International Day of Peace

Greetings y'all :

I've got a feeling today's journal will be a jumbled up gobbdly gook meandering mish mash with a myriad of mental gymnastics,. A veritable gumbo of thoughts, or not .Lets  see since this bear of very little brains is also scattered brained it doesn't really mater where I start since I'm already  typing . 

I hope everyone is well since we  last met.  We are doing what we do best, bobbing and weaving , adapting and moving forward . Junior Mint , in Junior Mint fashion , has had his ups and downs.but mostly up. He's still struggling self control and letting others take the lead . He's got great classroom support and help from his school. It's up to him to believe in himself. 

I've entered a new phase of my life. I've found a woman who is a strong partner and who accepts both of us . She has bonded  with him , to the point that he opens up to her. She is nonjudgmental and intuitive. She put her lovely finger on his problem - he's not a pain , he's in pain . I cried when she said that because I knew it , one other person sees it and now her.

 My heart aches for my son . He wants to  bare his soul but is scared at how much it hurts to do so.  It helps growth but is extraordinarily painful to open wounds and cleanse them.  I hate seeing him hurt but he must face his pain and own it to dispel it. 

I don't know , I just don't know .   I know I have a great boy and a good woman . Makes me feel blessed . 

Have a peaceful Autumn. 

Thanks for reading again . 

Finding your tribe

Greetings y'all ,

I may have written about finding your tribe previously but life is not linear. So here's my take on one the socio- emotional trends. Like everything else this is my take , my opinion , my view point. 

Folks know that it takes a village to raise a child but not many realize or appreciate it takes a tribe to raise an adult . Yes raise an adult . How many of is go through life on cruise control ? How many of us are unhappy with our career choices ? With our peer choices ? 

Lets analyze that - choices . Life is about choices . I choose to be open , open to others and open to change in life and myself . That means I need to choose people who support that attitude and philosophy. By choosing those people I leave some folks on the periphery but I also pull others into my inner circle . 

I have chosen a career , or perhaps it has chosen me , that lifts me up and nourishes my soul . I find I am surrounded by individuals who are like minded in their desire to help others and by students who bring out the best in me. I look forward to the challenges I face each day as ways to grow and learn. 

I've recently allowed people into my inner circle on a personal level. It's made a tremendous difference because they are like minded. My tribe is making me a better man , parent and educator . I thank you all .

Thanks for reading again folks . 

Never Forget

Greetings y'all , 

No doubt we will hear Never Forget as the mantra on this sad day in American and world history . Tragic events that are still not completely understood . However I will write today for a slightly different and askewed stance. 

Never Forget-  the loved ones still in your life 

Never Forget- to be grateful for the little things in life 

Never Forget-  to hug your kids, mates, loved ones on the way out the door.

Never Forget-  to tell people the positive things you see in them , 

Never Forget- to express love and peace 

Never Forget- to forgive 

Thanks for reading again today .

Holy Marshmallow shooters batman !

Greetings y'all ,

Yet another interesting weekend is in the books . Friday night was dinner with friends , Saturday evening was a raucous adventure and Sunday was the local festival . I learned quite a lot this weekend. I learned I ought to follow my instincts regarding my sons bedtime. I learned my son may say the occasional cheeky word but is a good boy deep down . Ok so I already knew that one. As I told my progeny sometimes its the volume used with the words not the volume of words used.

 Saturday was a one of those loud days with lots of children being children. Sadly I realized I'm becoming "that guy" the loudness was overwhelming. But the kids were being good , just exuberant. Part of our tribe addressed his vocabulary choice. We are still working on dropping the weak cheeky words for strong powerful words. He's getting there, it's incremental . 

Sunday was a wonderful day. Junior Mint and I woke up and opted for our infamous Ovaltine pancakes for breakfast. The best part ? He fixed them. I love those moments when we slow everything  down and reconnect. After breakfast we walked up to the Reisterstown Festival with friends.  Good conversation, good times, and good music ensued. Quite honestly with out these friends we'd still have adventures but they would be the isolation activities I prefer such as hiking or staying inside even if we went to big crowded places we'd be in our bubble . My quirky and exuberant child is an extrovert and I am an introvert.

At the festival junior mint happily petted several reptiles and a friend bought him marshmallow shooter. ( cue sense of dread and foreboding) guess what though ? He was amazing! He used the shooter where and how he was instructed . At one point we went to the files so I could throw a frisbee in the air for him to skeet shoot. When his two friends went to the playground he readily accepted that he should shy away from it because he gets wound up. Instead he played with his new toy, played football with new folks he met, played baseball with school chums, and had a stellar time. He was given.$5 to spend and spent it wisely without asking for anymore. We showed off how amazing he can be to the whole community including some of his staff at school, neighbors , and school chums. 

