Hello , again

Greetings Y'all;

It's been quite some time since I posted.  I will give a synopsis and update and not a   " grab a large cup of joe and get comfy" extensive catch-up blog. But you are warned I will expand shortly and slide into my not atypical loquacious self.

Here's the Reader's Digest Condensed version for your rapid perusal. I am surrounded by angels, we all are. they key is to be aware that fact and be open to them.
The boy wonder has never been a fit for the standard classroom. He has a free and busy mind. When he was placed in the small self-contained classroom he lost his verve and sense of self. His social, academic and emotional growth were stagnated and retarded. Please don't misinterpret  what I'm saying. he had some outstanding staff working with him, however, he also had staff that stymied him and the system wasn't right for him. I say this as a voice of one who worked in that system, My son struggled on many levels.  But was always bright and intelligent.  Academics were never a concern, just getting him to feel that he was human and didn't have to be superhuman was the concern,  To say man cub has a strong and dominating personality is an understatement.  He is a dynamic force to be reckoned with and gave his teachers fits,  He's given me fits.

Now let's jump into middle school. Middle school came on like a hurricane and neither one of us were truly ready for it or fit in. I started getting daily calls from  the school. I would work an hour then be told they couldn't get him to work or focus or blend in and he'd act out. We had countless meetings. At one point I went almost a month without pay because I had used my time up for him and kept having to go get him. I finally advocated what he needed and was blocked. I understand the difficulties of applying what works for him in the classroom filled with other students. But he had a plan and I didn't ask for anything I hadn't seen work for him or my scholars.
During this, we did our therapies and behavior management visits, applied what we learned there at home but we were both exhausted from the daily post-school emotional roller coaster. Neither one of us were truly available and present as we lived from emotional crisis to emotional crisis.  This was on me I take the responsibility for being the adult, the captain of the ship. I knew if I could maintain focus I could help him navigate these stormy seas and into his own quiet harbor. Okay I do realize many folks have it far worse than Mowgli and I do but I can only focus on us.
So to  quickly  recap, my son is in daily crisis, he was being given hands-on, physically restrained when not dangerous, which exacerbates his symptoms. His amygdala was in constant uh-oh, fight or flight mode.  He was not thriving in school. Others struggle on middle school and many if not most thrive.But Rusty is not like quite like the others. He has an amazing brain  and mind.  I prayed very hard and  was reminded thatI have Montessori teaching style that he responds to. I started planning for homeschooling. I hoped and prayed he could make until the after winter break. Alas, that was not the case. He was in crisis I had to start him immediately. I was forced to resign my position for a myriad of reasons and thus left with a limited income situation of sporadic part-time employment. My employer gives me as many hours possible and is a great company. Many jobs require travel, my decided to die on me too. So  I ride the public transportation and stand for hours oft times outside in all kinds of weather and then return late at night. Sometimes after buses are running.  But  I will do anything for my son.  This doesn't make me a martyr or great man, it makes me father. My grandmother was fond of saying " you do what you ought to do"
That brings us to where we are today.  My son's best friend's mother has become a dear friend to me. She, because she pushes, prods and cares discovered my fianicial bind. She understood I was homeschooling an extra needs child and saw that my presence at home has helped my progeny grow. He is not the same child he was two months ago or even a month ago. Yes, we all grow but I will selfishly state homeschooling has helped. Granted I've focused on his emotional intelligence because  I am not worried about his  academic intelligence. He's very bright but his low self-esteem led to severe bouts of ODD/ADHD.   Okay that and getting his way in school didn't help. He has turned the corner, he's headed to his quiet harbor.

We still have much work ahead of us, But I can move forward knowing I  have people on my side. When I first disclosed I was homeschooling  those who know my son and I were very supportive of my choice. They knew of his superhuman personality and my background in special education. They knew the bond my son and I have. They knew my successes in and out of the classroom. They knew my son thrives with my guidance. I look back at that decision as a time when we closed a chapter and started writing a new chapter with a happier ending,  That said it strained our already thin purse strings.

