A Lazy Weekend ?

Greetings y'all,

Ahhh a nice three day weekend. It's Labor Day weekend here . I'm a proud member of the union so I especially like this holiday. So it's time for a lazy weekend right ? Uhm you are familiar with my life , correct ? Oh sure we will have much jocularity and play but first tis time to do the basics if house keeping we've let slide. 

I noticed this week junior mint is still trying to avoid work ( at school and home) and still struggles  with challenges.     With that said I believe he will conquer that personality flaw this year. He finally met a teacher that calls him on it and won't let him succeed at failing or quitting. He knows I don't either so he's going through some growing pains before his growth spurt .

He's very bright but hasn't learned to work hard . Everything has come easy for him which was good but now is a hinderance. He needs to learn how to push through challenges . 

His first challenge - stop whining when given a direction or choice that he doesn't like. His second challenge - work hard either when it's a easy or hard task. AHis third challenge - relax . 

So I will take this Labor Day weekend , clean the house , play , and relax . In that order . 

Thanks for reading about us again today folks. 

Platitudes an gratitude

Greetings y'all ,

   Ahhh another pleasant morning with birds chirping and fresh coffee brewing. The air is still cool and one can almost sense today will be a great day. Ok so I still suffer from cock-eyed optimism , guess I'll always be spiffy. 

Yesterday , even though my son stated he wasn't having children when he grows up so he can travel and have heated toilet seats , I was reminded how grateful I am and though we have very little we have much to be grateful for.  Grateful I get to wake up each day , that I have a quirky and exuberant man cub who keeps me on my toes and has made me a better person, parent , and professional. I'm grateful his classroom staff and school staff are the right fit this year. Someone once told me organized sports are great with the right coach. 

I am thankful for those who gave reached out to help us .  I think Ace is thankful that after a month I finally turned the TV on , albeit for thirty minutes just to let him watch the end of the first half of the football game. I'm thankful my nine year old child insists on snuggling in my arms and listening to the baseball game on the radio each night. 

We can face the day with fists clenched and ready to see the negatives as we struggle and fight . I posit a closed hand is akin to a closed mind and blocks that which we truly need. Take a moment and make a fist , squeeze that fist , feel the tension course through your body. Attempt to tie your shoes, write a note , drink your coffee , etc with that fist. Now think of five things you notice , feel or sense you are thankfully for. Release one finger with each thought of gratitude until your hand is open and receptive and your body is more relaxed. 

I could go on ad neauseam about this but I'm thankful for a good job surrounded by outstanding people from the top down and all the way across the board, therefore I must bid adieu , drink my coffee, get my shower and Carpe Diem.

Thanks again for reading .

Harvesting what you sow or relearning how to learn

Greetings y'all ,

Jimmy Buffet once sang " life throws us curve balls we never can hit " ok that's true . However , with all due respect , sometimes we can struggle at the plate, make adjustments , persevere and hit some of those curve balls. ( I'll give you a moment to kvetch about yet another Jimmy Buffet quote and baseball analogy) ......Ok I guess we all have our comfort zone and core values, our special places that keep us from going crazy. Buffet and baseball are my comfort food for my soul .  

Yesterday Junior Mint experienced  some growing pains. At school he his still learning his teacher is captain of the ship.  She is amazing. At home he knows I am the captain of the ship. So where does that leave my little independent leader , who follows others way too much? It leaves him at the knee of a great educator by day and at the knee of a dad who adores him by night. As always I am not concerned about his academics. He's bright and will be challenged this year. I worry about his social skills, self regulation and acceptance of personal responsibility and that which he does not control. At school he has been forced to face those weaknesses ,confront them and is being helped in conquering them.  Once he completes that mission then - look out world ! I can tell he is making incremental progress . How can I tell ? Well thanks for asking.

(cue random seque through seemingly absurd jag that loosely ties it all together)

Yesterday Ace rode the bus home without incident . A huge deal , his teacher made that happen by setting him up for succes . Ace put forth the effort we knew he could. He was sitting and reading when u got home , and of course eating a choke and slide. That may all seem minor and mundane but trust me it's huge for him. So after his therapy I took him home and let him scrape together $3.18 out his piggy bank to get a very old school tennis racket from Goodwill. He loved the feeling of saving his money for something he wanted, he felt quite responsible . We headed to the courts for our first attempt at tennis together . Nothing fierce , no rules just getting the feel of the racket and the balls.  We played for about two hours. He saw folks of various skill levels who still missed the ball or sent the ball in an unintended direction. But we just played and laughed sans concern. 