Naturally we finished the night with a good snuggle. Yeah I'd say it was a good weekend.

The unexpected

Greetings y'all ,

Ok so we finally slept in today , unfortunately we missed a commitment we'd made. But we've been cleaning and singing and reflecting . I have spent the week in the zone of the unexpected . 

My sons teacher has him figured , that's not unexpected because she's fantastic. I suppose it's a pleasant surprise that his teacher sees what I do and can help him and me. Again I'm not surprised she can its more that I've spent years watching my slip and be taught learned behaviors that are hard to break. Now this amazing educator is tasked with retraining him. It's gonna be a great year. 

Some of y'all know I like to write . I write this journal, I write lyrics, poetry , short stories etc... I've recently taken up writing letters again. What a great way to tell some one the positives they bring to your life . This was an unexpected joy . 

Y'all probably know I'm a hopeless romantic and cock eyed optimist . But I'm also of the mindset that it's hard to catch the Robinson Boys. In part because I lack the confidence that I'm worthy . I've had an unexpected happy surprise of late. I'm not used to being accepted much less both of being accepted. It's good to have friends and extra eyes. It's a good feeling , didn't know it could/would/should happen.  

I suppose I ought to finish cleaning and get ready to Carpe Diem . 

Thanks for reading again today folks . 

Happy New Year

Greetings y'all , 

* Warning - this will be one of those stream of consciousness , rambling , meandering posts. You are urged to grab a large cup of coffee. It's ok I can wait.  (sings/whistles Andy Griffith theme song while waiting ) Welcome back my friends, let us begin .

Yesterday was the Jewish new year . So happy new year everyone. For us it seems like it came right on time. Junior Mint and I celebrated a new month and now a new year. September has been a month of hope and promise thus far. I am trying very hard to remember to savor each moment. By not dwelling in the past, by staying present and not stressing over the road yet to come I've noticed several doors opening up. 

Yogi Berra once said " when you come to a fork in the road  , take it " and I warned you this post will meander so.....

Team Junior Mint is still rocking . The only one not pulling his weight is Ace himself. He's got a new set of incentives. September will be the hardest month for him as he grows and discovers himself. His team will keep working with him. I told him that this month I will be very strict with him but that eases as he exhibits better independent decision making. The difference this year is that I have my tribe behind me and I stand firmly behind his teacher. One set of expectations across the board. One strong team and one amazing boy, a veritable recipe for success. 

Wednesday night we helped part of our tribe move. Fortunately they stayed within our building but still, he was reminded how many people love him. He also saw his father show his strength by acquiescing power. We talk about being the one in control means we have the power and ability to let others lead. He saw me have the confidence to step back, he saw the rewards of me doing that. 

It's quite possible my introverted tendencies have kept us from many social occasions . I feel socially awkward and get nervous. Suddenly though I seem to have a network and a tribe that is an extension of us.  I suppose a single dad who lacks social graces and is introverted and an only child who lacks social graces but is an extrovert could use a strong understanding tribe. Our blood family would help if we were closer. Our blood family is a few hours away but now he, or we, have family here. The onus is on me to rise up to their level of support and show my progeny the proper way to interact . To accept others by giving more than we receive .  Perhaps I stumbled on a previous issue. I have always felt I had little to offer and wasn't worthy of others. I did not want help because I had nothing to offer in return.  

Ok time to refill my mug o' joe .....

I'm back my friends . Since we were off yesterday and the previous night was filled with limited sleep and the weekend was filled with play and jocularity that meant housework beckoned. We made our infamous homemade bread and soup , we did laundry and I put on Pandora Radio to get us moving. It worked except moving meant almost four hours playing guitar and singing and dancing . Although to Junior Mint's credit he did read for close to six hours yesterday. He also helped me tutor a wonderful young scholar. So even though I dragged my tail-fin and neglected housework it was a day of growth . 

We can push through today . And get to the weekend. I think we'll be ok. 

FYI - you successfully navigated my meander mental maze and reached the conclusion. Reach way up high and pat yourself on the back. 

Thanks again for reading today folks. Remember it doesn't matter where you've been and you never really know where you're headed so stay in the present. 

In the still of the night

Greetings y'all ,

Once again I find myself facing the impending sunrise with a hot cup of coffee and a myriad of thoughts pin balling  through my busy little brain. The difference is that while I have a cornucopia of concerns I also have a plethora of pleasantries of late. I suppose the key is to use the positives as motivation to lessen the negatives . My mind as been put at ease ever so slightly knowing I have supports and especially knowing my offspring will have his best year ever . 

