staff for being outstanding hosts. Melissa an Dave were stellar. Very congenial, flexible and knowledgable. Well done! 

We first had to dodge the tadpoles at the lakes edge. FYI they are really getting big now . We've watched them develop since they were eggs. The woods are becoming more dense each day. Kinda reminds us that time marches on or as John Lennon sang " life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"

Junior Mint was a strong paddler and and excellent look out. He kept us away from the alligators* . When we turned to admire the lake God flipped the light  switch on and started playing on his timpani. Time to evacuate the lake. Shortly there after , while we portaged the canoes back to the canoe rack it started to drizzle. End of story ? No ! there is s'more !

Some folks left but those who remained and endured a brief light rain got to watch Junior Mint and his pa dig a fire pit in the sand . The staff then lit the camp fire and we all commiserated over s'mores. The end .... or not ??

Well since we weren't camping there we did have to drive home. Top down, singing our hearts our to Jimmy Buffet and enjoying life but mostly enjoying each other. The thunder and lightening in the distant was amazing . We finally realized we were closing the gap and the light rain felt good. The medium rain felt good. The heavy rain was a bit dodgy, considering the road was dark and twisty all we saw was lightening flash across the sky an thunder rolling . Right on cue "Hurricane" came on and we sang louder than ever . Yes once we found a safe place we stopped and closed up the roof. We arrived home wet and happy. 

I admit through the time at ORNC I would stop and just look at Junior Mint. Just absorb the contours of his face, his posture,  who he is. Love that kid. He stepped back and let other kids go first, be right and decided he and the other kids should all help extinguish the campfire together. He wanted them all to learn from and experience it. That's big because it was a job they gave to him as a solo project. Teamwork  my lad , teamwork.

I'd say it was an excellent day. We got exercise. Learned about  biology,physics and chemistry. Even helped a stray black Lab. If y'all know anything about a missing lab in that area please let me know . 

Thanks for reading again today folks. 

* The last time we went canoeing was in Florida on a river with several alligators. 

The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree

Greetings Y'all ;

"How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted." Voltaire 

I stumbled upon this quote and obviously struck a chord . Y'all know I am also fond of the quote by Gallileo " I never met a man so ignorant I couldn't learn something from him " In my humble opinion Violtaire is speaking directly of a father - son relationship  whilst Gallileo is speaking in generalities. Both are good quotes and speak the truth. I believe I can learn from everyone and everyone has a message for me. I just need to pay attention and remain open. 

Now back to Voltaire. I wake up each day and ponder why the boy wonder will teach me. I am not ready to fully recline under the prodigal oak , he is still a sapling. But I am amazed how far he's come since being a tiny acorn. Still he teaches me everyday. 

His thirst for knowledge and strong , I'd dare say uncontrollable , desire to share that knowledge is gratifying. I was that lad, some might posit I still am. He has a broad range of interests but manages to find threads that bind those various interests into a commonality. Currently he in the vetting process of his PBL ( project based learning) project. He has several interests he wishes to expand on an is weeding through the core commonalities to discover his primary focus. He gets and loves the fluidity of the PBL work. 

This is a system filled with who, what why, and then , what if etc... There is no singular goal but rather the enjoyment of the expanding journey. I guide when need be but this is student driven. We've no end of unit exam because the research and the project show information processing and knowledge acquisition. The end result is deeper comprehension and cross curriculum integration. 

For those of you interested www.edutopia.com has some great info on PBL.  To be honest I took the premise from there. It is how I've alway taught but they have it name. I also expanded it to work with our unschooling system. 

I hope the phrase unschooling doesn't frightened anyone. It's basically a term that implies a Montesori style student led learning environment but take further down the student driven system. It's a paradigm shift from traditional classroom. Neither one is inherently better or worse on a whole because education is a personal journey for each individual. What works for one person may not work the next person. As Ross W.Greene, Ph. D states "children do well if they can"  I'd say people do well if they can. We are a world of seven billion sentient beings all deserving to find happiness and to be free of suffering. All striving to live, laugh, love and learn. 

Yesterday we studied algebra for two hours , geography for an hour and read for over six hours . I'd call that a love ofearni g and thirst of knowledge. It also made for a quiet and calm humble abode. It's a great joy to watch him read for pleasure , because one idea expanded to another and then teach what he learned to me. To let me ask questions. Some he readily knew the answer to others meant continued research. Research he devoured. I remember I used to sit for hours getting lost in encyclopedias. I guess the acorn don't fall far from the tree.