This is when the angels appeared. I accepted my new friend's guidance, her pushy but positively productive ways. I accepted her help. She and her friends and several of my friends created a heart-warming  miracle for us. We are humbled and grateful. We look forward to proving their trust in us was worthy.  Sometimes we need that push to keep us moving, but we always need to remain present and aware of the angels around as well as our chance to be an angel,

We survived the blizzard, I believe it was snowstorm Jonas. Next blizzard I see better be at Dairy Queen, just saying. We shoveled neighbors out and made some money.  To be honest, I miss working for the schools because  I'd be paid for being off instead of losing hours and money. but God is good. This is his plan and our journey,

As always, thanks again for reading folks hope y'all have a good day.

Game Two

Greetings y'all ,

Sports fans we experienced another loss. This one 4-1 but the game was called as we came up in the bottom of the last inning. I'm proud of the team . They played with heart, courage , moxie and spirit . All while having fun playing in the rain. 

I was very proud of the team and of course my own progeny . Rusty showed great improvement across the board. The goals this year in baseball for him are improved sportsmanship , improved skills , and to garner positive  peer interaction and socialization ; he hit it out of the park yesterday . Atta boy Rusty ! 

By no means did he play a perfect game but he practiced  our theory of brief meditation and next pitch theory to sally forth . He rushed to line up and shake hands with the other team after the game. An opposing coach mentioned how smart he played and engaged he was the entire time . 

So outside of baseball our lives are still in flux. We have several friends reaching out and feel loved and supported . We try to remember to fear no man because God is on our side. Amazingly enough Junior Mint had a great day at school yesterday because he finally listened to me and practiced what we do at Meeting . He sat quietly and talked to God when he was taunted and when his mind wandered. It's always been a thorn in my side when I hear " just ignore ...." In my opinion one needs a replacement behavior to listening to nandering nay-bobs of negativity and those trying to steal our tranquility . Meditation and brief quiet conversations occupy the mind in a positive way while helping tune out . Again I'm very proud of Junior Mint 

Thanks for reading again today folks . 

 

Opening Day and Dance Free

Greeting y'all ,

Well sports fans Rusty had his first opening day in four years under his belt yesterday. We learned he is a lot like his old  man ; fierce competitor , great utility fielder ( just put me in coach and I'll play anywhere ) but still needs work with batting nerves . We gotta work on letting the vile taste of defeat go immediately, it's something we are focused on. He's a thinker so it's difficult when he strikes out to just walk away - he gets frustrated with himself and wants to get right back in to make his adjustments. He shall learn though . 

You see the old Junior Mint would have had huge fits . The new and improved  groused briefly but continued to sally forth.  The sad exception was popping out to end to the game ( we lost 19-2 and could only score 5 runs at most anyway ) But its sad about him not shaking the other teams hands . Not acceptable . He had no time to process but still must learn to shake hands while feeling disappointed. A few minutes later he spoke to several opposing players and congratulated them though.  He also said. " pa I really need to listen to you , you said that bat was too light and keep my elbow up " 

During the game Rusty started at first base , a position he never practiced . He did a good job before being thrown onto the mound for relief pitching . Two positions he is excited to learn to play and field . His growth potential is enormous as his is heart. 

He wrapped up the game behind the plate. He's a natural at catcher . He's constantly involved in the game , no chance to be distracted. At first base he was focused as well and on the mound he shrugged off balls and hits and pitched very well. Great job Rusty! 

He has a good bunch of kids on his team and had the support of his mother and a neighbor. This will be a great experience for him. 

Is that all the Robinson Boys can squeeze into a lovely Saturday in Spring? No !!! We ended up at Friends dance. We really enjoyed ourselves . He danced and played,  I danced ( a little ) and enjoyed the evening . We both slept well , very well . 

So while he still keep our heads on a swivel while at home and in general we aren't in our apartment much. It's a place to rest out heads. We've learned tis better and safer to announce where we were that where we are going . We have an active life . But still miss just having  chill days in our flat.  I am happy and proud that Rusty is being exposed to positive socialization and is responding favorably. I'm so very proud of him. 

Well folks tis time to Carpe Diem.... again. Thanks again for reading. Have a very fruitful day !

Moving Forward

Greetings Y'all ,

Yes folks I know it's been awhile , I apologize . Junior Mint and I have been just trying to survive much less thrive or the last three months . Many of you know what's been going on but to give you a quick synopsis ; our car has been vandalized , our  home has been vandalized , we have been threatened repeatedly , we've had stones thrown at us and our car. Junior Mint has been feeling scared and unsafe in our neighborhood . The neighborhood has been over run by thugs, convicts, addicts and drug dealers . Not the family setting we moved into. We are actively seeking  to get Man Cub to safety. 

