Seeking happiness

Greetings y'all :

Here I sit pondering a rant that's played out in my head ad neauseum or a more esoteric introspective post. To be honest I can't wait to see where we end up today. As always I promise to bare my soul and let you good folk in on the good , the bad and the in between .

I begin with a sense of frustration. It's above doubt and question that I love my child and understand him better than anyone. I'm , well rather we, are far from perfect. But we continue to sail our seas and plot our course while facing what crosses our path. It's amazing how my child and I still snuggle up each night , reading side by side or to each other with our faces and sides hurting from the laughter he and I share.

I say amazing because its taken a lot of work to reduce his or our anxiety. Sadly the child I take to school is oft times not the child I pick up. So we spend too much time on damage control , realigning , and re or deprogramming. He is getting a decent education but he's learned certain behaviors work in school and if they aren't addressed swiftly and therapeutically then he's learned to escalate to control the situation. At home - not so much. At home I'm the quiet and calm captain of the ship. He gets time ins not time outs . He gets quiet validation, directions are given once then left to be followed. He has input but the captain has final say and there is no arguing the final decision. It's discussed , it's decided, it's done. We have a playful, respectful and productive happy home . This is effective in all settings. Let me repeat - this is effective in ALL settings. It's amazing what a simple look ( you know the raised eyebrow) or quiet proximity can do to alleviate problems or potential problems. Reflective listening is also quite effective. Two minutes of discussion or listening can prevent two hours of angst . We know tis better to be proactive than reactive. Proactive addresses the core issues and puts out a fire at the first spark. Reactive deals with the burnt embers and blaze and doesn't get to the heart of the matter. Proactive eliminates future issues as well while reactive exacerbate present issues and sets the scene for a repeating downward spiral.

As the adult I proudly take on the role of proactive active listener . Of captain of the ship. Now before you write a scathing response that this theory is all well and good at home alone remember I stated this is effective in all settings. Remember I've been applying this theory with great success for years as an educator with special needs children. I know it works at home, in the mall , at school - in all environments. I also know as the adult at home and the classroom that my failings lead to the children failings. I was told by a great professor and teacher " if the children aren't learning it's because I'm not teaching it right" . The onus falls on the adults to be adults. If we expect the children to be accountable for their actions the adults must model that through humility and proactive guidance. Failing to give appropriate and proper accommodations falls on the adults not the children.

So folks what do you think ? Which direction did I take today's post ? I'll leave you with the thoughts of a laughing happy child in most settings but an angry child who controls the environment in another. I'm sure glad he's a great first mate at home. He will be be fine.

As always thanks for reading today.