Science Day Rules!!!

Greetings y'all ,

Yes the title of today's blog , or as Junior Mint says our daily letter to the world, is an homage to Bill Nye the Science Guy. Ok that and Wednesday is our science day. Gotta love science day. 

Yesterday we started the day with doing experiments with flapjacks. Huh ? We experimented with density, heat, duration, etc... Best breakfast ever. We followed that with building a weather station terrarium. By we I mean he made by following directions and learning what did and did not work. Awesome work little man. He built his own hydrological cycle and can explain the various components of the weather station. He understands the greenhouse effect. Good start . Next we will study some scientists. He is partial to Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison and Leonardo DaVinci . Those are three homeschooled fellows who knew the value of learning through failure and the benefit of daydreaming.

But wait there's more! We studied physics. Velocity in equals velocity out. Angle in equals angle out. The affect on the change of mass. Oh sure it may have appeared we were playing baseball. But consider we figured out batting average and the mean ( where he hit the ball the the most ). I'm comfortable calling it a good science lesson. 

I should we walked through the woods to the library as well. Wow the woods are really changing with summer approaching. We observed flora and fauna. We explored the light variations in the woods and the effect on undergrowth. At the library he choose books on baseball and an Alice Walker book of poetry. Between that and the Aesops we got some good moral lessons into our language arts and character building for the day .

The day wasn't over. We needed groceries . Time to use economics. Work the budget. Stay under budget. Read labels figure cost per serving, price per unit,ensure maximum bang for our limited bucks. Don't get me started on the chemistry of cooking. 

The evening was spent watching science on PBS. I'd call that a good day. It's interesting that a typical day for us is and has been a form of homeschooling. I guess it's my innate project based learning teaching style ( you learn more from animals than books about animals ) and his innate learning style. It works for us. I confess I enjoy this and always have. Watching him do his Math this morning I saw how much his frustration level has stopped but how much he learned in the old brick and mortar school . Yes we also do worksheets . He struggled with certain lagging skills but he was stellar with the academics. I give credit to the staff in his old classroom for helping him grow academically . 

Thanks for reading again today folks. 

Plan B is for me

Greetings y'all ,

I once heard perspective is reality. I take that to mean ones perspective of a situation is ones reality. With that premise then how one views a situation plus ones reaction equals ones adaptability and is indicative of ones adaptive behavior. This is when I warn you to grab your coffee before proceeding. Go ahead I can wait ........welcome back.

Today I will be discussing concepts gleaned from the Ross W. Greene, Ph.D book titled " The Explosive Child" (Harper Collins NY 2010) Stop, the ideas apply to all human interactions not just a child with problematic behaviors . I recently read this book because it offered help with classroom management and help with my progeny. Fortunately it reinforced what I've been doing with great success on both fronts. I've seen many educators who follow these concepts intuitively and reduce disruptive behavior. I've seen parents diffuse and de-escalate potential explosive situations by using CPS ( collaborative problem solving)

It starts with the premise " kids do well if they can" . Ok that's easy enough but the need consequences and must follow each direction to succeed or keep peace in the home/ classroom right? Wrong. If consequences are not natural or ineffective then the child's growth is retarded. Constantly giving consequences can be counter-productive. So lets throw in good intentions with addressing lagging skills.

What is the lagging skill that is impeding the child's ability to grow and calmly navigate through their frustration? It's easy to identify the behavior we desire . We can establish plans to target that behavior. I posit progress will not occur until the lagging skills required to accomplish that behavior is met and addressed as a team. This is where CPS comes in to help build a foundation.

Dr. Greene discusses Plan B. Not as we typically think of it as oops plan A didn't work , next option. He suggests plan A is teacher/ parent giving hard fast rules with hard fast consequences. Has this been effective for explosive children? Probably not . Ok then there's plan C. Which is akin to acquiescing to the child. Occasional capitulation may be the correct course of action only rarely. So back to planB.

Plan B involves reflective listening and the ability to compromise. It's not giving in or giving up its teaching problem solving in a real life , life long learning style. It validates all parties with empathy and respect. It leaves the door open for further discussion, commiseration, communication and collaboration. I've been innately doing this in the classroom for years with all age groups and with great success. To me it's the difference between a willow flowing and bending in the wind as opposed to a stoic oak stand firm and rigid until something breaks.