So other that we spent spring break preparing , exploring Gettysburgh , fishing ad playing baseball. Rusty is excited to play organized ball for the first time in four years . He's got spirit and a drive to win. I'm very proud of his dedication. 

Ok I'll keep it brief folks , thanks for reading again .

Life's Lessons

Greetings y'all ;

 Lessons learned today :

1. Lift with your legs

2. Children want and need that which is free and ought to be freely given; time, love, compassion, respect , viability, and guidance. 

3. Maintain your dignity and you can overcome 

4. Follow your moral compass , you have more people on your side than you realize as well as God 

5. Act with non-malfeasance - it's the right thing to do and it just feels better. 

6. Conduct yourself with humility 

7. Wish and actively bring/ project peace to friends and enemies a like .

8 " it is impossible to love your enemies because once you love them they are no longer your enemies . " H.H. Dalai Lama .

9. Work hard being the the parent your child thinks you are , the dividends are priceless. 

10.  Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV)

     Ok so I got off on a spiritual or religious bent.  I shan't apologize . We've navigated stormy seas of late and know it's our faith that has held us in the light and gotten us through. We have a few more squalls on the horizon but shall neither wither nor waver . iWe have faced  the tempest and are all the stronger for it. My insightful man cub recently compared our  journey to that of Odysseus, we had a siren attempt to crash us upon the rocks but we held fast and survived .

     Thanks for stoping by and taking time to peruse and ponder my thoughts. 

I'll take what's behind door number two

Greetings y'all ,

      Sorry for the hiatus ,life has been crazy , absolutely crazy. We've been worried about just surviving and avoiding threats ,attacks, and folks trying to terrorize and intimidate. Unreal what some people will do without consideration to the affects it has on a child. What this has done though is bring my son and I even closer together and help us discover the myriad of friends we have in this neighborhood and community . Granted we are looking to move soon though so my son can live in peace. In the meantime he's watched and learned how his pa handles bullies. With silent indifference, with sympathetic prayers, with caution , keeping a distance and surrounding ourselves with good , decent,  kind , loving and positive people.

    We've all heard the expression; as one door closes another door opens. I wonder how many of actually dissect and digest that .i know I never really contemplated the simplistic complexity of it. So here is my philosophical if not sophist opinion and viewpoint . We can choose to stand at the closed door ponder the what ifs and if onlys , remembering and misremembering the past , dwelling in the quagmire of would've , could've , and should've . But I ask , is that healthy ? What does it really solve ? Our other option is to notice our other choices and choose to walk through the nearly opened door into the future and new if not fresh wonderment. 

     You may have discerned I chose to use the word choose . This was not random . In life we have choices to make second by second. Choice to speak or remain silent . The choice of how to act, react, interact , etc...The choice of who we associate or socialize with. The choice to walk in the light or live in the shadows . The choice to live peaceably or to create drama . 

     We choose to walk in the light and to live peaceably . We choose to live, love and laugh. We choose to be grateful , thank God for our blessings, We choose to pray for those who are suffering to the point of hating themselves and thus everyone else.  We also choose to be safe. Sadly this has been difficult at times during the last few weeks. 

      Yet somehow, with the help of friends and a strong faith we've reinforced our resiliency. In think it helped that we studied about and watched film of the Freedom Riders and Martin Luther Ling this week . We've studied about Gandhi and Jesus already of course but my progeny saw what it's like to be tormented and have enough trust in God to not fight back.  So he can now pull from the archival footage ( ie his schema) of Gandhi ( great movie with Ben Kingsley) MLK ( we watched actually footage of his marches and speeches ) Freedom Riders ( again actual footage) 

Jackie Robinson and of course Jesus and the Bible. 

     Ok so we got sick this week but hey there's a few bugs being bantered around and  many folks are unwell. However our positive spirit has remained intact. Some have asked how that can be? My response goes back to my core- the love of God to guide us and watch over us , the comfort and love of good and decent neighbors ( several of whom delivered food and/or medicine and offered rides as needed)  and friends and the amazing unconditional love of my wonderful son. I am lucky to have him in my life and heart. 

