Peace comes from within

Greetings y'all ,

     Yesterday was another good day to be a Robinson Boy ! We had a lazy morning of snuggling , laughing ,and watching MythBusters . We did our mindful meditations at home but neglected to attend our meeting. We still found peace in the presence of God but miss the corporate mindfulness of meeting. 

    The afternoon found us back out on the peat bogs , err swamps, err ball field playing more baseball. Our feet were cold and wet and our clothes were muddy but our souls and hearts were happy.  We felt like we are back to a loving, happy  and peaceful place emotionally , spiritually and psychologically. Ace has developed a pretty good swing and I admire his dedication. He's just a good boy , he's starting to grow up and shows greater responsibility. 

     To wit our next stop was the library for computer time for young master Robinson. This has been a dodgy proposition in the past but rather than threaten with negative consequences for not getting off the computer nicely we discussed how he would transition smoothly and be successful. No consequences either positive or negative were dangled just that I had confidence he would meet our expectations. Well the poor lad lost half time to a computer that kept freezing up. He repeatedly went to  the  staff for assistance and they adroitly and politely helped him. It seems the website  was the culprit. With a few minutes left for his computer time Ace stated " looks like this isn't going to work today, lets leave early" I was happily dumbfounded. No fuss , no muss. 

     He suggested we take a drive and I agreed. We drove and discussed what happened and how well he handled the situation. My chest was bursting with pride. Junior Mint has worked exceedingly hard . It's safe to say the  CBT ( cognitive behavior therapy )  and CPS ( collaborative problem solving) are working for him. Wow and atta boy!!

     What really makes me proud is that we've had nefarious ne'er do wells spewing invectives and verisimilitudes while attempting to intimidate us  earlier and yet we forged ahead and took care of our business. Everyone has a right to their opinion and life . Everyone has a right to live in peace , even the Robinson Boys. Once again we discovered how many neighbors watch out and listen out for us.   We have an expectation to live peaceably in our complex and community. 

     The night wrapped up with removing layers of mud , having a wonderful dinner together and snuggling up more to watch a DVD about the brain and neuroscience. Hey he picked it out and it's a topic that fascinates me. He gained greater insight into how and why he thinks the way he does and how and why others think and behave as well. Well played young man, well played. 

     Looks like it's coffee time folks . Thanks again for stopping by and reading. I started this journal as a means to document our lives expose the bumps and joys of life and single parenting of a quirky and exuberant child , and for a personal reference as I compile material to re-write my book. I write for cathartic and personal reasons. I never expected to reach 100 views and here we sit at 10,000 page views. While that isn't much for some folks it's shocking  and humbling to me . Thank you all for your continued reading, comments, support and sharing. 

Have a fruitful day ! 

My slugger and love cub

Greetings y'all ,

     Well yesterday started off promising and ended wonderfully but we had a hiccup in between . Hey I promised honesty and transparency so here goes. We started off well but my PTSD and his anxiety, which has been on the surface because of unsavory people doing unsavory things to us , flared up simultaneously. I slipped and was not therapeutic and the nurturer I usually am. Sadly I became the parent negative influences said I needed to be and I saw my son regress. I was able to catch myself and move us forward . He and I processed and talked and ended up laughing . 

     However I was devastated that I slipped and became sullen and blue. I tend to be rather hard on myself. It took a  couple of good friends and our neighbor , who we think is really an angel sent to help us, to remind me of my good qualities and my humanity and realign my thinking. My son saw me slip , fall., fail , regroup , rise up , reach out  and keep moving forward. He saw me fail and learn. 

     Ace suggested as did our angel and friend , we head out and just play. We dropped the top and listened to Imagine Dragons I'm on top of the world!  Wow talk an upbeat mood setter and our our new theme song. I'm sure people thought we are a tad odd for singing loudly with top down , but I'm equally sure we didn't care because at that moment it was just the two of us , the rockin' Robinson boys ! 

     We ended up heading to Toys-R-Us , a store I know many love but I loathe, so he could spend his Christmas gift card on baseball stuff. After all he is excited to play little league and in spite of the snow covered fields the air temp was 60 F . Well Ace got a batting tee , wants to practice switch hitting , and his first wooden bat. Seriously a nine year old who wants to use wooden bats ! 

Naturally he slept with it while dreaming of hitting the game winning homer . He's adorable ! I love his naïveté and innocence after all he's experienced . I love him so much. He keeps me centered. 