So yes everyone's perspective is his or her reality. What can we do to help learn the perspective of a challenged child and improve their lagging skills thus modifying their adaptive behavior in a positive way? Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Between Dr Greene's books and Susan Stiffleman's " Parenting without Power Struggles" I've learned some great techniques for helping students learn and for the home and even personal relationships . The key is to build relationships. That is done by listening more than talking.

www.explosivechild.com



Thanks for reading again today folks.

Pride and Humility

Greetings y'all:

As is my ilk I've been reflecting on the past day and week and month etc... It would seem to me I've been a prideful. Humility ought to outweigh pride but I've had it backwards.

That doesn't mean I'm not proud of defending the underdog , because I am proud to speak for the voiceless. It's doesn't mean I'm not proud of all the growth my son has shown because I am pleased and proud to have my son back. It doesn't mean I'm not proud of my work ethic because I am proud to know I strive to see each person as an individual and remain flexible and professional.

Ok so what does it mean ? Well thanks for asking . In my humble opinion those things are just what ought to be done . Pride should be internal and humility opens more chances to learn and grow. Is it possible my self reflection and constant research of and application of theories is driven by pride ? Yes - pride in my work ethic and also the humility that I can learn from all sentient beings and experiences.

I will continue to be proud of and humbled by the growth and growing pains my child experiences. I've made mistakes and I've done some things right. I'm accustomed to the universe amplifying the former and burying the latter.

I've no idea what today will bring us, other than new memories. Time to remember what Jimmy Buffet sang " breathe in , breathe out, move on"

No axe to grind

Greetings y'all :

Well the Robinson Boys had a splendid day exploring the wonderful world of primitive technology. What a thrill to learn survival skills. We learned how to make blow guns and blow darts. We learned how to make a fishing spear out of river cane. We learned how grind and carve stone. We learned how to make a stone axe. We even learned a little flint knapping. We learned to survive with primitive tools and technology. We didn't get an axe so therefore we've no axe to grind. ( yes that was a horrible pun) We even took a little dip in the lake. Then came to watch the O's game and Kentucky Derby.

Mostly we bonded and he learned how much I trust him. I learned how much he trusts me as well. We had a minor hiccup when he was tired and hungry but it was quick and my technique of reflective listening and giving him ownership of problem solving worked like a charm. It's a win-win system where he states his needs and gets to offer solutions. We end with if this doesn't work instead of ( whatever the behavior was ) we can sit and find a new solution. It's kinda cool watching him go through the steps without me too . It means he's learning to calmly problem solve and choose his priorities . I've been trying this one my kids at school with slow to moderate success. Those kids are amazing with so much to offer. They , like my son and all sentient beings, seek validation . The key is trying to learn how and what they are communicating.

It's time to snuggle up and spend more time with my son. I think a little ice cream and Svengoolie , who is showing The Raven should do the trick.

Thanks again for reading folks.

86,400

Greetings Y'all ;

86,400 seconds in a day, 86,400 new moments. 86,400 seconds to spend with my little man cub.

My coffee is hot, the air is cool , the birds are chirping and my young progeny is slumbering next to me. We have yet another fun and educational day ahead of us.

On another note I still reflect nightly (using a successful technique i learned whilst reading Ben Franklin's autobiography ) meditate and read various books geared toward child rearing , education and mindfulness . My tumultuous past led me to reading the Dalai Lama and those readings and experiences reinforced my ability to appear calm and in many incidences to slow down my brain train and breath. It's helped me separate moments and remain calm. To be fully present for each moment ( still working on that one ) Monday -Friday from 8:50-4 I'm present for every child I encounter. The rest of those seconds belong to me and my son.

So with out further adieu 'tis time for me to bid adieu , meditate and start my day with that little boy who has gentle hold of my heart. Thanks for reading again today folks .

If by Rudyard Kipling

This is one of my favorite poems. It reminds my progeny and I to remain calm in crisis. It's helped shape me. I've posted it before but this seemed like a good time to repost. Enjoy ..

If
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!



Poets » Rudyard Kipling » If
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Fruitful Friday

Greetings y'all ;

Wow , simply wow. What a week we've had. Got kicked around ( literally and figuratively) was reminded how little control I have and how small I am. Was also reminded how right I've been. As I oft times say - we are the Robinson Boys, we got this.