     Speaking of the boy wonder, he was amazing at his little league evaluations last week , was a trooper this week as we walked to and from school waiting for the tires to be replaced ( they were slashed last weekend) and today he rocked my world , again. He had blood drawn ( big fear for him) we played ball for a long time ( I ran some drills for him and he loved it, very coachable and he got use his wood bat for the first time ) we stopped by the library and he noticed a bottle rocketry course/lab was being held there . Naturally he joined the class and showed what he already knows about physics and what that he's an eager learner. He had to design and build it then test his rocket . He remembered that Goddard took decades to get his off the ground and that engineering is trying and trying again. I'm so proud of him. 

   We ended up back in the library for fun and research then back to the fields  for more baseball . We wrapped up the evening snuggling , sniffling , and watching a documentary on The Exodus. I'm gonna file this under good day . I'm so proud of all the ways we is proving himself to himself and to others. He's really starting to believe in himself . I'm incredibly lucky to be his father and guide. 

     Ok folks I've rambled on enough . Y'all know we are resilient and as one door closes we will choose to walk through the next door as we continue our adventure . Thanks for reading again today folks. 

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket

Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it's empty, we feel awful.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people's buckets -- by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions -- we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others' buckets -- by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions -- we diminish ourselves.

Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.

But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That's why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us.

So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another's buckets, or we can dip from them. It's an important choice -- one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health, and happiness.

by ; Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.

Marching forward or "Hope springs eternal"

Greetings y'all ,

     Fare thee well February , I find I doth not detest ye for thy hath proffered both problems and positive potentiality . 

     February gave is freedom, hope, a greater sense of who is on our side with genuine love and honesty and who is creating sciamachies and offering verisimilitudes . In one way we became safer and less stressed in another we became more cognizant of the irrationality of ignorant ( yes those lacking knowledge ) individuals retarding their personal growth whilst attempting to anchor us and more aware of how dangerous unstable individuals can be thereby living in greater fear for personal safety, by that I mean we have been verbally assaulted and threatened repeatedly by people who aren't involved in our lives or situation. Poor Ace has been living with an amygdala that is constantly firing. Ace bore witness to individuals walking in the light and those hiding from the light, to those who love and support themselves and others with positive energy and those who create drama to hide behind and avoid looking within and facing and conquering internal demons. He was given two distinct and clear cut paths and futures. He has seen the results of feeding both wolves and has greater clarity to the causation of choices. 

   So in spite of the fabricated sciamachies others presented we rose above and are marching forward into that great unknown of the future . We do so with the knowledge of having several good and watchful neighbors. Neighbors will to defend and protect us in a responsible and respectful and safe manner with out anger or aggression but with grace and dignity. 

     In two short days the love of my life turns ten years old. I blinked and he got to the age of having numbers in the tens place. Ennui ? No not per se more a sense of pride of how much he's grown and how he is still my snuggle buddy . I have said it before and will reiterate we are beyond broke , but we are not broken. I have the pure and unconditional  love of a child who knows for 3,650 days I've been his defender, protector , guide and cheerleader. I am graced with a child that brings untold and plentiful blessings to my heart and home. We are Herbie the Dentist and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer ; we are misunderstood , and are unique while being " independent together" . If we could only get the rest of the universe to buy into the fact I know  my child inside and out, better than anyone else does.    We are the Robinson Boys !

     March is the month of our birthday and our rebirthday, that is the anniversary of my divorce. I must say Ace is fortunate to have a loving and caring mother active in his life, one he can call or text anytime and who enjoys his company and quirkiness. He has finally understood that his family loves him and divorce and nothing to do with him. He is wise beyond his years.  March offers us Spring  and the hope of fresh seasons and new beginnings.    

    Thanks for reading again today folks . Hope you have a magnificent March ! 

     

Peace comes from within

Greetings y'all ,

     Yesterday was another good day to be a Robinson Boy ! We had a lazy morning of snuggling , laughing ,and watching MythBusters . We did our mindful meditations at home but neglected to attend our meeting. We still found peace in the presence of God but miss the corporate mindfulness of meeting. 

    The afternoon found us back out on the peat bogs , err swamps, err ball field playing more baseball. Our feet were cold and wet and our clothes were muddy but our souls and hearts were happy.  We felt like we are back to a loving, happy  and peaceful place emotionally , spiritually and psychologically. Ace has developed a pretty good swing and I admire his dedication. He's just a good boy , he's starting to grow up and shows greater responsibility. 