Now transitions are notoriously difficult . One more volley, I want to do better, it's too soon, you're mean.....yada yada yada .... I let him know when we had 15, 10,5,3 minutes left. Finally it was time to leave. This  is when I gird my loins for the major tantrum. Yet it was a minor tantrum. He's learning he's not getting a rise out of me. He's begrudgingly got in the car after a few choice words and attempts to push my buttons . Little did he know I disconnected my buttons so they couldn't be pushed. From there we headed to the grocer . Our last trip ended with him having a fit and us leaving without anything. This time 'twas smooth sailing. Next stop library , another place that has been notoriously difficult to leave, again smooth sailing. Ok my luck has to be running out , right? Because once home we had shower and homework . Both were completed successfully without a hitch. As a reward I suggested a camp in and listening to the ball game. I will never forget the night we first played tennis then "watching the radio" with the game on and my son nestled next to me. That was possible because his teacher, staff, & the Robinson Boys were all on the same page and all worked hard and did their part. 

Do I expect him to be perfect today? I expect continued effort and growth. He's unlearning classroom behavior that he learned three years ago while relearning new and improved self management skills. It's a long hard row to hoe but the harvest will be worth the effort.

Ok I've rambled enough , yes I need more coffee. Thank again for reading today.

A thorn betwixt the roses

Greetings y'all ,

I'm sitting on the front stoop, it's almost 5am . My coffee is hot, black and strong. The air is cool but dense. On either side of me are chirping crickets and the sweet fragrance of rose bushes. I am grateful for this day . I need this day. I need a mulligan from the last day or so 

My lovely but quirky and exuberant an anxious and angry progeny has been railing agonist the world . I have reacted poorly exacerbating the situation. I have picked the rope and tried getting into a tug if war with him. I have not been the proverbial captain of the ship . I give his school full credit and kudos for being that which I espoused he needed while I failed epically . But alas I've been granted another day to regain the wheel and right our course . 

In a role reversal Junior Mint realizes he is not in control in the classroom and has artfully been pushing my buttons. Needless to say after this post I shall mediate more, work out and refocus. As on of the characters in "Westside Story " sang " you gotta stay cool boy" 

This is not me berating me or letting my progeny off the hook for his behavior. This is me reflecting on how I can adapt and better guide my boy. I can reduce his anxiety by staying calm and taking time to refocus. 

This will be a great year for us. I firmly believe that. My child has excellent staff at school now the onus is on me to maintain consistency by being the dad I've been . The onus is also on him to accept personal responsibility for his  words and actions and to believe in his support staff , or coaches as he likes to call them. This will be our year .

I watched him at the pool yesterday and by golly that is one competitive boy. I'm torn though because I was über competitive , as was my dad ( a top notch salesman) and my brother ( a Ph. D and leader in his department and field ) . I just read that Bud Norris ( MLB pitcher ) was chastised in second grade for being too competitive. Steve Jobs? Über competitor ... Donald Trump ? über competitor...Ray Lewis? Über competitor Adam Jones ? über competitor...Michael Phelps? Über competitor ...the list is endless . So how do I handle my youngsters win at all costs and never accept defeat attitude ? Seriously  open to suggestions. 

Ok folks I've rambled enough ( which is code for I need to refill my coffee) 

Have a great day and thanks for reading . 

United we stand and a whiz bang day

Greetings y'all ,

Well yesterday was a successful first day at school . Some bumps in the road but a success. The only way my son does not have a successful day is through his decision not to accept personal responsibility and not realizing I am united with and stand behind his staff. He tried stretching it yesterday and didn't accept responsibility for his actions and therefore tried acting out. He will learn , because he's a bright boy, has a great staff and his dad will reinforce, that school time means more structure but more  positive structure too.

So after school , as per my promise ,we played more baseball. I confess I was upset by the way Ace handled himself at the end of the school day. I gave him no quarter and cut him no slack. I was a stern coach. It seemed to work though. He gleefully shagged fly balls and accepted direction at the plate. He understands my incremental coaching method. We spent a long time just pivoting the hips to gain pop and power at the plate. When I felt he was ready he drove several balls into the outfield and on the last pitch scorched one up the middle off my ear. Ok that was scary . I saw the seams, I read the print on the ball , I heard the crack of the bat and the whiz of the air flowing over the sphere as it headed toward my mug. I had two thoughts .1. Wow great swing . That Alabama stride style and hip pivot has really worked and increased his bat speed. 2. Duck!!!! Unfortunately I had those thoughts in that order . 

Ok ok I deserved to get nailed by my progeny after giving him multiple baseball boo boos this summer. Once i got back up I laughed and even high fived him ad complimented him on his textbook technique. He says he never saw a person fall flat out in real life, just like the guy in "Major League" who drank Jojubu's  (sp?) rum and gets beaned by a bat.  In all seriousness though Ace shot out to the mound to ensure is old man was ok and I'm fine.  