Yesterday ? What happened yesterday ? Gosh thanks for asking. Besides me getting kicked by a student so hard mg shin swelled up and turned black and blue and having assorted furniture and expletives thrown at me and getting spit on and threatened ? Quite a lot actually. I also had some of the same students push through the angst and anxiety and complete their work. The teacher and staff did a good job keeping them in class and getting through to them as best as possible. I also heard positive feedback about my progeny and his situation. Seems I was right in my assessment and also information was not passed on to his staff but misinformation was which lead to further issues for the poor little guy. I was also told by several people it's wise to have him in a safe place since he was targeted and is too bright to allow negative forces retard his growth. It's funny how his old class is still having the same issues as when he was there. It's a tough class with good staff though.

So here we sit on Friday morn, birds chirping, cool air, gorgeous sunrise, and the coffee is warm. It reminds me the past is written but the future is not. It must wait for the present to unfold.

Yesterday afternoon was free play for my lad. Watching the interactions I realized I've got a great kid. I like my neighborhood for the diversity and proximity to work . Still I'd be remiss if I didn't confess the vibe at the other playground on Wednesday evening was completely different than the vibe in this neighborhood. Night and day . I never thought I'd ever even consider that county but that town has a feeling of community and home. Plus I always say we are country mice.

We followed free play, which is actually problem solving and cooperative learning and social skills the old school way. With science/ geography night. I think we are starting to find a good pattern of themed nights. Saturday , if all goes well , will be more History & Science as we explore primitive technology weekend at the local park. Education is much more than brick and mortar buildings and worksheets. I remember sitting in a team meeting for him when he five or six and being told he's doing too many cultural events because it puts him too far ahead of the other students. Stop taking him museums and parks. Ok I had to laugh because , well just because. If he asks a question I try to make him figure out the answer or if his schema is limited on it I guide guide. I confess to imparting my knowledge and encourage him to surpass me intellectually . Ok so that bar is pretty low but still ...The bottom line is schema gives a connection to learning and helping him explore and research merely branches off the base background knowledge while strengthening the foundation. Connections help with information processing.

Ok I've wasted enough of your time today. Tis time to prepare for our day. I wonder what my students will learn and what they will teach me today? I'm pretty lucky to be able to work with all grades and therefore learn from all ages.

Have fruitful Friday and thanks for reading again today.

A Tale of Two Kids

Greetings y'all :

He was the best of kids , he was the worse of kids.

So I've repeatedly commented that Junior Mint is sensitive to his environment. I've seen him act the worse of the worse . I've seen him act the best of the best. He's strives to be a leader and tries to rise to the top. He was surrounded by negative influences. I've seen those same influences create havoc when he's not around. Obviously my lad was not the catalyst. He reacted anxiously and was told to ignore. Ah the old "just" ignore , hard for many adults, but what was the replacement behavior ? Its easy to see his mind is quieter now that he feels safe , but I digress ...

Yesterday we, man cub and I, played ball for about three hours and squeezed in , his lessons and rehearsal as well ( insert shameless plug for latest show we are in - " Annie"). I confess playing ball was a blast! My little guy is becoming quite coachable . He listened to my suggestions and took advice from new friends. We started with having the fields to ourselves . We discussed what to do if a team showed up for practice or a game. Well four boys showed , about Mowgli's age. They wanted to play kick ball. Now we are at a crossroads. I chose not to intervene but observe. Here is what I overheard...

Junior Mint (JM)- hey that's a nice soccer ball you guys wanna play baseball with us?
Boy #1 - no we're gonna play kickball
JM- oh ok we've been here awhile , we can give you the field .
Boy #1- no that's ok finish up with your dad, we're not in a hurry.
JM- it's ok we don't mind letting you play
Boy# 2- you've got a nice swing, what team are you on?
Boy# 3 I like your bat.
JM- I'm not on a team and thanks. We're giving you guys the field .
Boy# 1- no we just got here and it's still your turn.
JM - that means we've been here awhile and it's your turn
Boy#1 - you're really nice , wanna play kick ball with us?
JM- really ? I love kick ball ! Thanks

Then I witnessed five boys play kickball without a fuss or incident but with laughter and sportsmanship. After the others left we played more baseball until rehearsal time . Twas a smooth transition , went according to plan. Baseball, rest in car & rehydrate , then rehearsal. Oh boy rehearsal . Ok so I actually feel like I can sing and again I saw my lad being a perfect gentleman as the only boy in a gaggle of girls.