     To wit our next stop was the library for computer time for young master Robinson. This has been a dodgy proposition in the past but rather than threaten with negative consequences for not getting off the computer nicely we discussed how he would transition smoothly and be successful. No consequences either positive or negative were dangled just that I had confidence he would meet our expectations. Well the poor lad lost half time to a computer that kept freezing up. He repeatedly went to  the  staff for assistance and they adroitly and politely helped him. It seems the website  was the culprit. With a few minutes left for his computer time Ace stated " looks like this isn't going to work today, lets leave early" I was happily dumbfounded. No fuss , no muss. 

     He suggested we take a drive and I agreed. We drove and discussed what happened and how well he handled the situation. My chest was bursting with pride. Junior Mint has worked exceedingly hard . It's safe to say the  CBT ( cognitive behavior therapy )  and CPS ( collaborative problem solving) are working for him. Wow and atta boy!!

     What really makes me proud is that we've had nefarious ne'er do wells spewing invectives and verisimilitudes while attempting to intimidate us  earlier and yet we forged ahead and took care of our business. Everyone has a right to their opinion and life . Everyone has a right to live in peace , even the Robinson Boys. Once again we discovered how many neighbors watch out and listen out for us.   We have an expectation to live peaceably in our complex and community. 

     The night wrapped up with removing layers of mud , having a wonderful dinner together and snuggling up more to watch a DVD about the brain and neuroscience. Hey he picked it out and it's a topic that fascinates me. He gained greater insight into how and why he thinks the way he does and how and why others think and behave as well. Well played young man, well played. 

     Looks like it's coffee time folks . Thanks again for stopping by and reading. I started this journal as a means to document our lives expose the bumps and joys of life and single parenting of a quirky and exuberant child , and for a personal reference as I compile material to re-write my book. I write for cathartic and personal reasons. I never expected to reach 100 views and here we sit at 10,000 page views. While that isn't much for some folks it's shocking  and humbling to me . Thank you all for your continued reading, comments, support and sharing. 

Have a fruitful day ! 

My slugger and love cub

Greetings y'all ,

     Well yesterday started off promising and ended wonderfully but we had a hiccup in between . Hey I promised honesty and transparency so here goes. We started off well but my PTSD and his anxiety, which has been on the surface because of unsavory people doing unsavory things to us , flared up simultaneously. I slipped and was not therapeutic and the nurturer I usually am. Sadly I became the parent negative influences said I needed to be and I saw my son regress. I was able to catch myself and move us forward . He and I processed and talked and ended up laughing . 

     However I was devastated that I slipped and became sullen and blue. I tend to be rather hard on myself. It took a  couple of good friends and our neighbor , who we think is really an angel sent to help us, to remind me of my good qualities and my humanity and realign my thinking. My son saw me slip , fall., fail , regroup , rise up , reach out  and keep moving forward. He saw me fail and learn. 

     Ace suggested as did our angel and friend , we head out and just play. We dropped the top and listened to Imagine Dragons I'm on top of the world!  Wow talk an upbeat mood setter and our our new theme song. I'm sure people thought we are a tad odd for singing loudly with top down , but I'm equally sure we didn't care because at that moment it was just the two of us , the rockin' Robinson boys ! 

     We ended up heading to Toys-R-Us , a store I know many love but I loathe, so he could spend his Christmas gift card on baseball stuff. After all he is excited to play little league and in spite of the snow covered fields the air temp was 60 F . Well Ace got a batting tee , wants to practice switch hitting , and his first wooden bat. Seriously a nine year old who wants to use wooden bats ! 

Naturally he slept with it while dreaming of hitting the game winning homer . He's adorable ! I love his naïveté and innocence after all he's experienced . I love him so much. He keeps me centered. 

     We used the tee but not the wooden bat. We found a field with minimal snow and commenced our spring training . In essence we played on a field that was swampy, snowy and icy and had a blast ! He got a baseball training book and DVD at the library Friday night and studied them before we went out yesterday and applied what he learned . That right there is a coachable kid. 

     We followed that with a trip to the grocers . He has decided he needs to eat like big leaguer , lean protein and leafy greens. He's ready to get into bigleague shape   and has a weight goal and running goal. Hmm guess that means I'll have to start eating right and getting in shape too- score !