     We used the tee but not the wooden bat. We found a field with minimal snow and commenced our spring training . In essence we played on a field that was swampy, snowy and icy and had a blast ! He got a baseball training book and DVD at the library Friday night and studied them before we went out yesterday and applied what he learned . That right there is a coachable kid. 

     We followed that with a trip to the grocers . He has decided he needs to eat like big leaguer , lean protein and leafy greens. He's ready to get into bigleague shape   and has a weight goal and running goal. Hmm guess that means I'll have to start eating right and getting in shape too- score !

   We wrapped up the evening snuggling and watching " MythBusters" . Like I said we started strong , slipped but ended strong . Life has it's vacillations, I think the key is to remember that, not get too caught up in them and keep moving forward. 

    Thanks for reading again today folks .now carpe diem! 

it takes good neighbors to make a neighborhood

Greetings y'all ,

      Well folks we have another fresh start to another day. We've been surrounding ourselves with positive, loving , caring ,happy , thoughtful , responsible ,respectful and supportive people . Wow what a difference in our gestalt ! We are happier , less stressed and more relaxed.   

     This week , once again, I was able to demonstrate to my progeny when and how to walk away from conflict and negative influences who wish us harm and act with malfeasance. He learned and witnessed the power we hold by not giving those who are angry and lost our attention when they are trying to drag us down. Instead we quietly disengage from those who are disconnected and walk away , physically, psychologically and emotionally. The only exception is we hold them in the light and pray they find genuine peace. There is good in everyone even those with bad behaviors , habits and addictions. We don't approve of certain lifestyles but still feel sorry for people without interacting with them 

     Perhaps the silver lining is the boy wonder was shown the opposite of what we , his tribe , show him at the tender age of nine,a very impressionable age. He saw the sadness of addictions, anger, aggression, hate, of surrounding ones self with negative forces. He knows you are who your friends are , you're judged by the company you keep. If you lie with dogs you get fleas. But if you surround yourself with people who lift you up spiritually , emotionally and psychologically in a positive loving manner and you reciprocate then you walk in the light with your head held high. He knows everyone makes mistakes , but that repeating mistakes is a pattern or habit. We are all human and have things to work on. That is a personal journey though , with the right guidance and supports we build on our strengths am repair our weaknesses. Anyone claiming they are who they are and don't need to change at all is stagnant and will be left behind as they spin in circles. 

     So alas we have pulled into our one particular harbor to repair or vessel and recoup and regroup. We've weathered yet another tsunami and are even closer, which is always a bonus and a surprise considering the bond I have with the amazing boy wonder.  Perhaps because he has seen proof I walk in the light , faced darkness and still remain loving, positive and I protected him. Perhaps because he realized he's got a dozen neighbors who are watching out for us and are positive and supportive. That we don't live in fear and hate but rather in hope and love. . He knows it takes good neighbors pulling together and lifting each other up with love and positive energy to truly make a neighborhood. With out those wonderful neighbors , well take the neighbor out of neighborhood and look at what you're left with - just a hood . 

    This week Ace has been receiving early birthday gifts from his fans in the neighborhood. He been given baseball cards and a collectors model motorcycle from a fabulous neighbor who sees him as a playful an intelligent grandson. He's been given time and pumpkin bread from another neighbor who views him as the light and gift of God that he is. Who helps give him a maternal guidance and extra therapy. He's been given the gift of a closer bond with his mother. They talk more and have such wonderful times together . He know we all love him and he i turn loves us. He has many friends in the neighborhood as well. Boys he can do boy stuff with, jostle , bump , be rough ad tumble and build those boy bonds. He's got girls who, like yesterday surround him when he gets home and just wanna play, talk , laugh and spend time with him. He's got younger children who look up to him and he plays gently and lovingly with them. He has adults who admire him , enjoy his humor , and like playing catch with him, etc... This is reality , he is fine at home and in the community with his interactions. Oh sure he's still only nine and has his moments but what human doesn't and at least he's learning and is coachable. 

     Which brings us to the early birthday gift from his mother and I. Ace has been craving organized sports however we knew in the past he wasn't coachable or quite ready. Ace signed up for little league baseball again. It's been a few years and his last experience was horrendous . He was bullied by the coaches sons , who were his team mates, and forced to stop being a switch hitter. He's got the emotional and psychological skills to be a great team mate now. He's accepted that he may be first string bench warmer and he has to earn a spot . He knows flexibility and listening will improve him as a player, person and team mate . 