Rehearsal ended and we had time for more baseball and some basketball before I said those magic words " you earned ice cream" Seriously what else could we do? He chose a McFlurry then home for a cleaning up and good snuggle and conversation as we drifted off to dreamland. I feel pretty lucky that my progeny is still comfortable talking to me about anything on his mind. It's important for everyone to have a non-judgmental sounding board especially in these formidable years. He is responsive to guidance, not just giving him answers but gentle guidance .

As he stated "Best May Day ever"!

Thanks for reading again today. Spread the word please .

Mindful May Day Meanderings...

Greetings y'all :

Looks to be a beautiful day in my neck of the woods. Sun is showing it's face again and the air is pleasant. I'd be hard pressed to relocate from this region. I love having seasons. Personally I like the myriad of weather we get here. The weather , like so many other things , is out of our control.

By now most of know the mantra " one can only control oneself" . Not to get all meta-physical on ya but that is one life's little truisms. You already know I firmly believe life is impermanent therefore even our reactions are impermanent. If we change the way we perceive or react , if we change our habits and know it will require multiple attempts to work then through perseverance we will replace our habits.

Perhaps the key word is replace. Remember if we always do what we always did we'll always get what we always got. But wait! The brain is magnificent machine full of neurons and growing dendrites and popping synapses! The brain/mind is malleable. The mind falls into our locust of control. We can change what we've always done or how we've always thought and create new habits. Neural plasticity gives us the ability to adapt and modify. Remember insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Habits and thought that we choose to alter must be replaced. Children don't have the skills and experience or wisdom to draw from to help themselves change or replace. The onus of that falls on the adult.

Imagine a thought or habit being a tiny stream of water. Keep in mind water takes the path of least resistance. If that stream follows the same path then over time erosion occurs and we can create chasms such as the Grand Canyon. But if the path is modified then we prevent chasms.

While the mind is a glorious machine it is unique in many ways to each individual. Therefore each sentient being seeks control over oneself and a certain level of autonomy. This sense of control or lack thereof is a personal journey. Acceptance of that which we can not control and responsibility for that which we can is an oft time arduous trek.

We have very little control in life. We cannot control the weather, the outcome of our favorite sporting events, the traffic, the cost of living , the way others act/ react/ feel. We can control our reaction and how we adapt to certain scenarios. Personally I find how I react affects how others react. As an example yesterday a student got frustrated during Math, granted that's not shocking news. He walked away from the table. Now I have options on how to react. I could ignore him and see what he does. I could demand he return to the table and complete his work or loss points an get negative consequences. I could talk to the you g lad and listen to what is frustrating him. Yep I went with plan C . He was frustrated , he expressed his concern while playing with a ball. Again I have choices to ignore the ball, demand he stop or once again option C. I asked him to sit on the floor and we rolled the ball back and forth while orally doing the Math problems. Crisis averted, student felt validated and heard, and student learned. All parties achieve their goal with out incident but with adaptability.

I'm not perfect , far from it. I have learned that every sentient being deserves to be free o suffering and to find happiness.. Every person is a unique individual seeking validation and a sense of control. It's hard for the wee ones to express to this. We have to listen to everything they say and do. We have to help them establish their personal locust of control. One thing these starter humans seek is knowing they have a strong, consistent , loving leader. They want to sense control but want and need to know the grown folk at the helm are the captains of the ship.

Ok so now back to the land of pleasant living. It's May Day!!! This day has always been a day jubilant and special. Last night junior mint reminded me of when he was in pre-K he made a very special May Day wreath out willow branches and pansies for his teacher. He said he missed her and his K teacher. The last teachers he felt believed in him. So today we celebrate new beginnings. We celebrate May Day!!

Learning styles

Greetings y'all :

Ahh yes the old learning style discussion. Some folks , such as myself, are intrapersonal learners. I'd also be considered kinesthetic , naturalist , and assorted others. I can be interpersonal but my introverted nature makes that difficult at times. I was never really too expertise as a child and definitely not mechanically minded.

Junior mint is multi- learning style as well . I've seen him exhibit most styles depending on the situation. Tonight he has chosen to take apart the old broken lap top for a little exploration. It's interesting watching him work , organize , think things through , learn how the computer works, and just have fun exploring.

Many or perhaps most folks have multiple learning styles . Differentiating lessons whilst attempting to meet the curriculum is challenging. I'm lucky to work with and several creative instructors . Yes there are are teachers in the system that lack creativity. But they are out numbered by the good ones.

I guess I'm lucky to have a child with a thirst for knowledge. He learns in a variety of ways . He loves to teach as well. He's a global thinker like his old man. He's got a wide range of interests.