   We wrapped up the evening snuggling and watching " MythBusters" . Like I said we started strong , slipped but ended strong . Life has it's vacillations, I think the key is to remember that, not get too caught up in them and keep moving forward. 

    Thanks for reading again today folks .now carpe diem! 

it takes good neighbors to make a neighborhood

Greetings y'all ,

      Well folks we have another fresh start to another day. We've been surrounding ourselves with positive, loving , caring ,happy , thoughtful , responsible ,respectful and supportive people . Wow what a difference in our gestalt ! We are happier , less stressed and more relaxed.   

     This week , once again, I was able to demonstrate to my progeny when and how to walk away from conflict and negative influences who wish us harm and act with malfeasance. He learned and witnessed the power we hold by not giving those who are angry and lost our attention when they are trying to drag us down. Instead we quietly disengage from those who are disconnected and walk away , physically, psychologically and emotionally. The only exception is we hold them in the light and pray they find genuine peace. There is good in everyone even those with bad behaviors , habits and addictions. We don't approve of certain lifestyles but still feel sorry for people without interacting with them 

     Perhaps the silver lining is the boy wonder was shown the opposite of what we , his tribe , show him at the tender age of nine,a very impressionable age. He saw the sadness of addictions, anger, aggression, hate, of surrounding ones self with negative forces. He knows you are who your friends are , you're judged by the company you keep. If you lie with dogs you get fleas. But if you surround yourself with people who lift you up spiritually , emotionally and psychologically in a positive loving manner and you reciprocate then you walk in the light with your head held high. He knows everyone makes mistakes , but that repeating mistakes is a pattern or habit. We are all human and have things to work on. That is a personal journey though , with the right guidance and supports we build on our strengths am repair our weaknesses. Anyone claiming they are who they are and don't need to change at all is stagnant and will be left behind as they spin in circles. 

     So alas we have pulled into our one particular harbor to repair or vessel and recoup and regroup. We've weathered yet another tsunami and are even closer, which is always a bonus and a surprise considering the bond I have with the amazing boy wonder.  Perhaps because he has seen proof I walk in the light , faced darkness and still remain loving, positive and I protected him. Perhaps because he realized he's got a dozen neighbors who are watching out for us and are positive and supportive. That we don't live in fear and hate but rather in hope and love. . He knows it takes good neighbors pulling together and lifting each other up with love and positive energy to truly make a neighborhood. With out those wonderful neighbors , well take the neighbor out of neighborhood and look at what you're left with - just a hood . 

    This week Ace has been receiving early birthday gifts from his fans in the neighborhood. He been given baseball cards and a collectors model motorcycle from a fabulous neighbor who sees him as a playful an intelligent grandson. He's been given time and pumpkin bread from another neighbor who views him as the light and gift of God that he is. Who helps give him a maternal guidance and extra therapy. He's been given the gift of a closer bond with his mother. They talk more and have such wonderful times together . He know we all love him and he i turn loves us. He has many friends in the neighborhood as well. Boys he can do boy stuff with, jostle , bump , be rough ad tumble and build those boy bonds. He's got girls who, like yesterday surround him when he gets home and just wanna play, talk , laugh and spend time with him. He's got younger children who look up to him and he plays gently and lovingly with them. He has adults who admire him , enjoy his humor , and like playing catch with him, etc... This is reality , he is fine at home and in the community with his interactions. Oh sure he's still only nine and has his moments but what human doesn't and at least he's learning and is coachable. 

     Which brings us to the early birthday gift from his mother and I. Ace has been craving organized sports however we knew in the past he wasn't coachable or quite ready. Ace signed up for little league baseball again. It's been a few years and his last experience was horrendous . He was bullied by the coaches sons , who were his team mates, and forced to stop being a switch hitter. He's got the emotional and psychological skills to be a great team mate now. He's accepted that he may be first string bench warmer and he has to earn a spot . He knows flexibility and listening will improve him as a player, person and team mate . 

     He's excited to garner more friends as well. It's been difficult since he's trapped in a class with the six or so students. He learns from his peers and tries hard to rise to the top. Guess I see my next windmill I must Quixotically tilt against. That is another chapter for another day though my dear followers.