Yesterday I surprised Ace when I stood firm and was truly captain of the ship again. In a situation that I would have traditionally coddled I expressed disappointment in his choices and reiterated my unwavering high expectation. Firm , fair and loving. He rose to the expeditions with glee and verve and was happy to have met my standards and his teacher's expectations. 

He's still a work in progress but I sense the amount of concentrated energy his school , community and I are putting into him will pay dividends before we know it. This is the hard work of time consuming investments before the growth. As he's learned in school and reiterated through out the community 

Never give up 

Encourage others

Do YOUR best  

( http://www.thenedshow.com/ ) 

Thanks for reading again folks 

strange waters

Greetings y'all ,

First of all I'd like to thank everyone for their wonderful and creative advice for helping my son improve his word choice. I sought out and received advice from a variety of venues and resources. The most surprising was the unexpected and surprise intervention  he got last night. Junior Mint wrote an apology letter to the boy and his mother and was very humble when we delivered it.  While we were there another neighbor stopped by. My son found himself surrounded by five adults from the neighborhood who adore him, believe in him , and are raising the expectations for him.  Being accountable to me is one thing but now he's accountable to many others who have my back. 

That was amazing . I am so used to flying solo and having a me/us against the world mentality. I'm used to hearing you've got a great child but his choices aren't good then leaving me isolated . Now suddenly we find four neighbors who are reaching out to help him and me. Tis strange waters I be navigatin' . 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is his year. Heck it might just be our year! I've found some strange creatures to talk to recently , they are called adults. I believe I could get used to this and I believe in Junior Mint.

Once again thanks for reading again to folks .

Potty mouth advice

Greetings y'all ,

Well folks its rare but I am seeking advice. My son suddenly started spewing vulgarities this weekend . He'd drop an occasional cheeky word before but this weekend would've made a sailor blush. I'm seeking advice how to curb this and nip it in the bud.   

Thanks 

A work in progress

Greetings y'all ,

Let me begin by saying Happy Labor to everyone. I am grateful for a good job and a wonderful son so I can enjoy this holiday. For y'all outside the USofA. Labor Day is a day to celebrate the workers. Conditions were once horrendous , we may be headed that way again, but the unions allowed for better wages and work conditions . 

Now back to our regularly scheduled journal. As you may recall I forced my progeny to work hard on Saturday so we may could enjoy the next two days. Guess what ? Yesterday was awesome ! Oh yes my wee bonnie lad had his share of fits and starts but I discovered something truly humbling and amazing. I have a support system  

That may seem minor but for a man who's been this doing this solo for so long it was humbling. I had not one but two people who see the light and promise in my child and embrace him when he acts out, when he's accustomed to being shunned. It's truly been years since we had anyone who would accept us, yesterday we found two. Some of the best advice I received was " he's a work in progress" .

We swam and played for seven hours yesterday then the kids played until it was just too dark. The boys decided to play board games for hours after that . More importantly it was with out incident. One of the other young lads is an incredibly respectful and patient older young man willing to gently redirect my competitive progeny  The adults commiserated while the children played. Norman Rockwell eat your heart out . 

I'm not sure I deserve this much support,love, understanding and help but I refuse to sabotage it. Yes junior mint and I are ridiculously good at self sabotaging. Everyone deserves  happiness and peace , and I finally believe I do too. It takes a village to raise a child. I finally found folks I can trust . Could this mean I'm expanding my tribe on a social and personal level.  I just need to be careful when the Introvert in me starts coming out . 

Time for more coffee and mediation . Thanks for reading again today folks.

Hey look it's yet another new day !!

Greetings y'all ,

Well we survived yesterday, I see you did too since you're reading this here blog. I took your advice . I stuck to my plan , I gave my best disappointed dad look . I did not waver, I gave no quarter. 

So it only took junior mint 4 1/2 hours to complete his thirty minutes of work. He's a good boy and we did our CPS (collaborative problem solving).  He figured out the problem and offered a few suggestions. We will try one but if it doesn't work we can revisit it , retweek it or try the next one. The key is to dig up the function of the behavior and what te problem is not focus on what was done wrong. 

We eventually made it to the pool. I know it's a shock to hear the Robinson Boys engaged in aquatic activities . The pool was another story.There is a wonderful neighbor who truly views junior mint as quirky and exuberant and has been a great asset in keeping me straight. That is quite rare for me. I mean it's rare that I have adult interactions especially with someone who has a boy my son age an who gets my progeny. I mean truly gets who my son his. Heck she even gets me. I am grateful for the positive interaction.

So today is yet another tabla rasa. The weather looks to turn hinky so we may hit the pool early. I need to get back to Meeting with Friends but petrol and mula are tight . Ok that's a weak excuse.  Sure I can mediate anywhere but nothing beats being surrounded by the light of Meeting. 

Thanks for reading again today folks.