I know I've kvetched about the system ad neauseum , well the system is significantly flawed. It's great for some students but hinders many others. No hard feelings . Every child , every human wants to learn and can learn . Every child , every human is an individual and ought to be taught and treated as such.

Ok so today I had an interesting day at work in the new class I'm temporarily assigned too. I was kicked , hit , spit on, called several things that would make a sailor blush, had a chair and books thrown at me. I had a child say " I'm going to kill you Mr Robinson" My response was "wow you know my name , thats great" That was before lunch. Theses wee learners also read their sight words and worked cooperatively after reading a book. They have so much potential. The staff is quite flexible and sees each child as an individual learner. It's funny but I've been with the fifth graders and an amazing teacher since last year and now get a glimpse at the students coming my way . Nothing beats a repoire and bond.

Tonight was a blast watching my little guy dissect the lap top. Then play his harmonica then read his National Geographic magazines. What a wonderful night.

Finding your tribe

Greetings y'all ;

After today I could very easily be angry and frustrated. I choose to look at the whole picture. I've got a wonderful if not misunderstood child. He had stellar grades in spite of being bullied and not feeling safe in his class. His anxiety was through the roof at school but he was outstanding at home. He had a god school and good staff but the system has been a poor match for him. I've watched him suffer for three years now.I just want my child back and anger used negatively won't accomplish that goal. Resiliency will.

I firmly believe in finding your tribe. For me I've got a great set of friends and good co-workers. My friends appreciate my forthrightness , honesty , integrity,humor and creative flexibility. My co-workers and I work with some tough children but strive to help them on multiple layers.

But what about a nine year old boy given little opportunity to find his tribe during the school day? Sure outside of school there is the pursuit of personal and mutual interests. But not every child is designed for the factory education system in place . I'd posit many are not designed for it.

Let me repeat , twould be easy to be angry. Angry at the system failure , angry at manipulation , angry at choices. I suppose I could be angry that my hand was played early putting additional hardship and anxiety on our house , but honestly I'm used to it.

This is a new beginning and new chapter for us. Sometimes hardships force us to jump start us on the road to fulfilling our goals. So who'll I've find my tribe, which I'm flexible and that may change , junior mint had his removed from him in first grade and never recovered . It is a reason we shall continue our educational path outside a brick and mortar institute. He's already ahead of the academic curve because I've been educating him since he was a wee bonnie sprout.

Folks remember this blog is helping me establish a foundation for my book. I appreciate y'all reading about us and accept all feedback . This is written through the prism of my lenses. You may or may not agree with my perspective . Some of you communicate with me others lurk and some squawk but not to me. That's life . We are the Robinson Boys , we got this.

My little tea pot

Greetings y'all :

Junior Mint and I had another wonderfully relaxing weekend. We were productive but relaxed. Saturday night was a camp in under the stars. That just means sleeping bags on the floor sans tent. It reminded us of the days we used to sleep under the stars in the old neighborhood. I think it helped to be reminded of those times.

One thing we did do this weekend was communicate. Not just talk but communicate. I was able to truly hear what his heart was saying and his mind was thinking. He is so misunderstood. He wants to do the right thing but the odds are stacked against him and have been mounting for a few years. He is a leader but is tuned into his environment. That can mean joyful , quirky exuberance and success or butting heads and exacerbation. He is still using his go to learned attention seeking behaviors that have been reinforced since first grade. He's got a good staff surrounding him but has a few alpha male peers that are coming from a more street background. Junior Mint is attempting to beat them at their game instead of using his strengths. It's hard for him to exhibit his leadership in small isolated class. See folks he also knows how to lead by following. Again with a small group there is only so much chance for growth and to see other behaviors. It reminds me of some folks who only hang out with and talk about politics with a select small circle because they all agree with each other. But like Plato showed us , we need to expand our world and not be locked into the singular perspective of the cave.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. My son is a sweet, energetic, quirky, exuberant, intelligent individual. He can discuss many topics on levels unusual for his age. But at the end of the day he is still nine years old. He is a little tea pot of a boy with barrel full of emotions that come spilling out and spilling over. Those are the times it's easy to see the behavior but not the problem.

"I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
When I get all steamed up
I just shout
Tip me over and pour me out"

There is still hope for him. I love him very much. Then again I'm the captain of the ship and he's a great first mate.

Thanks for reading again today folks.