     Folks I wanna thank each and everyone one of you for reading , following and supporting us. I hope you're enjoying our journey as much a we are. Now time for coffee , cleaning and spring training . 

  

Two Wolves and the Wolves within.

A timeless classic proverb we can all learn from and I posit it could stated that the same is for the company we keep. Do you surround yourself in light and with positive people ?

http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

Native American Legends

Two Wolves

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Here is the same story, but it is called "Grandfather Tells" which is also known as "The Wolves Within"

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

Love

Greetings y'all , 

     Well yesterday was yet another wondrous and loving day with the boy wonder . We had a snow delay and since we don't watch the telly or play electronics before school Ace created his own indoor Olympics

while I read a biography of Socrates and ironically ate Greek yogurt . Oh sweet irony how I love you . 

I had the time of my life laughing with junior mint as he created games , called the play by play and color commentary, received his medal (which he made) and just enjoyed being a kid. I loved it ! He was playful and quirky and full of creativity yet was mindful of the neighbors and didn't run or jump. He just "skied " Much jocularity !

At school he's still working on not letting others push his buttons but when you spend all day with the same six kids all if whom are expect button pushers it's hard not to respond . It's a surreal setting devoid of reality but with an excellent teacher and IA. It's the system that's broken.  Quite honestly if the system worked then kids wouldn't be repeating their patterns . My child included. He needs the chance the learn to fail and succeed with a broader scope of friends and classmates . Naturally , there will be some negative backlash for me posting this. However my child is being stymied. I suppose I am expressing this because I see similar behavior in my school but the kiss are treated as kids and are not under a microscope and therefore they flourish , grow and learn.  I reiterate he has a top notch teacher and IA who support us. Alas tis only my humble opinion but I know my child better than anyone and can only hope he's given the opportunity to learn with a wider base of students. Isolation leads to isolation and a Plato's cave view of the world, mindset and skills. 

  Last night was a fun filled electronic free night with reading to each other  , extra math, playing ball outside, and snuggling . I'm a pretty lucky fella.

Love , I titled this post love , but why ? Great question , thank you for asking . My son and have found that we can love people and ourselves by seeing the best in all. Does that mean we love each person ? Well it's hard , especially after what we've experienced.lately Yet because of what we've experienced lately we've discovered we can love each person , not always the act but light inside each individual. Whether is potential light or kinetic light shining, we look for the light. Therefore we love . 

To receive love , first one must give love.

Ok folks I was up early today and have read , worked out and now blogged. It's only 6am. I think it's coffee and more reading time . Thanks for reading again today. 

Liberation

Greetings y'all :

Well it's been awhile folks and I apologize for lack of updates and anecdotes. Life has been throwing curve balls and obstacles our way . We've re-newed and reinvigorated our relationship with God and find ourselves surrounded by positive ,loving, and caring people and energies. 

Sometimes one must trudge trough the depths and quagmire of Hades in order to discover the light. Life is impermanent . We admit we are human and make mistakes but we learn from them and move forward.  Do we expect the same from others ? Well we hope others  will be the same but don't expect them to be. 

Sadly we've watched folks run from things and themselves rather than to the light or look to change their weaknesses . We can only control our actions , reactions and relationship with God.  We aren't perfect and don't sit in judgement. Not our role. We hold those in pain and confusion in the light .

We had a bit of snow the last few days. Gotta admit 'twas good to have the purity of the snow lay down a layer of hope and cleanse some of the darkness in our lives. Yes we had snow days and of course played extensively.  Nothing beats spending time with my wonderful man cub! 

I've come to realize , again , I'm not perfect but I'm trying to learn. I've also realized my sweet child and I seek and deserve the nurturers in the world. I am a nurturer and perhaps the love we give and the way we show love is the love we need and hope for, nay require. 

I truly enjoy watching the boy wonder grow. It's easy to view children and little people and assume they should know what we know. The key is to realize they are little people who are learning and growing. I've seen my progeny grow exponentially the last few months, weeks and days. He amazes and humbles me. Many adults could learn from his effort and sense of personal accountability. Still he's a child and has many lessons to live and learn from.  He's my little hero . He reminds me of The Little Prince, a misunderstood child caught in an adults world. Stay the course young man , you have wisdom and insight beyond your years. 

Ok I've rambled enough today. As usual thanks for dropping by and reading.