We followed that with a little tennis and a lot of reading. He got his first two Black Eye Susan 2013-2014 Award nominee books out of the library and read one last night. So we finished with a snuggle, a cuddle and a good read. 

Thanks for reading again today folks ! 

One shot at kid-dom

Greetings y'all !

Well like most parents , or at least I presume like most parents , he I sit sipping coffee with the morning breeze , watching my progeny sleep and wondering how did he go from learning to walk and and his first utterances to starting fourth grade? Oh sure I know time marches on, hold on to the moment , embrace his growth , it's his journey , yada yada yada . But I'm selfish sometimes. I reflect back an miss that wee bonnie lad. Ya only get one shot at kid-dom. Once you grow up you can't go back. 

Here's where I chastises and berate myself . I posit I've failed as single parent I'm so far as I haven't let him be just. Kid enough . He and I discussed that this year his job was to be a kid. Have fun and live life knowing that his daddy has back and future will be there no use rushing it. Hey I gotta be honest nothing beats his snuggles and giggles. I gotta encourage them and hold onto them. I know at any minute he'll trade me in for cool friends. Quite honestly I believe in him and our bond though. This week he really understanding that expanding and adding people doesn't take away from us.

We wrapped up our summer vacation with a last trip the BirdLand. He made his first poster for his favorite player . Naturally we got to the stadium early and ran into to some Yankee fans from NYC. We actually bumped into them several times throughout the day . Ace learned we can cheer against a team but the people tend to be just like us. It's helped that we both root against the BoSox. 

Before the game we played catch with one his game balls . He was outstanding it was was all grins and giggles until he missed one and it hit his nose.  I rushed to him and to my horror his nose was bleeding. Fortunately one of Baltimore City's finest was walking by with stadium security. They made a few quick calls while Ace squeezed his nose and me. i held him , feeling horrible. Then we all went to stadium main lobby. The staff gave Ace ice , medical treatment and comfort while he nestled in my arms.   Once inside Ace got to chat with Tommy Hunter. He got his ball signed and said "daddy this ball is never hitting my face again , it's my autograph ball now " after he got TJ McFarland to sign it we settled in and kept score for a good game. 

 After the game he played the Electric Louisville Slugger violin that was used for the national anthem , ran the bases and started chatting with a group a youngsters . They all waited outside the players parking lot and were excited when Buck Showalter stopped to chat and sign autographs . Ace was satisfied his summer vacation ended on a good note . 

So I guess the key words this year are love, belonging , believe , fun and kid-dom. I love my child unconditionally. I just need to ensure he only has kid thoughts and concerns . We look at children and spend so much energy preparing them for being grown ups that we forget to let them enjoy the journey and joy of being a child. A sweet , quirky and exuberant child. Don't get me wrong I'm still working him accepting personal responsibility this year. Your job is to keep me in check this year. I can't stop time. I can't stop him from growing up but I can ensure it's as wholesome and natural and organic and individualized as possible . 

So dear son - I believe in you ! Thank you for being in heaven and picking me as your dad. 

Have a great day y'all and thanks for reading . 

Hello Stranger

Greetings Y'all !

If you missed me half as much as I missed you then I missed you twice as much as you missed me. Yeah I know that's corny , but  that's me too. 

Summer is winding down so 'tis time to reflect and project. Summer for the Robinson Boys meant baseball . Ok so I was blessed with working with an amazing staff and marvelous starter scholars but for Junior Mint and myself it meant playing and studying and reading about and analyzing baseball. We went to various games and played as often as possible . I saw great progress from Ace. It helped him learn to be a better citizen and team player . To learn how's not can produce huge results and to persevere. There's always another pitch , game , day ,etc.....Oh don't get me wrong we squeezed in hikes and swimming as well. 

I'm keeping with my honesty and transparency promise not every day was an idyllic day at the park. But that is life . Ace had a few bad moments but learned to handle them better next time . I very wise young lady told me yesterday "children just want to belong and to be loved" . With our collaborative problem solving and love we are making progress . I know you're thinking " wait you mean he is ...the one with the problem should own the problem end of story." Ok I reelect where you're coming from but in my very humble opinion part of the problem is my reaction. Was I reactive , making it worse ,  or proactive , helping the problem to be identified and solved?

I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination. I failed often this summer . I kept picking myself up and dusting myself off though and getting back in the game. We both learned who helps us the most in the neighborhood too. He's found , and it was a painful lesson but one he had to endure , who calms his special brain and who/what gets it more wonky . It tore me up watching him learn this but now he owns it. 

We are both jazzed for the new school year. He's told the world "sorry folks I have THE best fourth grade teacher and IA" I have to concur with him. It's going to be an outstanding year for both of us. 

As always thanks for reading again today folks .