     He's excited to garner more friends as well. It's been difficult since he's trapped in a class with the six or so students. He learns from his peers and tries hard to rise to the top. Guess I see my next windmill I must Quixotically tilt against. That is another chapter for another day though my dear followers.

     Folks I wanna thank each and everyone one of you for reading , following and supporting us. I hope you're enjoying our journey as much a we are. Now time for coffee , cleaning and spring training . 

  

Two Wolves and the Wolves within.

A timeless classic proverb we can all learn from and I posit it could stated that the same is for the company we keep. Do you surround yourself in light and with positive people ?

http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

Native American Legends

Two Wolves

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Here is the same story, but it is called "Grandfather Tells" which is also known as "The Wolves Within"

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

Love

Greetings y'all , 

     Well yesterday was yet another wondrous and loving day with the boy wonder . We had a snow delay and since we don't watch the telly or play electronics before school Ace created his own indoor Olympics

while I read a biography of Socrates and ironically ate Greek yogurt . Oh sweet irony how I love you . 

I had the time of my life laughing with junior mint as he created games , called the play by play and color commentary, received his medal (which he made) and just enjoyed being a kid. I loved it ! He was playful and quirky and full of creativity yet was mindful of the neighbors and didn't run or jump. He just "skied " Much jocularity !

At school he's still working on not letting others push his buttons but when you spend all day with the same six kids all if whom are expect button pushers it's hard not to respond . It's a surreal setting devoid of reality but with an excellent teacher and IA. It's the system that's broken.  Quite honestly if the system worked then kids wouldn't be repeating their patterns . My child included. He needs the chance the learn to fail and succeed with a broader scope of friends and classmates . Naturally , there will be some negative backlash for me posting this. However my child is being stymied. I suppose I am expressing this because I see similar behavior in my school but the kiss are treated as kids and are not under a microscope and therefore they flourish , grow and learn.  I reiterate he has a top notch teacher and IA who support us. Alas tis only my humble opinion but I know my child better than anyone and can only hope he's given the opportunity to learn with a wider base of students. Isolation leads to isolation and a Plato's cave view of the world, mindset and skills. 

  Last night was a fun filled electronic free night with reading to each other  , extra math, playing ball outside, and snuggling . I'm a pretty lucky fella.

Love , I titled this post love , but why ? Great question , thank you for asking . My son and have found that we can love people and ourselves by seeing the best in all. Does that mean we love each person ? Well it's hard , especially after what we've experienced.lately Yet because of what we've experienced lately we've discovered we can love each person , not always the act but light inside each individual. Whether is potential light or kinetic light shining, we look for the light. Therefore we love . 

To receive love , first one must give love.

Ok folks I was up early today and have read , worked out and now blogged. It's only 6am. I think it's coffee and more reading time . Thanks for reading again today. 

Liberation

Greetings y'all :

Well it's been awhile folks and I apologize for lack of updates and anecdotes. Life has been throwing curve balls and obstacles our way . We've re-newed and reinvigorated our relationship with God and find ourselves surrounded by positive ,loving, and caring people and energies. 

Sometimes one must trudge trough the depths and quagmire of Hades in order to discover the light. Life is impermanent . We admit we are human and make mistakes but we learn from them and move forward.  Do we expect the same from others ? Well we hope others  will be the same but don't expect them to be. 

Sadly we've watched folks run from things and themselves rather than to the light or look to change their weaknesses . We can only control our actions , reactions and relationship with God.  We aren't perfect and don't sit in judgement. Not our role. We hold those in pain and confusion in the light .

We had a bit of snow the last few days. Gotta admit 'twas good to have the purity of the snow lay down a layer of hope and cleanse some of the darkness in our lives. Yes we had snow days and of course played extensively.  Nothing beats spending time with my wonderful man cub! 

I've come to realize , again , I'm not perfect but I'm trying to learn. I've also realized my sweet child and I seek and deserve the nurturers in the world. I am a nurturer and perhaps the love we give and the way we show love is the love we need and hope for, nay require. 

I truly enjoy watching the boy wonder grow. It's easy to view children and little people and assume they should know what we know. The key is to realize they are little people who are learning and growing. I've seen my progeny grow exponentially the last few months, weeks and days. He amazes and humbles me. Many adults could learn from his effort and sense of personal accountability. Still he's a child and has many lessons to live and learn from.  He's my little hero . He reminds me of The Little Prince, a misunderstood child caught in an adults world. Stay the course young man , you have wisdom and insight beyond your years. 

Ok I've rambled enough today. As usual thanks for dropping by and reading.